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Mother-in-Law and registry

katebailskatebails
in 2nd Trimester

I checked my email this morning to find a detailed list from my MIL tearing apart my registry...she thinks a changing table is dangerous, she doesn't like my bedding/color theme (chocolate brown and light pink from restoration hardware...cute!), she thinks we should do another brand of carseat, etc etc etc! I spent an awful lot of time researching the best and safest brands, how do I tell her to back off and that her input is definitely not appreciated. Background - she has serious issues letting go of her only baby boy - my husband would be the one to tell her to back off but i'm afraid he would be super harsh...but maybe thats what she needs? This is the same woman who when i ordered a coke at lunch spent a half hour sighing in disgust! my pregnancy hormones can not handle her!

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Re: Mother-in-Law and registry

  • lailak42lailak42
    I'd tell her what you just said:  thanks for the input, but we've researched the best and safest brands and are confident in our choices.
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  • copwife08copwife08

    I would let DH take care of it. I don't speak to my step-MIL for almost the exact reason (her being a PITA about everything).

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  • Ima49erIma49er member
    Hit Delete and ignore her. It's none of her business.
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  • TheJohnsTheJohns

    imagelailak42:
    I'd tell her what you just said:  thanks for the input, but we've researched the best and safest brands and are confident in our choices.

    i agree. or can you just ignore the email... pretend you didnt get it?

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  • Mike&RaeMike&Rae
    I agree. I would tell her no thanks and if that doesn't work, let DH talk to her. :) Also, I read this in one of my books and I plan on using it on my own MIL who asks a TON of questions about everything. "Our doctor advised us to do it this way" Good luck!
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  • MrsL.inMarchMrsL.inMarch
    Frankly, I would ignore her is DH doesn't want to handle it. You didn't ask for opinions.
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  • jskelly15jskelly15

    imagelailak42:
    I'd tell her what you just said:  thanks for the input, but we've researched the best and safest brands and are confident in our choices.

    I agree. 

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  • me&mymonkeyme&mymonkey
    I would probably try to have my DH deal with his mother if it were me, but I don't have a close relationship with my MIL.  I agree with the above posters, tell her that while you appreciate her advice and her concern that you and DH have researched the best products for your child when making your decision.  Good luck.
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  • erbearerbear member
    I would not even discuss it with her. Delete the email; if she brings it up, smile and say, "thanks, we've already decided." If it becomes a big issue, your DH might have to man up and say "hey mom, back off."
    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
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  • Mjmksb04Mjmksb04 member
    I would just click delete and go on with my day Angel
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    DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
    DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
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  • QuazelQuazel member

    imagelailak42:
    I'd tell her what you just said:  thanks for the input, but we've researched the best and safest brands and are confident in our choices.

    I agree this is the thing to do.

    I would NOT ignore her.  You need to set boundaries now or it will only get worse.  My MIL started fairly early on in my relationship with DH and I quickly discovered saying things like "This is what DH and I decided and it is not open for discussion" or "Thank you for your input, we will let you know what we decide is best for us"  went a really long way in her and I having a really good relationship.  You can't let her push you around and you can't be afraid to speak your mind.  Think about what she will be like once the baby is here.  Wouldn't you rather deal with it now than when she is telling you everything you are doing with/for the baby is wrong?

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  • katebailskatebails

    Thanks ladies!!! I feel better just venting to you. :) I am going to take your advice and delete the email. If it comes up again then I will have DH say "thanks but we did our research" and then a "back off" if she won't let it go.

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  • tdc_c/o97tdc_c/o97

    i don't have this problem but when i get unsolicited advice i always say "mmmm... i'll look into that."  and then i just go with what i researched.  it seems to work without causing conflict.

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