Baby Shower Frustrations — The Bump
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Baby Shower Frustrations

I am trying my hardest to throw a baby shower for one of my BFFs from college. I love her to death, but she is a procrastinator. She is dragging her feet BIG TIME and it's driving me nuts!

The shower is supposed to be in less than 3 weeks, but she hasn't given me a guest list or even registered yet. She's almost 32 weeks, so it's not like it's too early to get moving on these things. This is their first child and they just got married almost 2 months ago (can we say oops!), so I know they need stuff. If I could, I'd just push the shower off a few more weeks, but because of vacations and other summer plans, this is the absolute last date I could do it before she's due.

Any advice on how to get her moving without being completely rude? I've already talked to her on the phone and sent her several reminder emails. I really want to throw this for her, but it's going to be too late to send out invites soon! Ugh...so frustrated!!

Re: Baby Shower Frustrations

  • I just went through this exact situation.  It even got to the point that I told myself that if she had not sent me the guest list by a certain date, I was going to tell her that I would not be able to give the shower.  Finally, after several emails/texts, she got the point.  I just had to say, please send me the list ASAP, we have to give ample time to the guests, etc...  Good luck.   I know how frustrating this is.
  • Honestly, I think you're going to have to be more pushy at this point.  3 weeks is already 1 week less notice than I think is considerate to give (4 weeks notice for a baby shower, bridal shower, birthday party, etc.).  I would tell her you need the names/address by tomorrow or you won't be able to throw her the party.  Even now, by the time you get the invites out and they receive them, you're looking at only a 2 week notice for invitees -- many people may already have plans for two weeks out (especially with it now being summer time).  Good luck!
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  • Could it be that she does not want to have a shower? Not giving you the info, and not even registering seems strange if you've told her your plans for her. Maybe she is self-conciseness about the fact she was pregnant before getting married. I don't think you can force someone into giving you the information if they don't want to. I would think that anywhere at/past the two week mark would be too late to get invites out.

    Has she ever come out and said, yes I want you to throw me a shower, etc? I probably would give it one more shot and if I didn't get a response I'd move on. Maybe do something for her after the baby comes. It doesn't seem like she is all that interested.

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  • If I were in your shoes and I had already emailed and called her about it, then I would just drop it and go with the flow.  If she waits another week or more to get you the addresses then I would just tell her that the only way to invite everyone is through e-vite.  Or just go ahead and ask for e-mail addresses now since it might take a while to get them anyways.  Which might not be your first choice, but at least it'd get the word out. 

    If she's normally a procrastinator or really laid back then I probably wouldn't take it too personal, but if not, I would wonder what the deal is.

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  • Thanks for your thoughts! She is just a HUGE procrastinator. The day of her wedding, while all the bridesmaids were getting ready she was still burning music for the ceremony and wouldn't accept any help. I'm pretty sure she tried to give us all a heart attack! Anyway, I received her guest list this morning, so I'll be addressing invitations tonight.

    She still hasn't registered, but she plans to register at BRU (I'm not sure when though!). So now I'm not sure whether to put a line about her registry on there or just skip it all together.

  • I think most people will check places like target or babiesrus or if they cant think of where she might be resigstered they might ask you when they rsvp so i wouldn't worry about putting the registry info on there. glad she got her list to you today so u can get the invites out!
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