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LGBT Parenting
jeannkerricotober09
member
SSG - why I was picking up my records (really, really long..)
jeannkerricotober09
member
Where to begin? When we found out I was pregnant, we immediately toured all the local hospitals, with so many to choose from I wanted to pick one, find an ob, and be done and shockingly feel head over heels with South Shore Hospital - which made us really excited because our normal gyno was a SSH dr. I only went on the tour to appease K, who is from Dorchester/Weymouth and her whole family has been born, worked and died there. I never thought I would choose SSH over all the amazing hospitals in Boston.. but there was something about it. Every facet was perfect, the way they acknowledged K as the second parent, the vibe of the birthing center - the lights were low, it was quiet and clam and airy - more like a hotel than a hospital, the adorably sweet old man who escorted us to the second floor, the security measures, the nurses, every single person we encountered was the nicest, most helpful person possible.
I did my research and found out they deliver the 2nd most babies in Boston - second only to Brigham (which I would go to in a split second for an emergency but wasn't too keen on for a (hopeful) routine delivery. It felt too big and medical.) South Shore has a NICU and all the doc's are from Children's, which is undeniably one of the top children's hospitals in the world. Easy, breezy. Everything was done.
So why the change? Well.. this has been a topic that has made me cry over and over in the past 2 weeks.. And just when I think I have solved the problem, it grows exponentially.
In my research, I found that SSH has a really high c-section/induction/epi rate. Like the third highest in the state, which made me panic. I am a-ok if it needs to happen, but I am preparing for a med-free birth and I want to be sure I am in the right place to give me the best shot at being successful. So during my last ob visit, I mentioned the words 'birth plan' and my ob, who we have been going to for 3-4 years (k's too), and she shut down/looked away/and I am pretty sure I saw an eye roll and launched into a litany of reasons it might not work. All this after I prefaced my 'birth plan' with 'while I know this might not be possible...'. as we were leaving, I remembered another dr from her group who also mentioned a c-section in passing, which I thought was weird at the time but now... and cue freak out.
In the week following I, logically, jumped to the furthest extreme possible - I was positive I would deliver at the Cambridge Birthing Center. Only glitch, I am being followed by MFM so they won't take me. So I hired a doula and started researching the other groups outside of Boston and landed on the Mt. Auburn Midwives. I was totally happy with my decision until I made the stupid mistake of driving in to check out the birthing center 2 days ago - smack dab in the middle of Harvard graduation week. It was anarchy. I got to the hospital late, stressed and having to pee..wicked bad.
I hoped the calm atmosphere of the birthing center would make it all right, but it just wasn't the same feeling as SSH. But I kept telling K, the hospital doesn't matter, it is the people delivering the baby and supporting me. And so I was resolved to deliver there with the midwives and my doula and I was happy - kind of..
Which brings us to yesterday (sorry you asked? 
I drove all over south shore getting scans and records and everything else to bring to my Mt. Auburn Midwives appointment and the second I stepped foot in SSH, I was sad I wouldn't be delivering there. There was a hold up getting my scans and I hung out in the hallway, eating grapes, sad I was severing my ties when this woman, Emily, popped her head out and said 'hi'. She was our genetic counselor and we totally fell in love with her. I couldn't believe she remembered me from 2 months ago and I remembered she said she worked at Tufts for 10 years and just about every other hospital in Boston before and after. So I asked to speak with her. We went in her office and I (ug.) immediately started to cry.
I told her what was happening and it was like I finally exhaled.. after 2 weeks of being in panic/planning mode. First she explained the c-section rates and, smack-my-head, it all made sense. Because of the NICU they will obviously have higher section rates then the midwives group! der. And because the Boston IVF patients deliver there, they have an extraordinarily high multiples rate. Coupled with the fact that most of south shore is wealthy, educated and caucasian they have a super high elective section rate for the rich ladies who don't want to mess up their lady parts. (really?!)
So my comparing the rates between the midwife group and SSH was like comparing apples and tires. And I felt stupid. So then I talked to her about my ob, she asked if I wouldn't mind telling her who it was and then told me I probably couldn't have picked a worse group for my 'ideal' birth. They were fantastic medically speaking, but they typically saw birth as a medical problem and handled it as such. She gave me her cell phone number and told me Mt. Auburn was amazing. She worked there, worked with the midwives, and I would be happy but if I wanted my own private 'meet the midwives' with the midwives from South Shore Women's Health, she would set it up for me and in her opinion, I couldn't do better in Boston. They delivered her second child, even though she worked at Tufts at the time, and she had nothing but praise for them as a professional group and each one on a personal level.
and NOW what?! So I cancelled my Mt Auburn midwives apt at 1pm today and have decided I am going to deliver in my bath tub.
Thanks for asking - even if you haven't read this far down, it helps to get it all out of my head. I am going to take the weekend to think and process and call my insurance and make sure they are ok with my meeting both groups and figure it out from there. All this and watch, I'll be 2 weeks late and have to have pitocin. How much you want to make a bet? ha.
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Re: SSG - why I was picking up my records (really, really long..)
Yup - this is exactly what I was going to post while reading your story. I'm glad someone was able to explain the rates to you so that they made more sense.
I know you aren't asking for advice, but I think as long as you go into the entire birth process with a really open mind you'll be okay. I've seen (or read) about too many ladies who are devastated when their birth plan doesn't work out. Some of this process you can control and other parts you can't. If you can accept that now the entire thing will be much more pleasant, imo.
Oh no I am WAY to anal to birth at home! HA! That way a joke
I am going to meet with the 2 groups and decide which one I like best.
And Two - yes. You are right. I am keeping an open mind about the whole thing. I have never given birth and for all I know I will run into the hospital demanding an epidural! Who knows? I have never felt *that* kind of pain before. But I want to prepare myself (and K who would rather me be medicated in the weeks leading up to my due date..in case..) for a med-free birth and if it doesn't happen, well oh well! I just want to be in a supportive environment so I don't have any regrets after. Anything could happen.. I know that, but preparing for a calm birth (I am doing hypnobabies and hypnobirthing) is only going to help.. no matter what ends up happening.
Absolutely! Looking back at my experience (which I still haven't completely written down) I'm pleasantly surprised with how calm the entire labor was. I never did any of the stereotypical things (yelling, screaming, squeezing, etc) and honestly never had an urge to. I hope you find the practice that fits you best and are able to have a labor experience that both you and K can look back on fondly.
wow, that's quite a story! we have a tour scheduled with our birth center for 6/6 and i'm hoping it goes as well as we've been told it will.
the Natural Birth board isn't very active, but there are plenty of regulars, and i've gotten some good feedback. we're planning to do the Bradley Method, but a lot of women on there have done hypnobabies and loved it. i hope you have a wonderful, calm, healthy birth experience.
Wow that is alot. My good friend uses the mid wives from mt auburn and loves them. They are also the folks that got me pregnant but I wanted an ob to deliver me (I am way to high anxiety). I liked my ob ok at newton and i am sure they would have been fine if I delivered there but I really think they dropped the ball on me. They blew off a high bp reading since my normal is so low the high one was not alarming when not compared to my base line. We will be using someone else I think for S's pregnancy (I think).
As for SSH it is one of the few hospitals that the Brigham will transfer to (nicu to nicu). The specialists at the brigham are all from Children's and the neos rotate through the community hospitals (so all the neos in the ssh will have been trained either at the brigham or at children's). The Children's specialists round in at both hospital every day. I chose to deliver at Newton Wellesley due to the fact that I wanted a low key hospital birth. My last statement to my ob when she asked me about my birth plan was "To have a baby." I wanted to be ok with which ever way E came into the world. I echo Two in being open to change. I am pretty sure that the fact that I was going into it with somewhat of an experience the moment kind of attitude really saved my sanity when it all went to crap. I joke that I should have been more specific in my birth plan but it worked itself out in the end. That said the nice thing is that SSH can deal with most issues and most babies over 32 weeks and they are more than happy to give you a very quick ride to The Brigham if need be. I hope you don't need to see their facilities but they are quite nice and well they saved both our lives so I may be a bit biased. Who is you mfm? I seriously loved mine!
I feel your pain as I am struggling a bit as well. I am currently seeing the Midwives at Mt. Auburn, and saw them for all of my inseminations, but I am considering a smaller practice at Mt. Auburn or a home birth.
Good luck and keep us posted - happy to talk about it whenever.
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