If you didn't do CIO...

sevenonesix · May 2011

If you didn't do CIO (for whatever reason), What worked for you?

Collin is currently screaming bloody murder upstairs... This CIO shiit doesn't WORK for us or him. But I can't seem to find any consistency in HOW he goes to sleep. Once he's asleep he usually (albeit a few times) wakes twice a night which isn't too bad. But some nights I have to rock/hold him until he's DEAD asleep. Some nights I can put him down drowsy (like I did tonight, now he's screaming) and he'll fall asleep him self. Some nights we start off screaming bloody murder, he'll barely eat, and after an hour of crying he'll fall asleep exhausted.

Our routine is the same each night - bath, read a book (or a few), bottle/rocking, sleep.

I know everyone is different, just wanted some input.

weathergirl1122 · May 2011

Is he teething? Cecelia was like that when her teeth were bothering her.

sevenonesix · May 2011

I think he's probably been teething off and on, no bumps, no buds, no white spots. So I have no idea. I hate to give him tylenol just because (as in, I have no idea what's wrong with you so I probably shouldn't drug you) - so we usually don't.

weathergirl1122 · May 2011

If you notice he's drooling a lot more chewing on his fingers and just crabby, I think its safe to say he's probably hurting. If you're uncomfortable about giving him tylenol (we ONLY give her tylenol before bed) try a frozen wash cloth, or even give him ? the advised dose

Ehoff33 · May 2011

We didn't really do "CIO" but there are nights we do let him fuss or cry for like 5 min to see if he falls asleep. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. We don't really have much of a rutine anymore. But we deffinately know when he's ready for bed. Every night sometime between 6-7:30 he gets cranky and just nothing makes him happy so we know it's bedtime. I change him to his night time diaper, pj's get his bottle ready and feed him and rock him. Then put him in his crib with his sea horse and ocean music toy on and his big a fluffy blanket (yes I know it's bad but he won't sleep without it and only did this once he could roll over) then he usually rolls around a little and will fall asleep pretty quick. If not we hear him rolling around and babbling for like 15 min then he's out. The bad nights he will cry and I'll go up 3 or 4 times picking him up, rocking him and putting him back down. Seems like those nights he didn't take good naps and had an "off" day...GL! It's rough and I'm sure a routine would be good for us just doesn't work for us right now.

Haycraz10 · May 2011

We did not CIO. I think that he would have caught on, But I could not do it. Our night time routine is still not perfect (never will be) but it is certianly better.

I take him in the room with his bottle, rock him until its gone. If Ifhes notout by then and he lets me rock him with out fighting me I rock him until hes asleep. As soon as he starts fighting with me to get up, I lay him in his bed and pat his back until he sits up. As soon as he sits up I walk out of his room and say "goodnight". If he cries I let him cry for a min or two go back in lay him down and pat his back/butt.

As long as he is laying down I will pat his butt, and most nights it does not get this far. He learned that as soon as he starts to fight with me, mommy is gone. About 90% of the time now he is 1/2 asleep after his bottle and I lay him in his crib and e goes to sleep.

Not sure if this is your style or if this works with you guys... but I hope you guys find a solution soon!

sevenonesix · May 2011

Haycraz10:
We did not CIO. I think that he would have caught on, But I could not do it. Our night time routine is still not perfect (never will be) but it is certianly better.
I take him in the room with his bottle, rock him until its gone. If Ifhes notout by then and he lets me rock him with out fighting me I rock him until hes asleep. As soon as he starts fighting with me to get up, I lay him in his bed and pat his back until he sits up. As soon as he sits up I walk out of his room and say "goodnight". If he cries I let him cry for a min or two go back in lay him down and pat his back/butt.
As long as he is laying down I will pat his butt, and most nights it does not get this far. He learned that as soon as he starts to fight with me, mommy is gone. About 90% of the time now he is 1/2 asleep after his bottle and I lay him in his crib and e goes to sleep.
Not sure if this is your style or if this works with you guys... but I hope you guys find a solution soon!

You have some good points here. Sometimes I have to fight (literally hold him tight) for him to fall asleep to nap because he's just so wound up and I don't think I'm waiting too long to get him down to sleep.

CIO is just impossible on both of us. We haven't done it but a few times (and tonight was the longest at 28 minutes) and each time whether it be 5 or more minutes he's a MESS and gets worse as time goes on. I'm the kind of mom that doesn't mind hearing him cry but when he gets to the inconsolable stage it tears me apart.

erinkate23 · May 2011

We did not (and still don't) do CIO. DS slept with us. Eventually, he started to sleep on a crib mattress next to our bed, and nowadays he sleeps in his room about half the time. He takes a bath, runs around the house naked (LOL), gets in jammies, then we read a book together. Sometimes he asks for a bottle and we cuddle in the big bed; other nights he waves bye-bye and climbs into his crib mattress.

For a long time, I'd snuggle with him and his bottle in our bed till he fell asleep, then sneak off to hang with hubby. DH didn't like the idea until he realized that it meant sex allllll over the house, lol - and he really loves to snuggle with DS too.

I wouldn't give up those nights with him for anything in the world. My house wasn't as clean, I didn't catch up on my facebooking, reading or TV time. But all those things are still here... and my tiny squishy baby isn't. He's a toddler now, and I can't get that time back. I'm so glad I stopped fighting it, and just went with the flow. He wanted to be held and I want to hold him - it's a pretty perfect combination.

I found that my problem wasn't him, it was my own expectations. I thought babies were "supposed" to sleep, and that I was failing as a parent. When I stopped trying, and just started to roll with it, it just got easier. Sometimes that meant going to bed when he did at 8pm. Sometimes it meant watching a movie at 2am while he babbled. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Staribeth · May 2011

We just switched to a bottle at bedtime instead of me nursing. Lucas was too interested in cuddling and playing and would be distraught when he woke up in the middle of the night without me there. Before that, we were co-sleeping, which worked well except after a while all he wanted to do was nurse so I wasn't getting any rest. I also recently changed the setting on his sound machine and I think it might have helped a bit. CIO wasn't for us either, so I totally feel your pain! Good luck!

sevenonesix · May 2011

erinkate23:
I wouldn't give up those nights with him for anything in the world. My house wasn't as clean, I didn't catch up on my facebooking, reading or TV time. But all those things are still here... and my tiny squishy baby isn't. He's a toddler now, and I can't get that time back. I'm so glad I stopped fighting it, and just went with the flow. He wanted to be held and I want to hold him - it's a pretty perfect combination.
I found that my problem wasn't him, it was my own expectations. I thought babies were "supposed" to sleep, and that I was failing as a parent. When I stopped trying, and just started to roll with it, it just got easier. Sometimes that meant going to bed when he did at 8pm. Sometimes it meant watching a movie at 2am while he babbled. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

This is (mostly) the approach I take. But do you know how many times I'm chastised for it? While that shouldn't matter I haven't quite found a way to defend myself. And yeah, I shouldn't have to... it's just complicated you know?

At first DH was against anything but just letting him cry himself to sleep. He quickly realized, that doesn't work for Collin. He's more on the go-with-the-flow train with me now. I guess I just wish for a bit more consistency? I understand there isn't much of that when it comes to babies, though.

Thank you for putting in perspective for me - we think similarly.

mamaholic · May 2011

I nurse/bottle nurse and rock A to sleep to this day. It works for us and I don't plan on changing that until it stops working.

The rest of our routine is identical to yours. What time are you starting the routine? I know for A that once we get into her room after the bath if for some reason I have to leave her room she gets all worked up and it takes twice as long. So whatever I need I ask DH to gather while I give her a bath.

hopingwaiting · May 2011

Contrary to most sleep advice, we still bounce/rock LO until he's asleep, then put him down oh-so-carefully in the crib. If he wakes up, we replace paci and shhh unless his cries are escalating, in which case we pick him up and re-bounce him until he's asleep. We re-try the whole drowsy but awake thing every few weeks, but so far he's just not ready. He has been going back to sleep without being picked up more frequently as he gets older, so I'm confident that he'll eventually figure out the going to sleep without being bounced/rocked too, just in his own time. Thankfully he doesn't wake up often unless he's sick/teething so this has worked for us. If all nights were like his bad nights, though, we'd probably have to do things differently. GL!

grr_aargh · June 2011

We didn't do CIO w/Elsa.

What we do is this - at night we feed solids, bathe, play for awhile, nurse & read a book, then lay her in bed w/paci. I turn on her music (it plays for 15 minutes). If she lifts her head up/doesn't seem into it, I'll pat her back and even lean over the crib (we still have a dropside) with my hand on her head and my other hand on her back, giving her the impression of my whole body touching her. I'll do that until she relaxes, then leave. If she fusses, I'll wait to go in. If she screams, I'll go right back in and do it over until I leave and she DOESN'T fuss. Most nights this takes 10-15 minutes. Some nights it takes up to an hour. One night it took two, but that was the first night we did it.

It's a lot of work, I won't lie. On a bad night, I feel like I don't ever get to sit down. Blech. But it's worth it to me - she's learning and doing really well.

Jacquiemark · June 2011

We didn't CIO. We still rock Amelia to sleep everynight after she has her last bottle. I also lay her on my chest in the bed with me until she falls asleep. I've tried to put her down when she was a little drowsy but she wakes right up and then stands up and starts banging away at the crib. She wakes up twice a night. The first time she usually ends up rolling into the crib and hits her head. I pick her up and either rock her to sleep right there or bring her in the bed with me. The second time she gets up, I feed her a bottle and she usually falls back asleep in my arms. I put her in the crib when she is completely out, otherwise she will cry. I'm probably not helping her by doing this but it works for us. I'm hoping she'll figure going to sleep on her own, but right now I honestly love the cuddle time before bed.

I am no help.

KelzinBoston · June 2011

I didn't do CIO with either of my boys.

My first was always rocked to sleep (after a bottle). Sometimes I'd be able to put him down drowsy and he'd settle himself, sometimes I had to wait until he was dead asleep. I don't regret doing it this way at all. Like others said, I loved the cuddle time and eventually he figured it all out on his own (when HE was ready). By the time he was 15 months he would ask to be put in his crib after books and cuddles at bedtime and naptime. He is almost 3 now and very stubborn about naps (doesn't always take one, but sometimes he really needs it) and I admit I still will rock with him sometimes so he can sleep in the afternoon. I love it and he's great about putting himself to sleep at night so I don't care if people say I'm babying him.

J nurses to sleep most nights, but if he's still awake after nursing sometimes I will lay him down drowsy and pat his bum and shh shh shh and a lot of the time he will fall asleep...and if not I pick him up and put him back on the boob.

If you didn't do CIO...

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