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Success after IF
Are you kidding me?! Major IF vent
We are trying to pursue a gestational carrier. My eggs and my husband's sperm. Our genetic baby. I'm reading about Texas law and it states that a Home Study is required unless waived by the courts.
I totally get the need for a home study for parents adopting kids, fostering kids, etc. Homes should be proved safe for those bringing other people's kids into their homes. Birth families deserve the right to know that their children are going to safe, child molester/abuse-free homes. And the states obviously have a lot at stake with the placement of foster children. I get that.
But, if I had a uterus, I wouldn't need a home study to get pregnant with my own biological child. We would just do it (via IVF of course!) Why do I now need a background check, FBI finger prints, and home inspection? Am I missing something?
This is the exact same process as normal IVF... just someone else's ute and some lawyers thrown in the mix.
Why do I need a home study!?!?
ps. I have no problem with a home study in and of itself. But, it's an extra expense and time waster for an already expensive and time consuming process! And I just don't get it.
EFF you IF... you've messed with me far too long!
After THREE years, our IVF miracle is here!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Are you kidding me?! Major IF vent
I'd be livid just on principle. LIV-ID. As in, someone, somewhere - probably several someones - would be getting some letters from me
So sorry you're dealing with this!
It does sound a bit strange to me since you're just having your baby come and live in your home.
My dh and I attended a meeting about becoming foster parents and were amazed by the long list of things that would be checked during a home study. We would need to make quite a few changes to our home in order to pass - and we have two kids living in our home!
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
Have you checked state law to see if you'd be considered the bio mom? In Ontario, the woman who carries the baby is considered the mother regardless of whether that baby is biologically hers. Biological mothers who use GCs actually have to adopt the child I believe and I know that they are not eligible for the maternity leave portion of our goverment mat leave (17 weeks mat leave for women who deliver babies only and 35 weeks of parental leave that can be taken by either parent).
I'm wondering if your state is similar and that's why you have to undertake a process similar to adoption. Either way, it sucks.
I agree that it is totally stupid!
However, a lot of states consider whoever carries the baby the "mom" even if it is your bio baby. Then you have adopt your child.
My DH is a pedi in Delaware and had this situation happen. He was denied all of his hospital insurance claims because he billed the "bio" mom's insurance, not realizing that she hadn't taken custody yet-or that such a thing existed. IT was a mess!
In most states there's a prebirth order that takes care of who the mother is. It just states that the surrogate knows she's not the mom and gives the bio mom full rights to care for and make decisions for the baby directly after birth.
Regardless, that's ridiculous. Although... not a bad idea if EVERYONE had to do that before having sex, eh? lol okay just kidding.
Mrs.Reems... you hit the nail on the head! And that's what pisses me off here. I need a home study but my ignorant little brother doesn't. He doesn't even have a home!!!!! WTH?
In TX, we just have to file a petition 14 days prior to the embryo transfer to the surrogate for me to have full rights to the child upon birth. We'd be automatically on the birth certificate and no need for adoption or legal hearings after the birth.
I'm going to make some calls tomorrow and fight this on principal. Again.. we'd pass a home study with flying colors. That's not the issue. It's that we have to jump through these unnecessary hoops (in my opinion) when my brother can knock up his girlfriend and no court in TX would say anything about that!
Wow that just makes the home study requirement even more ridiculous. If you are not required to adopt like PP mentioned, then I do not see the reason for the home study. That just doesn't make sense.
Although I will say that I wish everyone who wanted to have a baby be required to get a home study (and psyh evaluation in a lot of cases!). Probably be a lot less Casey Anthonys in the world....
Amen, sister! I really hope it's a waived in most cases type of thing. Some places say it's required and other say "required unless waived." I'm waiting on a return call, so we'll see!