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Northern California Babies
CIO Success for 17 + month olds?
We tried CIO for Charlie when he was younger and it didn't work (we tried for 2 weeks straight). He now not only doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own, he needs a warm body to stay asleep. Without fail, he wakes up every night after 2 hrs and comes to bed with us. Also, he is up 45-60 mins after going down for nap and typically can't go back to sleep. He gets between 0-60 min nap a day (1 nap).
I've tried almost everything, I hate CIO. He cried for 3 hours last night and I gave up and brought him into bed with me. He is so stubborn. Please let me know if you think there is a shot it might work. This is only day 2 and I'm almost ready to give up again but I don't know what the alternative is. I can't co-sleep with him and a newborn, and I can't rock him to sleep when I'm pregnant again. I hate this.
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Re: CIO Success for 17 + month olds?
I have not done CIO for several reason, the first of which is that I know my kid and he does not wind down by crying. He winds up and up and up and can not get himself out of that spiral without help. He has often cried so hard he has made himself throw up. Attempting to force him to do something (cry himself to sleep) he is not developmentally ready to do would not have ended with success (a sleeping child), it would have caused other trouble for him and us (anxiety in him and frustratin for us).
If you think your child might be similar, I wouldn't push it. I'd find other ways to solve your issue.
So you didn't go in at all (unless you heard a sound)?
I think going in makes it worse for Charlie but I am going in at intervals since that is what the ferber method suggests. Its hard to know what to do.
If after a week it doesn't get better, maybe I just won't go in at all..
I honestly do think my child is similar to yours. If I sit in a chair in the room, he will not cry and play in his crib for an hour then fall asleep. I'm fine with doing this now, I'm just worried when we have another baby.
True of my children as well.
Can you try to change your bedtime routine so that there is still parent involvement, but just different? Is your husband involved? When #2 was born, we still had to lay with G to get him to sleep, but it could have been either one of us. and we slowly transitioned from laying with him, to just being in the room, to not being in the room. He was much older though.
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
We tried it for about 2 weeks with M when he had just turned 2 and it didn't work. Even at the end of the 2 weeks he as still crying for 3+ hours every night and would only fall asleep when we came in when he was exaughsted. We had been going in every 15 minutes. He had been a great sleeper. He had learned to go down by himself and sleep through the night. Then after months of good sleep, he just went on a sleep strike. It is not like it once was but it is getting better. Someone on this board pointed out what I had realized was true for him that it wasn't helping him sleep it was just increasing his anxiety level. Now we sit in his room across the room in the rocking chair until he's asleep and he has been waking up around 5ish and then my DH goes in and sits in the chair and M falls back to sleep.
I liked the steps it talked about in No Cry Sleep Solution about getting kids to sleep when he was littler and I think they have a toddler book too. Good luck. Sleep issues suck.
My DD was unable to sleep alone as an infant (for naps or at night) and we co-slept until she was 13 months old. We had to transition her to the crib because she would thrash and wiggle and move so much at night that we were all waking up all night long. It was a nightmare. We tried for weeks and weeks with no success to get her to sleep by herself in her crib-and believe me, we tried EVERYTHING (except CIO). We finally hired a sleep consultant.
She suggested at least trying the interval check in method, and we agreed because we were that desperate. The first night I quickly realized that we couldn't go in and just talk to her and let her hear our voices because that made her go ballistic. Instead, at the intervals I would go in and pick her up and hold her very tightly for about 30 seconds. I didn't rock or shush or walk around, just hugged her very tightly. I would then put her back in bed. The first night she cried on and off for about an hour and the second night it was about 30 minutes and the third night she went to sleep and stayed asleep.
We encouraged her to come into our bed at times other than nighttime...to this day, everyone has their first morning beverage in our big bed and there is lots of playing and cuddling every morning. When she naps at home she always sleeps in our bed, which is totally fine with me. She regressed again at about 22 months and we transitioned her to a toddler bed. At 30 months we transitioned her again to a twin and both transitions went really smoothly.
It's so tough and for whatever it's worth, you are not alone! I hope you find something that works.