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January 2011 Moms
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? about friends

RosieBcheeks98RosieBcheeks98
in January 2011 Moms

anyone have any problems with friends/friend since having LO?  My "best friend" has not seen Cooper since he was like 3 weeks old.  She doesn't ask about him...because she is too busy talking about how she goes out and gets drunk all the time.  She always TEXT me to say lets hang out...but when we make plans she bails.  DH tells me to quit trying...I don't know what to do?!  Its so hard, we both have such different lives...but I miss her.  WWYD??  TIA

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Re: ? about friends

  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member

    I have definitely seen a shift since getting married. But now that my friends are getting married we are getting close again. I would say give her some space and if/when she starts to live life at more of your speed you guys may become close again. If she doesn't, then it's just a case of growing apart. 

    I mean, why the heck does she bail though? That's weird. Maybe she's jealous that she has to still go out and party and being with you reminds her of what she wants in life that she doesn't have yet. And that could be why she's always talking about partying, because she wants you to feel like you are missing out. But really, if I remember correctly, that scene got old. And I'm sure it is for her too.

    I think it's good to find, if you can, some new mommy friends and hopefully she'll come around. I wouldn't keep reaching out if she doesn't make an attempt to see Cooper. 

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  • mishu917mishu917 member
    imageMrsLynnyD:

    I have definitely seen a shift since getting married. But now that my friends are getting married we are getting close again. I would say give her some space and if/when she starts to live life at more of your speed you guys may become close again. If she doesn't, then it's just a case of growing apart. 

    I mean, why the heck does she bail though? That's weird. Maybe she's jealous that she has to still go out and party and being with you reminds her of what she wants in life that she doesn't have yet. And that could be why she's always talking about partying, because she wants you to feel like you are missing out. But really, if I remember correctly, that scene got old. And I'm sure it is for her too.

    I think it's good to find, if you can, some new mommy friends and hopefully she'll come around. I wouldn't keep reaching out if she doesn't make an attempt to see Cooper. 

    This!! My sorority sister (she was my big) and best friend for life (or so I thought) did the same thing. She was all weird after I got married (her and DH were great friends too) but now that she's getting married, we're becoming close again. We're not where I'd like it to be especially with LO but she's never had a kid, so I don't expect her to want to come visit LO all the time.

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  • meaganjoelle1meaganjoelle1
    At my old work I used to get along with pretty much everyone and one of my old co-workers who I like started some MUD trying to say that I hate her now for no reason... I don't get it I have been nothing but nice to this person and yeah I SAH now so I don't really see anyone from work that often except when I stop in and say hi. People get weird when you have a baby.
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  • harmony8283harmony8283

    imagemeaganjoelle1:
    People get weird when you have a baby.

     This x100!  I was BFF's with a gal I went to college with, actually we were college roomies.  She got married young and now has 3 children.  We've been friends for 10 years, and I asked her to be my maid of honor in my wedding last year.  Then i'm pregnant (which we planned!) and she's suddenly a no show.  I don't know if she's jealous for some reason, or what but she just decided we couldn't be friends anymore.  it's totally weird. she still never has met my DD, and went so far as to "unfriend" me on fb. so all that to say, i feel your pain & don't let it bother you.  find some mommy friends and move on. that's what i'm doing :)

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  • RouensDreamRouensDream member
    My BFF for over 20 years has only met my baby one time, when he was 4 weeks old. And during that time all she did was complain about some drama with another friend. (Which, I could care less about...especially when caring for a newborn.) We are living completely different lives right now.  Since having my LO I have really only been hanging out with family and mommy friends. I would love to see my other friends more, but I know we are on different paths. I'm at peace with it.

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