Family with pet visiting when baby comes home!
So...I'm all for people visiting and staying when the baby comes home. No problems with that whatsoever. I'm very easy-going and know that they are just as excited as we are!!! I love their company as well!
However, my hubby's parents have a dog and bring it on all visits. They will be staying because they live 2.5 hours away. His brother's family has a dog that they bring along as well (but not every visit). Normally, no big deal. I know they are just part of the package. Would it be rude to ask them to leave the dogs at home when we have the baby just coming home? They really can't afford to kennel them. Would it cause hurt feelings that just aren't worth it or is this something that I should insist?
Any thoughts greatly appreciated...I'm struggling with this one!!!
Re: Family with pet visiting when baby comes home!
I would say something. But I'm one of those rare people who do not like dogs at all. Otherwise, I woudl insist the dog stay outside or in a designated room the whole time.
Also, this isn't a job for you. It's one for your DH. He needs to talk to his family members. Are you on the same page as far as this goes?
I am a huge dog person and I love to take my golden retriever on trips. That being said, in this situation, I would not even consider bringing her without asking the new parents! I love dogs, but the can be unpredictable, especially in unframilar settings. Even a happy tail wag can cause desruption.
Before I allowed anyone to bring pets to my house, I did an intro with the baby first on their ground. Example: My BFF has 2 boxers. They are a tad wild and crazy, but all in all, good dogs. I brought DD over to their house and let them sniff her. One of them could care less about her, the other sat beside her seat all night and stood guard. Now, since I know they're both good, the dogs come all the time with my BFF when they come stay. But I did want to test it first.
On the other hand, my uncle has a dog that he brings everytime too. And I couldn't do a test meeting. So I flat out asked him to leave the dog behind, or let it stay somewhere else. He wasn't hurt in the least. Completely understood.
DH was on board at first, but is now thinking it might cause issues. They're small dogs, so I don't see it as a danger to the baby. Which, is why I'm just wondering if I should swallow the issue altogether. I just think with all of the visitors we will probably be having in and out the first week or so, the added chaos/barking is just going to get a bit unnerving.
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Small dogs are just as dangerous... just as long as the dogs don't touch or are alone with baby I would be fine because I am a dog person...
small dogs are dangerous too:
https://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2008/06/even_small_dogs_are_not_safe_around_infants.html
https://www.igorilla.com/gorilla/animal/2001/pomeranian.html
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
They're both good dogs, I just am afraid with all of the barking and yipping and extra visitors that they're going to add chaos to an already crazy time!!! With the money-issue, DH and I feel really bad asking them to board them.
If it were me, I would ask the new parents first, but nothing has been mentioned and the baby is due any day now!!! So, I'm afraid they're just going to think it's business as usual.
That is all the reason you need. If you don't want them there, you don't want them there, end of story. Tell your husband he needs to back you up on this one. This is your home and your baby and you will have enough to deal with besides wondering if the dogs will mess in your house or bark and wake up the baby.
Now this doesn't mean they will never be welcome in your home, just at this time you don't want them there. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I'm a HUGE dog lover and even I would not want them coming over for this particular visit. Perhaps you could tell them to bring a crate and that the dogs would need to be crated most of the time. If the baby is sleeping in his/her room or something, with the door shut, the dogs could come out during that time. But otherwise, crated. If they don't have crates they can probably find one to borrow given enough notice. But that brings up other problems -- what if the dogs bark/whine constantly in their crates? It would be really annoying. Probably better just to leave them home. They should understand. But, if they cannot find free dog-sitting and cannot afford to board them, you should also understand if that means they cannot come.
I also agree that size has no bearing on how the dogs will be around a baby. From what I've read, small ones are worse about biting. Your best indicator of what to expect is how responsively these people have managed their dogs up to this point. Do they keep their eye on them? Do they keep them out of the way? Do they make their dog stop doing something before you even say anything?
Even if the owners and dogs are perfect, I still think I would not want them there. This time.
It's not rude at all. Honestly, as a dog owner, I would never dream of bringing my dog with me to a house where there was a newborn without making sure it was ok first - and my dog is about as laid-back as it gets.
Have your DH explain that you guys would prefer not to have dogs around for the first couple of weeks (or whatever time period you decide on) but you're looking forward to LO growing up around dogs or something like that. That way they don't feel like you think their little furbaby is a vicious attack dog.
If lots of barking and yipping is a given, you have a more generous definition of good dog than I do.
Is boarding really their only choice? They don't have friends who can dog sit?
You will have even less tolerance for chaos then than you realize now.