Let's talk about anxiety. (longish)

Iove.wins · May 2011

Pre-PG I had a touch (okay, it's pretty bad...) of social anxiety, and I tend to have a hard time with anxiety in general. I didn't really realize it until right before BFP, which threw off any real treatment options save working on how I think about social situations and basically trying to reprogram self-destructive patterns of thinking.

It's been manageable for the most part until recently. H is being transferred 45 minutes in the opposite direction of where he works now, which makes him 1.5 - 2 hours away from the hospital where I'll deliver. He also has the potential of being relocated before the baby gets here, which makes things complicated since we have a mortgage (although there's a strong probability we already have someone lined up to rent if we need to get out quick).

I try focusing on the positive (we've wanted to relocate for a while, H's success in his job, the fact that I'll be able to be a PT SAHM if he gets the promotion, etc) but it generally doesn't help. It's triggered some of my social anxiety issues, which has gotten to the point that I basically only want to go to work and come home and H has to practically drag me out of the house because he likes to keep an active social calendar.

I haven't been sleeping well and every day since Thursday I've been hit with a round of anxiety that doesn't really have foundation in anything (on top of anxiety about H's situation) and once it happens I can't really pull myself out of it.

So I guess my question is... Does anyone else have this problem? How do you manage it?

kermiefrg · May 2011

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Have you ever seen a doctor or therapist? I had some bad anxiety and depression issues last year and went on Zoloft. It's been a huge lifesaver and I can honestly say I haven't felt this good in over 10 years. It's one of the safer drugs while PG also. If you're not into meds, maybe you could at least try a therapist to talk things out and discuss coping strategies.

jess!ca · May 2011

I struggle with anxiety too. I went off all my meds before TTC but I keep going to see a therapist. It's really helpful. You have a person who is unconnected to you to give you advice and help you look for perspective and manage things. They have some good strategies about managing anxiety. It's worth a shot! I also like that when you talk about your fears and anxieties, it tends to diminish them a little (at least for me) because they are no longer a "secret" that you carry around by yourself. Shining a light on them helps. I also find that at night when I can't sleep, if I listen to a book on my iPod it helps me stop thinking about the things I worry about and distracts me so I can get some sleep. I also find yoga relaxing and that is safe in pregnancy. I found a good prenatal yoga DVD at target for like $10.

Matt Dvorak · May 2011

I definitely agree with talking to people about your anxiety - it's amazing how many people are dealing with the same thing, and I think talking about it makes a huge difference. Anxiety runs high in my family - lots of people have seen therapists and/or are on medications. I personally wouldn't start a medication during pregnancy - I know that for my mom while she adjusted to her meds she got worse before she got better. I haven't experienced anxiety as bad as others, and mine is always situational - so I experienced high anxiety during graduate school or when work deadlines are tight. My ways of dealing with it are to take walks/exercise, read books (light, chick lit is good!), and to remind myself that in the scheme of things, whatever it is that is bothering me is really no big deal. For social anxiety, I think being able to tell yourself that other people are not as focused on you as you think is a good thing to remind yourself.

Karen1998 · May 2011

I agree with seeing a therapist. My sister has major anxiety issues and therapy helps her. She had good success with biofeedback and cognitive behavioral therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a specific type of therapy so you'll need to ask to make sure the therapist you're choosing practices this type of therapy. It focuses on behavior and changing that behavior, rather than just discussing your feelings. The therapist can also recommend you to a psychiatrist to evaluate whether medication will be helpful to you.

chottomotto · May 2011

I have social anxiety/phobia too, but it's a lot better since I took a job in sales & customer service. It hit all my biggest triggers: money & numbers since I used to have dyslexia, cold calls, strangers, and male authority figures. Now I can work anywhere. And I can finally order pizza! Sad that that's my idea of an accomplishment lol.

Oddly enough, I'm very outgoing and make friends easily, I just let one (often imagined) faux pas completely paralyze my friendships. Like if I forget someone's birthday, instead of sending a belated card, I will freak out about the person hating me and not wanting to waste their time on a bad friend like me. It's totally stupid, but that's what a phobia is.

I talked to a counselor about it in college, and she said that as long as it isn't diminishing your quality of life, you are managing it. If it is keeping you in your home like a hermit, or unable to make lasting connections with other people, you need some kind of treatment. (Since medication doesn't work on me, my treatment was getting that job, investing in my friendships so that they don't fall to the wayside, and exercising -- running, swimming, and yoga)

With a baby on the way, I would recommend seeing a counselor soon. They will be more effective and efficient treating you than if you tried to go it alone. For now, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Good luck and let us know how you're doing, ok?

stellahav · May 2011

Ditto everybody else. Talk to your dr before baby's arrival and get in to see a therapist asap. If you need meds, take them. My H discovered he has an anxiety problem that triggers other medical issues. Unfortunately, he discovered this right when DD was born. He was basically useless for the first 3 months until he got the problem figured out. Once he got on meds, it was like he was a completely different person. Better to have this figured out now rather than wait and have it turn into full-blown PPD.

Iove.wins · May 2011

Thanks for the input, everybody. It's oddly comforting to know that I'm not the only person dealing with this. It SUCKS! I work in a religious setting and we have a counselor on site, so I'm going to make an appointment with him to work some of this out.

chottomotto:
I have social anxiety/phobia too, but it's a lot better since I took a job in sales & customer service. It hit all my biggest triggers: money & numbers since I used to have dyslexia, cold calls, strangers, and male authority figures. Now I can work anywhere. And I can finally order pizza! Sad that that's my idea of an accomplishment lol.
Oddly enough, I'm very outgoing and make friends easily, I just let one (often imagined) faux pas completely paralyze my friendships. Like if I forget someone's birthday, instead of sending a belated card, I will freak out about the person hating me and not wanting to waste their time on a bad friend like me. It's totally stupid, but that's what a phobia is.
I talked to a counselor about it in college, and she said that as long as it isn't diminishing your quality of life, you are managing it. If it is keeping you in your home like a hermit, or unable to make lasting connections with other people, you need some kind of treatment. (Since medication doesn't work on me, my treatment was getting that job, investing in my friendships so that they don't fall to the wayside, and exercising -- running, swimming, and yoga)
With a baby on the way, I would recommend seeing a counselor soon. They will be more effective and efficient treating you than if you tried to go it alone. For now, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Good luck and let us know how you're doing, ok?

I can relate to pretty much everything you just said, especially the bolded part -- like I can relate to that 100%. If I have to back out of plans with a friend because I'm sick or something comes up, I feel exactly like you describe. And if they actually act mad, it totally crushes me.

I have a problem with talking on the phone too, lol.

nhinze01 · May 2011

My doctor diagnosised me with situational anxiety. It pretty much means that I'm usually cruising through life without much problems, and then something changes(it can be as small as DH switching shifts) and it throws me into complete chaos. Lately it's been hitting me hard, especially at night time when DH is working 3rd shift. I swear I hear sounds, check on DS constantly and what not. I stopped my anti-anxiety medicene when we were TTC. My doctor prescribed me Ambein awhile ago to help me sleep. I've found that my anxiety is much worse at night, but if I take one they help me sleep. I feel like everything is easier to cope with when you get a good nights sleep.

lovely40 · May 2011

You've gotten some great advice already on this thread but I also wanted to add that as someone who struggles with anxiety, you are at a higher risk for developing postpartum anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety (social and general) all my life but nothing compared to what I experienced after DD was born. I knew it could happen but hoped it wouldn't. I wished I had been more prepared - I could have gotten help sooner. I would find a therapist now who you are comfortable with. It's important to find someone you really like. Then have this person help you look out for signs of PPA/PPD after your baby is born. The quicker you catch it if it happens, the quicker you will recover.

I chose to go off of my lexapro for this pregnancy but will go back on it a week or two before my due date to try to reduce or prevent a reoccurance of PPA. I've also been seeing a therapist ever since my husband and I started to TTC again.

Good luck to you. This is a really great blog that might give your more information about anxiety and depression during and after pregnancy. https://www.postpartumprogress.com/weblog/2009/11/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english-1.html

Iove.wins · June 2011

lovely40:
You've gotten some great advice already on this thread but I also wanted to add that as someone who struggles with anxiety, you are at a higher risk for developing postpartum anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety (social and general) all my life but nothing compared to what I experienced after DD was born. I knew it could happen but hoped it wouldn't. I wished I had been more prepared - I could have gotten help sooner. I would find a therapist now who you are comfortable with. It's important to find someone you really like. Then have this person help you look out for signs of PPA/PPD after your baby is born. The quicker you catch it if it happens, the quicker you will recover.

I chose to go off of my lexapro for this pregnancy but will go back on it a week or two before my due date to try to reduce or prevent a reoccurance of PPA. I've also been seeing a therapist ever since my husband and I started to TTC again.

Good luck to you. This is a really great blog that might give your more information about anxiety and depression during and after pregnancy. https://www.postpartumprogress.com/weblog/2009/11/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english-1.html

Thank you, thank you so much for that link. I can already relate to a lot of the stuff on both of the PPA/PPD lists, so I'm going to print it off and take it with me to my OB appointment next week with the stuff highlighted that I'm already experiencing.

I was talking to my mom about it yesterday and she informed me that apparently I have a family history of PPD -- she had it with me and my grandmother had it with all of her kids. Clinical depression runs on my dad's side of the family (my dad had it and was an alcoholic and my sister has been on SSRI's since she was 15) so I feel a little bit like I hit the genetic jackpot in terms of chemical imbalance :.

I'm trying not to be mad at mom about it because I know she would have told me if she thought it was important, but I feel like she should of mentioned it 22 weeks ago when I asked her if there was anything in my family history I needed to know to tell my OB at our first appointment. Maybe some of this could have been avoided, you know?

But it does no good blaming anybody. It just needs to be taken care of.

lovely40 · June 2011

Oh my goodness, that IS the genetic jackpot.

I'm glad you found the link helpful and I think that's a great idea to take the list to your OB and talk to her about it now. There is no shame in taking meds if thats what you decide to do. It's so much better than the pain and misery you and your family could go through if you let it go on too long without asking for help. I was worried that I could have scared you with my earlier post and am glad you found it helpful. Anxiety during and after pregnancy is certainly survivable and you are certainly not alone!! Good luck to you! Let me know if you have any questions or need any further support!

Mommy2BMichelle · June 2011

Ditto to the previous advice, all very thoughtful and speaking from the heart! I'm having some issues as well, so thanks to you for your post and everyone for respnding.

I natural sleep cure that I saw on Dr. Oz yesterday

1/2 c. pumpkin seeds, 1/2 c. milk, 1 tbsp honey. Put in blender and drink

They said it was better than any sleeping pills and Dr. Oz seemed quite into it, all said it was very yummy!

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