November 2011 Moms
MrzHoz
member
Did anyone ask you this?
MrzHoz
member
As we are telling more and more people about our pregnancy. I keep getting this questions over and over again:
"Was it planned?"
At first, I was getting offended, because both MH and I are 31 yrs old, stable life, marriage, careers, etc. so why would it not be planned? I mean we are not 15 years old and in high school.
But now that sooooooooo many people are asking, I am starting to wonder if this is the norm for people to ask this?
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Re: Did anyone ask you this?
Wowza, that's nuts! We haven't had that at all, and I'm 32, and sounds like we're in the same life stage. We did have lots of people say things to us at our wedding like that we should enjoy and just be married for a while, but we had already planned to start trying soon thereafter. It is odd how people feel like they can comment on these very personal parts of your life, though.
We also were pretty open that we were going to start trying, so it was not unexpected. I think some people don't share that information, so the pg announcement can seem to come out of nowhere.
I haven't been asked that yet, but DH and I were pretty vocal about wanting kids. So maybe the people around you didn't know that you and your DH wanted to have kids? Or maybe they're just simply rude.
How have you been answering? I would smile sweetly and say "Yes! Of course!" and if I was feeling snarky I would add "Were you?"
Bizarre! I too have not heard that yet, and I'm 31 and DH is 32. We're probably more worried about not being ready for it than anyone else! LOL. But, like the PP, I was pretty vocal about wanting children....we were planning on waiting a few more months than we did....but bottles of wine and cold weather had a different plan for us.
I agree with the response above with how you should respond. Hehe.
Surprise BFP# 5 - 9/2/16 - Due 5/13/17
I haven't been asked, but I don't really keep any secrets so pretty much everyone knew I wanted a baby. Even my boss. In our salary negotiations when he asked me what I wanted if I could theoretically have everything, and I stated my first priority was good, free health insurance because I want a baby.
I did, however, get the comment that "Wow, you didn't wait long, did you?" This I find hilarious since my hubs and I were married a little over a year when we conceived, had been living together for nearly 5 years, own a home, have great jobs, and I'm 30 and he's 35. How long were we supposed to wait?
It's just weird... bc the first series of these questions came from DH's family ( who are known to have honeymoon conceptions so I don't think see how our news is a shocker for them) and the my friends and some MALE coworkers. Really???
Of course, it was planned, and that's what I tell them, but I find it odd that they would think otherwise, and what they would expect me to say if it wasn't planned..
"Yeah.. we didn't know what we were doing, it was all a big accident" ??????
This lol. I think my whole family has asked. Then when other people find out that I'm pg, they look at DS and go, "How old is he??" He's 18mo but he's small for his age so they seem to think that we had an oops baby since no one could possible want their children that close together right??
I got this question a lot in the beginning but not as much now. It's awkward no matter what. I guess I can understand that if people don't know we were TTC (or as we like to say not not trying) then it would be a surprise. But as a PP said, we weren't telling people we were TTC because we didn't want the added pressure.
Sex = babies!?!? Who knew!? Ha ha.
We have been asked "Is this a good thing?" I think that's kind of the same thing. I guess ours came because we had a m/c in September and people didn't expect us to try so soon again? Who knows...
That seems to be everyone's first question they ask me after "Congrats!" and then they follow it up with something like "I didn't expect you were the baby type!"
Same thing happened to me with a co-worker, and from that perspective I didn't mind. She has been "not not trying" for over a year now and really wants to get pregnant. A few others have asked, for them I'm less understanding but simply answer yes. It was planned, we just are fairly private and didn't feel that people needed to know what we were trying ahead of time. Even with friends and family, it's just not their business...but that's just me!
Yes, many times! It's really annoying.
We have been married for almost 3 years and together for 7. We weren't "trying", but I don't know why anyone would be surprised either way. I don't like to tell people that the baby was a surprise, because I don't want to sound like the baby is unwanted in any way. I wish people would just say congrats and then shut up!
This, exactly! We have lived together for 5 years without getting KU so why would you think this is an accident?
I had a preg. co-worker ask me "how long did you have to try?" I thought this was the rudest question yet. She got preg. "by accident" and has said numerous times how all of her friends have fertility problems so she was sure she would too...ick...
I think what people are fishing for when they ask that question is a little drama to add to your story. People love scandal and want to tell others if it wasn't planned:)