Dear ____

Junebug060609 · May 2011

Its been awhile since we did one of these. Feel free to chime in with your own if you'd like.

**************

Dear Neighbor,

Your drum playing and singing really sucks. Please do us a huge favor and walk away from the bongos. You are butchering Alanis and STP and its giving me a headache.

Thanks,

The neighbor who's really temped to yet 'shut up' out the window right now

rvandiver0705 · May 2011

Dear Husband,

The last time you joined a random work sports team I was not amused, and you promised to never join one without talking to me about it again. I am LIVID that you joined a soccer team (you don't even know how to play) without asking if it was ok, and that it takes up three hours of your Tuesday nights every week. I know you want to work out, so just join a f'ing gym here.

Love,

Your basically helpless fatass of a pregnant wife.

P.S. When you injure yourself, like you always seem to do playing sports like this, I will have NO sympathy. I especially will not give you back rubs, since you wont do it for me. Stick out tongue

kbel424 · May 2011

Dear MIL, please stay in NY!!!

Love, Wishful Thinking DIL

MrsAtch · May 2011

Dear DH:

The Sh!t that you have going on right now is not my fault. Stop snapping at me every 5 seconds and then acting like I'm the one that's being a jerk. I'm so sick to death of you jumping down my throat that I could scream. I get that I'm the only one here but that doesn't give you the right to take all of your crap out on me.

Love,

Your irked wife.

P.S. Thanks Junebug... I needed to vent.

jillcanada · May 2011

kbel424:
Dear MIL, please stay in NY!!!
Love, Wishful Thinking DIL

Love it!

Ok, I'll try.

Dear Pool People,

Don't open the outdoor pool on May 31st and then post on the entrance that the lap pool is closed because the temperature is too low. And sorry for the inconvenience? It's 80 degrees. That's 110 to a pregnant lady who just wants to swim!

Love,

No I won't reduce myself to soaking in the kiddie pool just because it's open Jill

ashleyrsotomayor · May 2011

Ha ha ha..love it.

Dear Way to Young to be That Girl's Mom,

Taking your probably 4 year old daughter to see the Hangover 2 because you can't find a babysitter is completely unacceptable. First of all, I am positive she did not enjoy sitting in the theater for 2 hours with a bunch of adults watching things that are very inappropriate for her age and will probably scar her for life or make her a very promiscuous teenager. Secondly, how do you intend on handling all the questions that she is going to have after seeing some of the things in that movie? I am pretty sure that is borderline child abuse. I do believe the theater should have some responsibility and not allow young children into rated R movies, because obviously some parents like you are unable to make responsible adult decisions. Unfortunately the theater doesn't take on the role of parent when people like you fail to do so. When you became a parent, you gave up your freedom and rights to go see a rated R movie whenever you would like. If you didn't want to make such sacrifices, you should have closed your legs. You should have been in Kung Fu Panda, which is probably where your poor child would have rather been.

Sincerely,

Mom-to-Be and Teacher Who is Sick of Poor Parenting

DowagerCountessofNJ · May 2011

Dear AC Guy,

I will love you forever if you can fix the AC tonight.

Aubs13 · May 2011

kbel424:

Dear MIL, please stay in NY!!!

Love, Wishful Thinking DIL

LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!

Dear DH,

I appreciate your willingness to install the car seat and base into my car today, even though your LO is not due for another 34 days. However, seeing as how you REFUSE to read the directions, I think it would be best if we waited until either:
A) You read the freakin' directions. I even pulled them out and opened them for you.
Our car seat installation class in two weeks.
C) We can get to the police station so they can inspect it.
Yes, I can tell that the base looks okay, but I truly believe that Chicco has a better design than one that flings across the seat when we take a turn. So, thank you for your attempt, but I think it would be best to just put the base back into the garage and have it done correctly.

Signed,

Your trying-to-be-patient-but-ready-to-slap-the-sh!t-out-of-you wife

DowagerCountessofNJ · May 2011

Dear Next Door Neighbors,

Thank you for offering to let us hang out in your place tonight. We absolutely love you. I hope we always live next to one other.

Junebug060609 · May 2011

Sgt M's Wife:

Dear AC Guy,

I will love you forever if you can fix the AC tonight.

I hope he can fix it!

jldubb0626 · May 2011

Dear Spock,

You better plan on staying comfy for the next 8.5 months. If you give me a scare at any point during these said 8.5 months, you will be grounded until you graduate. I understand at 18 you won't realize what you've done, but I will and that's all that matters.

Love, Your anxious, excited, going slightly crazy waiting for her Dr.'s appt, Mother.

Dear DH,

I understand that your stressed right now and I completely get where you're coming from, but if you tell me one more time to do something, I will flip sh!t on you. You work 40 hours a week? Good for you. I work 30, plus take summer classes Monday through Friday so I can graduate in August and not have to go in Fall. I don't care that your job is more "demanding" than mine, I'm working basically 2 full time jobs, AND I'm pregnant. I don't care that I'm only 4 weeks. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly hungry/nausous. So a big F you right now and do your own dang laundry.

Love, your hormonal wife who deep down loves you too much to stab you.

MrsAtch · May 2011

jldubb0626:
Dear Spock,
You better plan on staying comfy for the next 8.5 months. If you give me a scare at any point during these said 8.5 months, you will be grounded until you graduate. I understand at 18 you won't realize what you've done, but I will and that's all that matters.
Love, Your anxious, excited, going slightly crazy waiting for her Dr.'s appt, Mother.
Dear DH,
I understand that your stressed right now and I completely get where you're coming from, but if you tell me one more time to do something, I will flip sh!t on you. You work 40 hours a week? Good for you. I work 30, plus take summer classes Monday through Friday so I can graduate in August and not have to go in Fall. I don't care that your job is more "demanding" than mine, I'm working basically 2 full time jobs, AND I'm pregnant. I don't care that I'm only 4 weeks. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly hungry/nausous. So a big F you right now and do your own dang laundry.
Love, your hormonal wife who deep down loves you too much to stab you.

Death is unnecessary. Maiming on the other hand may be appropriate. Love: a wife in a similar boat tonight Smile

ashleyrsotomayor · May 2011

jldubb0626:
Dear Spock,
You better plan on staying comfy for the next 8.5 months. If you give me a scare at any point during these said 8.5 months, you will be grounded until you graduate. I understand at 18 you won't realize what you've done, but I will and that's all that matters.
Love, Your anxious, excited, going slightly crazy waiting for her Dr.'s appt, Mother.
Dear DH,
I understand that your stressed right now and I completely get where you're coming from, but if you tell me one more time to do something, I will flip sh!t on you. You work 40 hours a week? Good for you. I work 30, plus take summer classes Monday through Friday so I can graduate in August and not have to go in Fall. I don't care that your job is more "demanding" than mine, I'm working basically 2 full time jobs, AND I'm pregnant. I don't care that I'm only 4 weeks. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly hungry/nausous. So a big F you right now and do your own dang laundry.
Love, your hormonal wife who deep down loves you too much to stab you.

This is totally off subject, but I must have missed your BFP! I think I remember you from the July 11 board, even though I didn't post there much. I was more of a lurker. Anyways, I am sorry for your loss and HUGE congrats on your BFP!!!! H&H 9 months to you!!!

mundayem · May 2011

Dear Car insurance people,

Can we get a move on giving up whatever we get for the car. I don't feel like driving the stick shift I'm borrowing from my mother, I'm already tired and it's too much work. so can we get this sh!t in gear so we can go get a new car already.

Sincerely,

Very tired pregnant lady who misses her automatic

roadstar · May 2011

Dear DH,

Thank you for cooking dinner tonight.

Your hungry and tired wife

Muffinhb · May 2011

Dear DH,

Thank you for pulling the ticks off the dogs because I could not stomach it, but did you really have to drive the lawn mower through my flowers!?!? Also turn off your damn ticking clock! We dont live in the dark ages anymore and it keeps me up all night long!

Love your tired grumpy puking wife

jldubb0626 · May 2011

MrsAtch:
jldubb0626:
Dear Spock,
You better plan on staying comfy for the next 8.5 months. If you give me a scare at any point during these said 8.5 months, you will be grounded until you graduate. I understand at 18 you won't realize what you've done, but I will and that's all that matters.
Love, Your anxious, excited, going slightly crazy waiting for her Dr.'s appt, Mother.
Dear DH,
I understand that your stressed right now and I completely get where you're coming from, but if you tell me one more time to do something, I will flip sh!t on you. You work 40 hours a week? Good for you. I work 30, plus take summer classes Monday through Friday so I can graduate in August and not have to go in Fall. I don't care that your job is more "demanding" than mine, I'm working basically 2 full time jobs, AND I'm pregnant. I don't care that I'm only 4 weeks. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly hungry/nausous. So a big F you right now and do your own dang laundry.
Love, your hormonal wife who deep down loves you too much to stab you.
Death is unnecessary. Maiming on the other hand may be appropriate. Love: a wife in a similar boat tonight

Stabbing wouldn't = death. He'd be getting off the hook too easily! Glad to know someone else feels the same!

jldubb0626 · May 2011

ashleyrsotomayor:
jldubb0626:
Dear Spock,
You better plan on staying comfy for the next 8.5 months. If you give me a scare at any point during these said 8.5 months, you will be grounded until you graduate. I understand at 18 you won't realize what you've done, but I will and that's all that matters.
Love, Your anxious, excited, going slightly crazy waiting for her Dr.'s appt, Mother.
Dear DH,
I understand that your stressed right now and I completely get where you're coming from, but if you tell me one more time to do something, I will flip sh!t on you. You work 40 hours a week? Good for you. I work 30, plus take summer classes Monday through Friday so I can graduate in August and not have to go in Fall. I don't care that your job is more "demanding" than mine, I'm working basically 2 full time jobs, AND I'm pregnant. I don't care that I'm only 4 weeks. I'm tired, grumpy and constantly hungry/nausous. So a big F you right now and do your own dang laundry.
Love, your hormonal wife who deep down loves you too much to stab you.

This is totally off subject, but I must have missed your BFP! I think I remember you from the July 11 board, even though I didn't post there much. I was more of a lurker. Anyways, I am sorry for your loss and HUGE congrats on your BFP!!!! H&H 9 months to you!!!

Aww thanks! Yes I was a former 7/11er. I remember you also and can't believe how far along you've come! I've been lurking there since my loss and have tried to keep up with those that I can remember.

anonomity · May 2011

Nothing to add, just wanted to say I love reading these! Big Smile

Eris-Alexis · May 2011

Dear Upstairs Neighbor,

I don't understand why you both (male and female) feel the need to wear stripper shoes all day long every day, but I would sincerely appreciate it if you would please take them off when you come home. I am pretty sure that your apartment is not a strip club, so the shoes seem to be unnecessary. They are very loud and are causing me to be unable to nap, which in turn makes me very grouchy.

Thanks,

The exhausted pregnant lady downstairs who is about to start banging on the ceiling with her broom.

erinlovesdavid · May 2011

Dear Mom,

I really appreciate that you took it upon yourself to sew up the rest of the cloth wipes for LO. I would have appreciated it even more, however, if you would have consulted me on the fabric choice. It's not that I don't think LO will "Love Grandma," like the fabric says, it's that I already bought some adorable turtle flannel that I was really looking forward to using.

Love,

Your now turtle-less wipe daughter.

alexa08 · May 2011

Dear Stranger who gave me this cold,

I hope you can't talk for a week cuz I just got over a cold last month and don't want this to be a monthly thing.

And wash you hands and cover your mouth so I don't get you gross germs.

-Unhappy sick preg lady who's IL's are coming to visit soon and needs to clean the house.

PiperS · June 2011

Dear Useless Teacher's Aide,

Please show up on time today and be ready to work. I know it is the end of the year and we are all tired, but school is not over yet!

Thanks,

Frustrated Kindergarten Teacher

StephK86 · June 2011

I'm a little late but super aggravated so I have to get this one out.

Dear Pain in the Ass friends,

Please don't text me and say how you're "thinking of me during this hard time" and then in the next sentence compare my babies death to a "bad day". Try a bad year or lifetime. Or then continue to text me about the girl who pissed you off today over and over. When I ignore you or am short take the hint. I don't feel like talking and I especially don't feel like I should be the one consoling you over something that happened at work. Guess what? Tomorrow you will wake up and your problems will be gone. Mine? They will never, ever go away. Unless by some miracle I find a magic genie and believe me I am not holding my breath on that one. I have enough pain and heart ache to last a lifetime and if you can't understand I don't need to bare the burden of your crap too, the get lost. I don't need any more inconsiderate people in my life then you do.

Thanks,

Your Friend Who Is So Over The Nonsense

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