Pregnant after IF

Feeling like I am in limbo...

I think it is b/c when you are going through treatments there is always a test or procedure right around the corner - like tomorrow or the next day and the anticipation and anxiety that comes with everything is so overwhelming.  Now that I have had my second beta and my u/s isn't for a couple of weeks, I feel like I am in limbo.. just waiting hoping things are going well, but it is different than waiting for beta draws or for my next follicle scan, yah know?

Anybody else go through this?

Please don't take this post to mean that I am not SUPER stoked about where I am b/c I am, but I am also caught off-guard by this feeling right now.  I think it would be diff if my u/s was sooner.

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Re: Feeling like I am in limbo...

  • Completely normal feeling. As bad as the wait to start our IVF was, then the 2ww for beta, I really had a hard time waiting on the first u/s. I think it was because it was hard to believe after so many years we were actually pregnant ... yet we didn't know if anything was wrong and such.

    I don't think I truly felt a turning point until around 20 weeks. Then I finally felt pregnant and felt a transition. It's still hard to comprehend but much better now that I am rounding the last few months! : )

    Good luck, I hope all goes well for you!

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  • Oh sweetie, I think I wrote this same post word for word after my betas too.  It's a scary time, and I think we've all been taught to be cautious.  Hang in there, day by day this will feel a little more real.  Although I still have moments when I think I'm just faking this whole darn thing!!! 

    But for sure, in the beginning, people would call me to congratulate me and it was like everyone else was more excited than I was.  I just kept saying "ya, maybe this will be real, we'll see". 

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  • Hey girly!  I love having you over here! <squeal>

    And yes, I know exactly what you mean, even though I had a pretty early u/s.  It's like, at least for me, I am just waiting for the next appointment, the next u/s, to confirm that everything is still ok. It's so hard to enjoy things, at this point so early on at least.  I've talked to my friends that went through IF, and this is a pretty common theme I've found.  I get nervous everytime I go to the bathroom, ridiculous as that sounds.  Whenever I wipe, I say a quick prayer that I don't see any blood on the tissue - how deranged is that?  

    I try to be positive and just let myself enjoy this moment, but I know it can be hard to do that.   

    11/10: IUI #1 =100mg Clomid CD4-8 + pregnyl trigger + IUI = chemical pregnancy
    1/11: IUI #2 = 5mg Femara + trigger + IUI = BFN
    2/11: IUI #3 = injectibles + trigger + IUI = BFN
    IVF #1 April 2011 ER 4/23 w/16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 11 fert., 4 blasts to freeze, 5dt of 2 blasts on 4/28, beta #1 5/7 = 243... beta #2 5/9 = 491....beta #3 5/11 = 1113!!
    my blog

    2011-02-04_11-37-12_452
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I think many of us felt the way you're feeling now.  I thought the time up until I released from the RE were the most stressful of all.  I agree with you that it catches you off guard - in all my years of waiting for the BFP, I never thought about the worry of making sure it sticks!

    Hang in there---and hope the u/s comes quickly.

    TTC since April 2009 dx = PCOS; TTC History for DS - A FET miracle after 7 IUIs; 2 fresh transfers, and 1 other FET resulted in BFNs. Hoping and Praying for baby #2: Cycle 1 - FET; November 2012 BFN Next Steps - who knows? Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • etoyamaetoyama member
    Oh hon of course you're excited! But it's also so normal to feel that way! Can I tell you that even at 28 weeks I still check for blood every time I go to the restroom? Craziness. I completely blame IF. The good news is, it does get easier. With every u/s, and with every week that passes, you will begin to adjust to the idea that you are finally KU and you'll be able to let go of somebody these feelings. Hang in there!
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  • Thanks ladies! :)
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  • I felt exactly like that too.  Waiting for the first u/s felt like forever.  Honestly the wait in between each u/s is so hard, but I think it gets slightly easier with each one.

    Good luck!!

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