UGGH why do I hate sex so much... — The Bump
3rd Trimester

UGGH why do I hate sex so much...

I have read many times that most ladies do not enjoy sex during the 3rd tri.(I know some love it) but the last few times my husband and I tried I couldn't be more miserable, and he realizes it. I dont see how it is enjoyable when you feel so big and awkard. Luckily, he handles it well, but I feel like such a miserable b***ch. I am finding it hard to hide that I don't enjoy it. Do I have bigger issues or does this happen?
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Re: UGGH why do I hate sex so much...

  • At least you're trying. I can't even bring myself to do that! 
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  • image +diana82+:
    At least you're trying. I can't even bring myself to do that! 

    Ditto.

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  • Agreed.. good for you that you are trying. Nerve damage in my back and becoming a whale has ended my sex drive :(
  • CBC08CBC08 member
    I'm right there with ya! It's just pretty uncomfortable lately.
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  • anj0409anj0409 member
    I'm right there with you, too. I was on bed and pelvic rest for 9-10  weeks and thought I couldn't wait to be done with it! Little did I realize how much things had changed. My poor FI! He's dealing with it just fine, but I feel bad. The first time we tried after I was released was awful and had to stop, the 2nd and 3rd times were a little better each time, but it's not enjoyable the same as it used to be at least. I just feel bad that it'll be another 10 weeks or so for him until we can actually (Hopefully, with fingers crossed) have an enjoyable sex life again! 20 weeks is a long time!
  • ejs207ejs207
    Second Anniversary
    member
    You don't have bigger issues. We haven't even tried in months. I talked to my mid-wfie about it and she said at least half of her patients admit to having zero sex drive during pregnancy. I am anxious for things to get back to normal but DH has been very understanding in the mean time.
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  • image Bunniehug:

    image +diana82+:
    At least you're trying. I can't even bring myself to do that! 

    Ditto.

    Thritto 

  • the last few weeks, my sex drive has been really low compared to the rest of my pg....but its not just that, it is also my muscles and bones hurting where I can get in the right position...that sucks!
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  • I've loved it throughout my pregnancy, but not any longer. I'm so big and it's pretty uncomfortable.
  • Thanks ladies. I do feel better. I think with us being so limited with positions, movement,etc. it just dosent seem enjoyable. I also look forward to "getting back to normal" after and hope it does get better.
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  • It hurts me pretty badly to have sex. It takes several positions until we can finally get somewhere. Don't feel bad, the main reason I am having sex now is to help soften my cervix :/, MH knows this too and is happy for the excuse. Plus just found out that since I'm wanting to go on mirena we have to wait 8wks to have sex after the baby . .  poor hubby
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  • My problem is finding the time and energy to get going.  Once we are going im fine and enjoy it.  But with us having a DD that is almost 4 yrs old by the time she is in bed im exhausted!  I went through a phase in the 2nd trimester where it was uncomfortable to even do anything but thankfully that stopped.  
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  • I'm right there with you, no sex drive at all. I feel bad for DH even though he is VERY understanding, which just makes me feel worse. So when I do attempt it I make sure there is lots of foreplay, no matter how awkward it is for me, so that when we finally get to it, it doesn't last that long. DH always apologizes and I just say, "It's okay, it's been a while and it will get better after the baby is born and its more regular" but I'm secretly thrilled that it was short-lived!
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  • image +diana82+:
    At least you're trying. I can't even bring myself to do that! 

     

    THIS!!!

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  • Im right there with ya!  Its weird because I have a little bit of a sex drive but the thought of having sex turns me off.  My DH and I did last week and it was awful for me and he could tell.  I am so uncomfortable and my pelvis is unstable right now so i pop and it just plain hurts!  I cant wait for things to return to normal because i miss that close connection with my DH.  I know he is having a tough time because he is very affectionate but he is doing his best to go without.  We tried to do other things yesterday and by the time I was done with him...i was too uncomfortable to do anything else.  I can see it in his face..how sad it makes him that we have lost that closeness.  It is tough but its just another thing u have to deal with when pregnancy.  But I just cant wait to have my body back and for things to return to the way they were with us.  I know that with the baby, things will never be exactly the same.  But even close would be nice!  
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  • Okay, I am not as far along as you so I don't "know" exactly how ya'll are feeling.

    Fat girl tip if it is a body image thing: by a cute baby doll type nighty/gown and just pull the top down and bottom up to cover the midsection if the bump makes you feel un-pretty.

    But how about using toys and doing things other than actual intercourse. (TMI WARNING!!) I love to give my husband a *ahem* helping hand and just watch his face. Then lay back and let him return the favor? Or you can watch each other do your own selves? (and jeeze I am blushing so bad right now!) Hubby and I have also been doing a lot of me lying on my side and him behind me (using a bullet in this position helps with clitoral stimulation).

    Okay....I can't even go on, I am too embarrassed now.Embarrassed

  • Kudos to you for even trying!  I can't even tell you when DH and I had sex last. I have no desire!  I feel big and huge and uncomfortable.  I make sure he is "taken care" of and he tries to return the favor, but I am oftentimes just not in the mood.  I miss the closeness and intimacy, but I am confident it will return after DD is born.  This is my second pregnancy and things were the same during my first.  Just know you're not alone. 
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