Those with 3+ re: the oldest child adjusting

CaitlinJ22 · May 2011

So we are thinking of ttc this fall. If I got pg in Sept DD would be 2 when #3 is born, and DS will be 3.5.....SO my question is; I know I can handle DD's adjustment as a 2 year old, but what will the older one's adjustment be like? What can I expect at 3.5 years old? Will he be jealous? or will he be used to having a sibling so it won't phase him much? I'm just curious if anyone can tell me how their older child reacted. I am debating waiting until January so he would be closer to 4....or would a few months matter? I guess I just don't want him to feel left out. I know DD will be fine, but he is a sensitive kid and becoming a lot more aware of his feelings.

Is the adjustment to #3 easier because your kids are already used to sharing Mommy's attention?

Thanks!

lkf041 · May 2011

I'm curious about this too. My DS will just be turning 3 so I hope he adjusts as easy as he did when his sis was born. I've already done the 18 month apart thing so I'm not too worried about DD's adjustment... I feel like I kind of know what to expect.

MammaBear81 · May 2011

DS1 didn't have any trouble adjusting to baby #3 (DD1). I think he was used to not being the only one, so it wasn't a big deal for him. The funny thing is that when I had DD2, and DD1 was 16 months old, she was the only one our of all of them to show a little "jealousy". Basically she wanted to be on my lap when the baby was, I just taught her to sit next to me rather than ON me. I've already been starting this with DD2 in preparation for DS3. I think boys in general handle the jealousy issue better. I am hoping that this time around DD1 will want to "help" more than be jealous, she has really gotten into baby dolls in the past year, but I'm prepared for some outbursts.

shopgirl78 · May 2011

I thought 3 was harder logistically--getting in and out the car, using the carts at the grocery store, etc

My DD was 4.5 when her youngest brother was born. She adjusted well and it was completely fun (and she still talks about this) being able to go to the sibling class at the hosptial (ages 4 plus). At the same time, DS2 was born...my older two started fighting more and continue to do so...also my 2 year old was in a running phase making getting out very hard. It was hard to deal with boy terrible 2's (girls are different) at the same time as a NB. Luckily, my youngest son was a dream baby! Honestly, I think waiting longer would be easier. Would your 3 yr old be in preschool? Having DD in PreK made having 3 easier during the day. I always said the chaos started when she got home...

Nanna · June 2011

I can tell you that I was floored by my #1s reaction when #3 was born. He's seriously the most mellow and easy going kid ever and I was STUNNED when he turned into this horrible, whiny, tantruming mess. It lasted about 3 weeks. It didn't matter how much reassurance or attention or alone time he got with my DH and I, he was miserable. We've finally turned a corner and he's mostly back to normal but still needs a lot of reassurance. #2 has adapted to his new little sister just fine, and he's much more "needy" of my attention than his brother ever was.

Bride2b2004 · June 2011

For us, 3 was a terrible age. 2s were great and 3s were terrible. Thankfully, we didn't have the baby until he was a few days shy of 4 and things were much better then. He was old enough to understand things he wouldn't have been able to understand even a few months before. Also, he was in preschool and had his own things going on. So I would wait the few months if I were in your shoes.

Those with 3+ re: the oldest child adjusting

Re: Those with 3+ re: the oldest child adjusting

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