Can I vent? (long)

Twinkz · May 2011

DS's crying fits are only becoming more frequent, during the day it usually ends up being half the day. I'd give anything to have a happy baby. I get so annoyed when people ask me if he's a happy baby. I know people want me to say yes. I don't like to lie but I know people don't want the truth. If I tell people that he's not a happy baby, not an easy baby, that I spend most of my days trying to keep him semi-calm at the minimum, people tend to give me uncomfortable looks. As if I must be a horrible mother to think these things about my child. Or that I'm just being silly and he isn't really that bad. When we visit with family I'm almost embarassed, DH and I are the only ones who can calm him down so he can't even really be held by others unless he's asleep or they want him to cry at them. My dad was so excited and kept telling everyone yesterday at a bbq that he was able to hold DS for almost a half an hour.

The pedi said at our last appointment (2 weeks ago) that if he isn't improving we'll do a barium study to check for pyloric stenosis so I know the situation isn't hopeless but I feel hopeless. I feel like my sanity is fleating. It's starting to wear me down, causing strain in our marriage, and make me never want another child again.

I tell myself daily that it'll get better. It's my life mantra. I live by it. It will get better.

hispenguin · May 2011

I'm sorry

I don't really have any advice, but know that you are free to vent here anytime. Honesty is welcome

Beccaboo0713 · May 2011

I am not going to tell you it will get better because I HATE when people tell me that. Screw it getting better, I might be dead tomorrow I want it good now.

Here is what I can tell you, my DS was an *** of a baby (gasp), now granted it wasn't his fault but...

First, his birth was horrible. He was sunny side up and stuck in the birth canal for almost 3 hours and I pushed through it without an epi because the stupid thing was placed wrong and numbed my neck and not my vagina. He was premature and in the NICU for almost three week so I totally missed that new bonding experience, he had reflux, colic, HORRIBLE painful skin allergies, he was allergic to my dog and couldn't breathe very well so we had to get rid of my little doggie , he had a blocked tear duct that he was always rubbing at and scratching himself on the eye...the list is ridiculous and not even complete. Needless to say he cried all the frickin' time. To add to that he didn't STTN until he was 18 months old.

However, at 6-7 months his inconsolable crying mostly disappeared. He was happier. So much so that we went from being one and done to trying for another baby.

DD is a happier baby but she can make me pull my hair out sometimes too (but I think it's mainly from having 2u2).

And I understand about making people feel uncomfortable with honest answers. People would ask me about DS and I would tell them "well, now I know why rats eat their babies". Haha.

Some babies are just ridiculously HARD and people with easy babies will never understand that.

I just want you to know that I don't think you are a bad momma and you are not alone. Hang in there!

Twinkz · May 2011

Thanks Becca! I try to not think I'm a bad mom but sometimes it's so hard to not wish I had a different, happier baby...

MissYouDietCoke · May 2011

Twinkz:
I feel like my sanity is fleating. It's starting to wear me down, causing strain in our marriage, and make me never want another child again.
I tell myself daily that it'll get better. It's my life mantra. I live by it. It will get better.

I completely and 100% know and understand this feeling. Just repeat I am not a bad mother, I am not a bad mother, I am not a bad mother. over and over.

Also, feel free to vent anytime.

stahlop · May 2011

When people ask me if I have a good baby I say "Yes, unless he's awake" :P

Kissimi21 · May 2011

Don't feel bad about the look people give you when you are honest, too bad for them if they can't handle the truth. It's like asking someone, "How are you?" Most people expect, "Fine, thanks," or "Good, how are you?" No one wants to hear that you've got wicked cramps, your boss is being a *** and your dog pooped on the rug. (FYI, full honesty is a great way to keep telemarketers from calling.)

It will get better. My friend's DD was a screecher. Not a crier, but full on screeching all the time. It took almost a year for her to settle down and now she's a sweetheart. Some babies are just harder than others.

hyperangel_8509 · May 2011

Hang in there hun! I don't have much advice other than venting on here if it helps

myst33 · May 2011

awww..I know you're not a bad momma! I hope this phase passes quickly for you with lots of happier times ahead.

KNINHAM · June 2011

Is he breast or bottle fed? My 3 year old did this and here she was lactose intolerant and when I switched her to soy she was fine. I had to stop BF her because of this. The Dr. never caught it and kept saying she was collic but I knew her and thought it was something else. DH bought the wrong formula (he bought soy) and all of sudden she was better, that is how we figured it out. So then I felt awful because the whole time I just kept her nursing, when she needed soy. I hope something helps I know how frustrating it can be.

Twinkz · June 2011

He's breastfed. We thought it could be lactose so I cut it out for 2 weeks and replaced all dairy with rice since some children also have soy problems. I was vegan for a while so it was easy for me to do. Made absolutely no difference.

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