A Close Friend's Pregnancy
Oatoa
member
This weekend, a close friend of mine and his wife announced that they are pg and that she is due in November. She has the cutest little bump already and they are over the moon. I am truly happy for them. They are two of the most wonderful people I know.
But inside, a cloud over my joy for them was this feeling of jealousy and fear. We didn't tell them about the m/c back in November b/c she is a hypochondriac and she would drive him crazy with her worry. All I could think of is if we m/c again, how will I watch their glorious stress free pregnancy? Why does it seem like everyone else gets pregnant so easliy and we've had to work so hard at it? Why can't I be smiley and glowing rather than anxious and worried?
I knew this announcement was coming soon b/c she had told me they would start trying in the new year. I'm happy things are going well for them, truly. But I thought if I were pregnant the jealousy I felt for others when I was TTCAL would go away. Does anyone else feel this way?
BFP #1 9-22-10 Missed M/c 10-18-10 D&E 10-28-10
BFP #2 5-9-11 EDD 1-12-12 Audrey Rachel born 1-12-12
BFP #3 9-21-13 EDD 5-30-14
Re: A Close Friend's Pregnancy
I dont' really have any advice for you since I'm still TTCAL and struggle with pregnancy announcements. I just wanted to say that the fear is normal. After my second BFP and my friend announced her pregnancy, I knew it wouldn't end well for one of us and for some reason I knew it would be me. It just sucks.
Also, loving the ticker!
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
My Blog: The Canadian Housewife PGAL/PAL Welcome My Chart
I completely understand where you are coming from! I found out a close friend was pregnant 1 week before I found out I was pregnant again. It was absolutly exhausting acting excited for her and talking about it all the time. She had started announcing right when she found out herself, at about 6 weeks, all I could think was that I was happy for her but that she was so naive to think that everything will be ok just because of a positive preg test.
Now all she ever wants to do is talk about how exciting it is that we are both pregnant and everything that goes along with planning and appointments and everything. I have to put on the excited face constantly around her. I am constantly worried that I will miscarry again as I'm coming up to the point I miscarried last time. I'm happy that she's excited but I'm so worried that I will have another loss and have to watch her continue to be happy.
So know that you're not alone in your feelings. It's hard when you know it's supposed to be a happy time, but it brings back a lot of the sadness.
BFP #2 March 2011, Baby Girl born November 2011!!!
I totally understand how you feel. A couple months ago, good friends of ours announced they were expecting in November- EDD jut a few days before ours. Even though I was pg again and everything seemed to be going well, I broke down crying. I had the same thoughts as you: Why is it so easy for them? Why do they get to be so carefree? What if I have another loss and they have a healthy LO?
You can be happy for others and still have a hard time dealing with it at the same time.
BFP #1 6.17.10 - natural M/C 5w2d
BFP #2 8.4.10 - missed M/C, D&C 8w
BFP #3 1.18.11 - natural M/C 5w1d
BFP #4 5.6.11 - 13dpo: hcg 68, p 16.3; 16dpo: hcg 211,
p16.6; 18dpo: hcg 416, p 15.6; 25dpo: hcg 6,007
DS born 1/30/12
BFP #5 4.28.13 - LO due 1/4/14
BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
I have a SIL that is 5 weeks behind me. I'm happy for them, and I'm happy things are going well with the pregnancy. I will confess though that along with gushing with happiness at the prospect of another niece/nephew, my initial reaction (to myself, of course) also included my being sooo thankful I'd gotten this BFP before theirs and many prayers that LO continued to stick as it would be hard beyond words to have a second loss while they wen't on with a healthy pregnancy.
Thankfully SIL didn't shout it from the rooftops about her pregnancy before the pee stick was dry. Honestly, she's handling her pg like a PgAL'er which has me wondering if there may've been a loss prior to this (she never brought it up when I told her about mine, so I guess not...but I still wonder).
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
My Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
I think what you are feeling is normal. I haven't been in that position yet myself, but I think I would feel very much the way you are feeling if I were.
((Big HUGS)). Just keep reminding yourself that today you are pregnant and you love your baby.
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
I think it goes away with time, but it may never go away completely. I am honestly jealous of people who just get pregnant and stay pregnant with no worries. Boy gender reveals also feel like knifes in my heart.
Don't feel bad about any of these feelings; they are completely normal and part of the healing process.