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December 2010 Moms
IncogNeato
member
WHY DOES SHE HATE SLEEP??!?!
IncogNeato
member
Holy crap! It's been nearly 6 months and I am TIRED of this constant battle. A fight to get her to sleep, a fight to keep her asleep, a fight to get her back to sleep when she decides that 4 am is a logical time to wake up for the day, a fight to get her to nap when she's obviously tired (or perfectly tired, or not tired, or before she's tired.) ARGH!!!! I've read HSHHC and tried everything except CIO. The one or two times I've let her fuss longer than usual she then started to flip out when we would even go near her crib so I don't think it's right for her. I don't know. I might have to if she doesn't snap out of this soon.
As soon as she started to sleep better, she started rolling and we ditched the swaddle. Then she started to wake up every 2 hours instead of 30 minutes but then she got sick. Now she won't sleep anywhere. Not the RnP, not the crib, not the swing. It takes 2-3 hours to get her to sleep and nothing seems to work. Then she's up all the time and wants to be up for good at 3 or 4 am.
I'm going to lose my mind. I was so excited about having the summer off with her but this cranky, fussy, sleepless child is NOT who I planned to spend it with.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy won't she sleep?
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Re: WHY DOES SHE HATE SLEEP??!?!
I'm sorry.
I know CIO sucks but maybe that's what she needs at this point. I did some CIO/modified Ferber with DS first for bedtime then for naps. The first night he cried 45 minutes. I did check-ins about every 5 minutes because he was crying hard, but I just soothed him in his crib, didn't pick him up. The next night it was 30 (check-ins every 7 minutes or so), then 20 (2 check-ins), then after that he maybe cried for 1-2 minutes then fell asleep. Tonight he missed his last nap and was overtired so he'd been crying for about an hour and I went in every 10 minutes or so just to soothe but he did fall asleep. At naps he used to just scream and scream and I'd give in and rock him, then hold him for his whole nap, but now I do the same thing that I did at bedtime and he usually only cries for a couple minutes, if that. I was very adamant about not picking him up or giving in and he started to turn around and get used to just going to sleep in his crib. And you really have to watch the clock because what seems like 10 minutes of crying is usually only like 2. I just had to do something because *I* was getting extremely frustrated, like you are. Plus, DS would cry himself to sleep even if I was holding him so I think it's also just his way of release. We haven't tackled night wakings yet but I'm just grateful to be where we are right now and will work on the rest in time.
Oh, and he still wakes up with big smiles and loves on me so I don't think it's scarred him for life.
GL Mama, I hope she turns around for you soon.
The thing is, we really don't ever pick her up. We give her the paci, turn on the seahorse, shhhhhh, or rub her back but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm not sure I'm ready to just shut the door and do nothing, KWIM?
I knew this would be hard but I had no idea....
Does she sleep on her belly or back? When C started sleeping on his belly he immediately went to 6-8 hours of sleep in a stretch instead of 3-4. Still to this day, if he rolls to his back in his sleep he'll wake up soon after. To get to sleep, C likes his seahorse and Sleep Sheep or Prince Lionheart Bear. Do they actually help him fall asleep or does he just associate them with sleep at this point? I don't know, but it works so I stick with it.
Either way, I'm really sorry she's not sleeping. Nothing makes you feel insane like a baby that won't sleep. I hope you find something that works!
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
She had just started rolling to her belly about two weeks ago. At first it was AWFUL because we ditched the swaddle and she was a mess but she started to at least get back to 3 hour stretches. Then she got croup and a chest cold and now I think she's teething. So I'd like to think it's just a phase, but she'll be teething for a loooooong time so I'm not feeling very optimistic. Right now she's swaddled in the RnP in our room since she's sick and that worked GREAT for two days before she stopped sleeping again. Then we tried the swing which worked GREAT..... for two days before it stopped working. Now I'm out of ideas and just trying to ride it out....
How long do you wait before going in to soothe her, or do you just do all that from the start?
I'm not sure. I'm too tired to remember.
Ha! No, really, It varies. There is no real consistancy because she just keeps changing. First we swaddled, then we unswaddled but she was on her back (huge fail), then she started rolling onto her belly.... every week is different so our responses have changed too. She used to go down right away and sleep for 5 hours, then we ditched the swaddle and she fought sleep, then we moved up her bedtime and she went right down, then she started fighting it again. I would say usually we go up every 5-7 minutes and occasionally we've tried to resist going in for longer like 10-15 minutes if she's fussing but not really crying. Last night I tried to let her fuss/cry (no tears, but she wasn't happy) for 10 minutes but she jut got more upset and I felt awful since she still isn't feeling great so I gave up on that until she's all better. I'm hoping when she's better and maybe this tooth has come through that she will magically start sleeping. A girl can dream, right? I feel like we're doing it all wrong because we don't have a plan but I can't seem to come up with a plan, either. I know Weissbluth says to go for extinction/CIO but I think I would just cave and then I will have taught her that pitching a fit will bring mommy back which is NOT the lesson I want her to learn.
Ok, I should try to go to bed now before she wakes up AGAIN but I'll definitely check this post again in the morning (or at 1am, 3am, 5am.... when I wake up.)
Poor baby! Being sick just ruins their sleep. Charlie went from sleeping well in his crib to having to sleep in his bouncer seat for two months while he was sick. I hope she feels better soon!!
In all seriousness, make sure you're getting quiet time for you. A sick, teething, cranky baby can drain the soul right outta you. Make sure you're getting enough time to recharge. When C was sick and things were crazy, sometimes I would literally have to put him down and go stand in my bathroom for a minute or two just to get a moment of true peace. Saved my sanity.
It won't last forever even though it feels like it might. Hang in there!!
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Hugs to you - that sounds just crazy. We're doing controlled CIO and it was horrible the first night and still tough the second night (which is tonight).
If you think it's pain from teething, have you tried some Tylenol before bed? I'm sure you don't want to dose up your child before bed every night, but it might take the edge off so everyone can get some sleep for a night.
More hugs!!
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
FWIW, Nora was the same way, and I finally realized was that she needed us to LEAVE HER ALONE to sleep. We did CIO, and it worked like a charm. It was hard the first night, but it was so worth it, and totally what she needed to sleep better. Some babies just get more worked up if you go in and try to comfort them.
I'm sorry, I know this sucks.
Hope you get some sleep soon.
We are in EXACTLY the same boat. Getting her to go to sleep every evening is a 1-2 hour affair, every night, and it is utterly exhausting. I keep hoping that the sleeping issues will resolve over time, or at least taper off a little or get a tiny bit better, but we haven't seen it yet. I don't know what to do.
we were in your shoes a few weeks ago. and were initially not wanting to do any sort of cry it out. and then we realized that we werent soothing him..he would cry if he was held or not...and sometimes harder/longer when we were trying to help him. we were all exhausted. one night DH was frustrated and put him down for 5 minutes and he fell asleep. this didnt work for naps but we then knew he could wind down himself. we did a combo of methods that the girl lists in this post.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/52801749.aspx
we did this mostly to focus on naps. it worked in about a week for naps. but night sleep improved immediately.