I feel like a bad friend.

cookie_queen · May 2011

Let me preface this with I am happy for her. She had a m/c at 5 weeks in Jan and they have been TTC since last june.

At my girls weekend, my BFF announced that she was 11 weeks pg. I'm miffed for a few reasons.

1. No advance warning. We were sitting in a bar at a table with all 14 girls.

2. About a month ago we were chatting on the phone and she mentioned she'd be setting up an RE appt for June if they weren't pg before then. I have been really open about our journey the whole time but during that convo I told her things I hadn't shared with any friends and tried to give her some starting points questions. Turns out she was already pg. I feel like my confidence was betrayed.

3. This is the worst but I was kind of happy when it looked like they were going to need to see an RE too. Not that I would wish this on anyone I was just happy that someone in my close group of girlfriends would really understand some of my journey.

No real point to this. I just needed to get it out.

madelyn07 · May 2011

(((hugs)))

I completely understand exactly what you are saying and I'd feel the same way.

Edwina.McDunnough · May 2011

#1 is annoying

#2 is tacky

#3 been there

HUGS Cookie. You're not a bad friend, you're a human being who's been through a lot of crud. You are totally entitled to feel all these things, and you're a GREAT friend for keeping your cool about it.

More HUGS.

Temp590840000005378 · May 2011

You are NOT a bad friend and can completely see why you would be miffed, especially since you have confided in her about all of your struggles. She should have warned you in private that she was going to tell everyone at the bar, totally lame! ((HUGS))

jlcrane78 · May 2011

cookie_queen:
2. About a month ago we were chatting on the phone and she mentioned she'd be setting up an RE appt for June if they weren't pg before then. I have been really open about our journey the whole time but during that convo I told her things I hadn't shared with any friends and tried to give her some starting points questions. Turns out she was already pg. I feel like my confidence was betrayed.

I had a HUGE issue with this and one of my friends. She said to me "maybe we are having difficulties too" and announced her pregnancy shortly after. I was livid. It stings, and you are not a bad friend at all for feeling hurt by her betrayal. Not cool to put yourself in the same category as someone, all the while knowing that you are not.

labbylover03 · May 2011

You have every right to be annoyed. I can't believe she let you go on about seeing the RE and your troubles...all while knowing she was pregnant! And then to not even give you a warning before announcing to the entire group, that's just wrong of her. ((hugs))

orange1414 · May 2011

((hugs)) you're not a bad friend. I would have felt blind sided too.

theworms · May 2011

madelyn07:
(((hugs)))

I completely understand exactly what you are saying and I'd feel the same way.

ditto

more ((HUGS))

mdluv21 · May 2011

I would have felt/feel the same exact way. I think that is crummy she said she was going to need to go see a RE when she was already KU. Did she know she was pregnant?

I don't think that makes you a bad friend. It harder seeing others get what you have wanted (and were so close to getting) for a very long time. ((hugs))

vanessagorc · May 2011

Edwina.McDunnough:

#1 is annoying

#2 is tacky

#3 been there

HUGS Cookie. You're not a bad friend, you're a human being who's been through a lot of crud. You are totally entitled to feel all these things, and you're a GREAT friend for keeping your cool about it.

More HUGS.

ditto E. And as to the bolded. I'd be PISSED about that one.

HUGE HUGS cookie. You are a great friend.

etoyama · May 2011

Big (((HUGS))). You are not a bad friend. Anyone in your situation would feel the same way. I think SHE'S the bad friend.

scooterq · May 2011

I would be so pissed about #2. Did she not know she was pregnant??

And ((hugs)) sweetie! You are definitely not a bad friend!

WillisReincarnated · May 2011

That is so not cool. I'm really sorry. I'd point blank ask her about #2. Perhaps she didn't know she was pregnant until she was further along? Bleeding scare? I dunno, but I wouldn't be able to let it slide. That's probably not the healthy / right thing to do, but so be it.

apaige25 · May 2011

She shouldn't have said #2 when she already knew she was pg. You have every right to be upset about this.

(((hugs)))

newsbaby · May 2011

You most certainly are not the bad friend. She is. Hugs!

emca · May 2011

I completely understand! I am sorry you had to go through that. :-(

MBfromBMC · June 2011

I think #2 is what hurts the most...

(((hugs)))

DeputiesWife · June 2011

jlcrane78:
cookie_queen:
2. About a month ago we were chatting on the phone and she mentioned she'd be setting up an RE appt for June if they weren't pg before then. I have been really open about our journey the whole time but during that convo I told her things I hadn't shared with any friends and tried to give her some starting points questions. Turns out she was already pg. I feel like my confidence was betrayed.
I had a HUGE issue with this and one of my friends. She said to me "maybe we are having difficulties too" and announced her pregnancy shortly after. I was livid. It stings, and you are not a bad friend at all for feeling hurt by her betrayal. Not cool to put yourself in the same category as someone, all the while knowing that you are not.

just happened tome as well.

::hugs, cookie::

Want a personalized experience?

I feel like a bad friend.

Re: I feel like a bad friend.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards