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LIAngel
member
Trying to figure out bedtime routines for a toddler and a newborn
LIAngel
member
Some nights I'm not sure who to do first, Nicholas or Ava. If I'm doing bedtime alone (like when DH works late), I feel like I'm rushing Nicholas in his bath cause usually Ava is screaming or fussing in her bouncy seat. I can't sit and cuddle with him while Ava is in the room wailing. I have tried 3 different scenarios with bath/bedtime and I'm wondering which would work better-
Scenario #1- Give Nicholas his bath really quick while Ava wails (I feel awful that she's crying, but I only have 2 hands). Get Nicholas is in his PJ's and sit with him in the rocker and read a story (or actually recite a book from memory since he usually grabs the book from me anyway) while Ava wails. This doesn't seem fair to either N or A. He's trying to cuddle with Mommy and his baby sister is saying (in her own way) "Hey what about me?! Hello I need attention"
Scenario #2- Do N's quick bath and PJ's. Then give Ava her bath while Nicholas can play in his room. He usually stays in the bathroom with us though and tries to "help". Then take both kids into Ava's room and let Nicholas hang out while I lotion her up and get her diapered/pj's on. Then I bring Nicholas back into his room and put him to bed and then go back to Ava and finish her routine (bottle/book)
Scenario #3- N's quick bath, PJ's and right into the crib. Then do Ava's bath/pjs/bottle/book/bed. Only problem with that is that the bathroom is right outside N's room and he'd hear everything and would probably want to be with us.
I don't want to do Ava's bath first, cause I would like her routine to be straight through (bath/pjs/bottle/book/bed, not bath/pjs/wait 30 minutes while her brother gets his bath/pjs done and then gets put to bed/bottle/book/bed).
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Re: Trying to figure out bedtime routines for a toddler and a newborn
Can you bathe them both at the same time?
Then go in to the nursery, lotion both, dress both, read a book while feeding Ava, put her down, and take NIcholas to his room for his own story, and put him down?
At our house (usually DH) all three kids are bathed at about the same time, and kind of lotioned on the living room floor. He gives Gwen her bottle while the boys watch a show on sprout. When Gwen is done, she goes to bed, the boys get a book, and in bed!
I am either at school, or work most nights, but that is how our bedtime routine goes.
Yes I do. If I am going to skip a bath, it's usually Ava's since Nicholas gets more dirty running around playing outside.
Can't give them a bath at the same time since Nicholas likes to play in the tub (aka splash) and I'm pretty sure he'd startle her without meaning to. But maybe tonight I'll try it (who knows he may be gentle with his little sister if I tell him "no splashing while Sissy is in the tub with you").
What time do they go to bed? I know my DD is younger than yours, but right now she stays up much later than DS. Well, some people would probably tell us that her evening "nap" is really her ready for bed, but it works for us. . .
I give DD a bottle, then get her calm and/or to sleep (nap), then give DS a bath and do his bedtime routine. When DD wakes again for another bottle (3 hours after her first), we get her ready for bed then.
Usually DS's bath is at 6:30 or 7, and we don't put DD down until 9:30 or so.
Nicholas is usually in bed by 8:00. She gets a bottle around that time (so after I put Nicholas in bed, she gets her bottle around 8:15) and then I put her to bed by 9;00 (by the time she finishes the bottle and I make sure she is pretty much asleep before I lay her down since putting her down while drowsy or awake doesn't work).
Ideally I'd like to give her her bath by 7:15/7:30 and have her all done and in bed asleep by 8. Ah well I'll figure something out. It's really only the nights that I'm alone that bedtime is such a pain. When DH is around he's on Nicholas duty for bath/bed and I'm on Ava duty.
My DS goes to sleep at 7ish, and has for a long time. when my DD was your DD's age, I would make sure to feed her during DS's dinner (6-6:30pm), then she usually would take a "nap" in her bouncy seat during DS's bath and bed time routine.
However, there would still be times when she woke up and was screaming during DS's bedtime routine. I would finish DS's bath, then run over and try to give her a paci. If that didn't work, we would leave her for a minute to get DS's clothes on, while she was still yelling. Then I would put DS in his crib and then get DD out of her bouncy seat and try to calm her down. When she was calm, we would put her down, and then read DS his stories and put him to bed. If she was still screaming when I put her down, I would just read DS his stories anyway, and then get back to her. I decided that it was better for both of them to focus on just one at a time.
If it makes you feel better, my DD is probably the happiest baby ever now. She has no idea that I had to just let her cry for a while during DS's bed time! And now, DD goes to bed first - I give her her bath in the kitchen sink while DS is still eating, then feed her a bottle, and put her down to bed. Then I do DS. We are just starting the baths together...but I find that to be VERY challenging to do alone. We only do that when DH is home right now!
Good luck!!
I've tried a million different ways and I think I finally found something that works for us. I've come to learn that the bedtime routine for both kids when DH is gone (4 nights a week) takes at least 2 hours. It really frustrated me at first because I was in the habit of the super easy bedtime routine with one kid but I'm getting better at it and as J gets older it gets easier.
I give both kids a bath together (J only takes a bath every other night). I put H in first and wash her hair. She helps me wash J but it's a pretty quick in and out deal for him since my arms start to hurt pretty quick since I just hold him in the tub. I have his towel, diaper, and pjs ready so H can play while I sit right there and get J in his pjs. He is content to kick and play on the bathroom rug while I finish up with H.
Once she's out of the tub I take J into his room and put him in the swing or on the playmat and close his door. I help H brush her teeth and hair and get her paci and blankie. We go into J's room and say prayer together and if he's in a good mood we read a few books together (if he's crying I just skip the books and take H right to her room so we can read a few books quietly). I put him back in his swing or crib and take H to her room. I read one more book with her while I rock her (about 1/2 the time J is screaming in his room). I put her down for the night and go back into J's room. I nurse him and rock him to sleep.
I hate listening to J cry but I know 10 minutes of crying isn't going to hurt him. I also know I'm not doing it to be mean I just can't care for him at that moment. It's hard not to feel guilty but like I said as he gets older it gets easier and he doesn't cry nearly as much. I remember in the beginning he'd scream the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME I was trying to give dd a bath and get her ready for bed. I'd end up in tears a lot of the time too.
Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
On the nights when I am alone with both kids (prior to DS using a bath seat in the past month), I was doing 2 baths a night. I would put DS in the bouncer while I gave DD a bath. Then take him into the room with us while I get her all ready for bed. Then, I would have DD "help" me with his bath and getting him ready for bed. After that, the 3 of us would go to my bed and snuggle for DS last feeding and reading bedtime books to both kids. When DS was really little, he would fall asleep right after feeding and I would put him down before big sister. Of course there were nights when my daughter didn't get to bed until 8:30 when we try to get her down at 7:45 but oh well! You will find your new routine. And in a few months, they can take baths together and cuddle together for storytime and it will be SO nice
Change is hard, the bedtime routine was the hardest part of the day for us and everything just felt so rushed in those first few months because we were trying to establish routine with DS and keep the routine we had with our toddler too.
I don't have any advice since DH is always home to do the bedtime routine for DS1 while I do DS2's which includes nursing. My first inclination would be to skip your son's bath or have your DH give him a shower the next morning instead.
But DH will be going OOT later this month, so this is good for me to think about now. I think I'll put the baby tub across the bath tub and try to bathe them together. Mine share a room so getting them into their jams together and reading a story together isn't too complicated. The toddler does make this process frustrating though.
I have found that I need to leave the room to nurse the baby because the toddler won't settle while I am in the room. This should be more convenient for you since they each have their own room. After the shared story you can put him to bed then feed her in her own room. I do like pp's idea of giving her her bottle while you read the story, but it might be hard to have enough hands for that if both children are sitting on your lap.