Adoption

Adoption Shower

Hi Ladies,

DH and I went 'live' last week. Friends have offered to throw us a shower but it seem odd to have a shower when we don't know when we will get a baby. When did you have an adoption shower?

 

Re: Adoption Shower

  • Ours was after we had him. A little late but it's when we could get it scheduled w/ all our out of town guests. He was born 10-2 and we had it on 11-20.
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  • When DD was 7 weeks old
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  • Mine will be this week and our daughter will be 7 weeks old. 
  • Ours was a foster to adopt situation.  We had tons of people donate items to us for the age range and sex of the children we were fostering.  But, we had a shower thrown for us by my work after we finalized our adoption on DS.  By this time he was 3 years old, and he was the star of the show.  He loved it and so did we!

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  • Ours were after we had the baby (about a month later).

    Knowing what I know now, I wish we would have taken friends up on offers early in our wait.  It would have been nice to have the excitement and fun.  It would have also been nice to organize the items w/o baby in hand!  That said, you need to be okay with having a "baby house" through the ups and downs of adoption.  If you think it would be too hard to see baby things if your wait is long or has painful moments, you may want to wait. 

    The one thing I WOULD NOT do is to have a shower between a match and an actual baby.  We had three matches fall apart right at birth.  It was awful and hurt like crazy.  I would have struggled if we had baby things that were purchased for that particular baby.  (I know it's only slightly different than what I endorsed about but the intent of the gifts would have made a huge difference!)

     

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  • We had a welcome shower when DD was 6 weeks old. It was so nice to have her there with us so she could meet extended family and friends. I'm having a work shower in 2 weeks as well- DD will be 10 weeks.
  • Ours was originally scheduled between match and baby, but BM went into labor and changed her mind less than a week before the schedule shower.  We were devastated, and only did we have to deal with that, but everyone had to be contacted about the failed match.  It was hell.

    We deceided after that not to tell anyone about any matches due to potential heartbreak.

    We had the shower a month after DD arrived and the 30-day TPR had based.  It was so wonderful for her to be there and for everyone to meet the light of our lives!  Because the shower was after DD had been here for about five weeks, we ended up buying most things we needed ourselves, then returned a number of the items from the shower for gift cards, to buy items as the need presented itself.

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  • We just had one this past Sunday and DD is 7 weeks old today. Our other one is not for another 3 weeks so she will be 10 weeks old then. I didn't want to have one until after we had the baby so we could get gender specific things. We have just bought what we needed thus far and have gotten mostly bigger clothes and some of the things we don't need until later.
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  • We had a welcome baby shower when DD1 was about 2 or 3 months old.  Our parents helped us with some of the things we would need immediately, but really most of the things you'll register for you won't need right away... having the shower after the baby arrived actually helped me prioritize what I needed and what was "fluff". 

    Plus, we got to show off our new little girl!

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  • When our LO was 6 & 10 weeks old.

     I have to say, though it was a little bit of a bummer to buy many of the necessities ourselves, it was great fun to get so many toys and books. 

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  • We had all of our showers after Ben came home.  We didn't have a choice since we got the call after he was already born, but even if we had a match and had to wait a few months, I would have still rather had the shower after he was home.

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  • we suddenly became temporary guardians for a little girl with no notice with the idea that the mother wanted us to adopt.  Firends have offered to throw us showers but we have held off because we don't want to do that until the legal stuff ist aken care of.  If she doesn't end up staying with us (god forbid!) we would be totally heartbroken. Looking at/getting rid of things purchased specifically for ehr would be that much harder. We expect the judge to court order the permanent guardianship in 2 weeks which isn't as secure as adoption but still pretty darn secure and so we will allow friends to have us a shower after that.
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    History of IF and 2.5 years TTC. The day we were to start our first IUI we received a call that changed our lives forever and 10 month old Olivia joined our family. Shortly thereafter we got a surprise BFP and baby 2 is due July 5, 2012

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  • Luke was just about 3 months old when we had a shower. I was a little uncomfortable having a shower before he was born and TPR was signed, even thought I didn't doubt his BP's were going to go through with their adoption plan.

    It was a nice way for friends/family to meet him and for us to show off our sweet baby!

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  • Ours was after she was already home. She was born 11/5 and her shower was 12/13. We had a sip and see type shower, not the typical baby shower and it was great fun. We also made it kind of an open house so that people could come and go.
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  • Thank you all for your input!
  • So... I thought that I would want a shower before we were matched. That way nothing would belong to a specific child, and I could get gender-neutral things and start stock-piling. Then we had a very quick insta-match & then disruption, and well, I just never got in the mood again to have a baby shower. Plus, what I'm finding is that there is always something "better" and newer that comes out, and the longer you wait, them more often you see products you thought you wanted have been upgraded or discontinued, or recalled, or are not quite right for the season that you're baby is born in... Also, when we were matched after the baby was born we had so many offers of clothes and gear and even an extremely generous gift card (from Nesties/Bumpies, natch'!), that I realized I'd be ok if I just had the basics at first (right now I have a crib, a co-sleeper, a swing, some onesies and sleepers and a few other baby clothing items, two bottles, a couple of pacifiers, a travel bed, some newborn sized diapers and have an indefinite loan of my nephew's infant seat).

    With that all being said - I think if you want one, then let your friends help celebrate you & your journey... :)

  • amm78amm78 member
    Our plan right now is to not have a shower until after we bring our baby home.  I have a feeling, though, that people are going to want to throw us one after we are matched... but I don't know if I will agree to that.  I just think it will be better to wait until we have our forever baby so that we receive gifts meant just for him/her.
  • I've only had bio experiences, so it's a little different... But we decided not to find out the gender both times, so I had a shower 2 weeks after DS was born. The second one was a stillbirth, and as it is I've gotten rid of everything that was for him specifically. There is just something unsettling about keeping something "for" a child you've lost to use for another baby, and getting rid of shower gifts would have the added letdown of someone having bought it for him/her. So with adopting we will do the same as with our first and have the shower afterward.
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  • hway24hway24 member

    We had one about 2 months after going active, Dh thought it was weird since we weren't matched but I'm glad we did. We got alot of basic stuff and things for the nursery. We are planning on having another one after we have a baby.

    After 2years TTC and 1yr,2mo waiting for an adoption match, our blessing is here!

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  • Parker will be 7 weeks old at his. It is very small though. I felt really awkward about my mom throwing a traditional shower. MH and i plan to have something more like a welcome party for friends to come meet him!
  • Our was a few weeks after he came home. Yes, we had to buy most of the big stuff but I made sure to register for other items that were bigger that he would need a little later, like the bigger carseats and the high chair. We got almost everything we needed from that.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

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    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

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