How to deal with co-worker
So, I have a co-worker, who is also a friend outside of work who has been really getting to me lately, and I'm already horomonal and emotional, I dont know how to deal with her.
This co-worker is also pregnant, just entered her 2nd trimester, will be a first time mommy. I am pregnany with #2. She keeps talking about how she is going to cut her hours once baby comes and kinda makes me feel like a bad person (I've already had to go cry in the bathroom) because I am already a mommy and still work full time. To me, I feel she is A. insulting me and any other female co-workers that did not cut their hours after having a baby, and B. being totally unrealistic.
The reason I say she is unrealistic is because she and her husband still live in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment in a not so nice area. She mentioned to me before she announced her pregnancy that her DH's student loans had just kicked in after he graduated from college, that they were more than 700/month. She just got a brand new SUV and mentioned that her DH also needs a new car. Her DH works as a restaurant manager, and she has already said that she makes more money than him. I feel as though she is being unrealsitc saying she is going to cut her hours to part-time because babies do cost money, between diapers and formula (she has already said she is going to formula feed), clothes, and other things such as furniture and accessories, daycare...everything adds up. As a friend, I feel like I should sit down with her and say this is how much you need to budget for baby, maybe it will give her a reality check. Plus that 2 bedroom apartment is going to get really small real fast once baby comes, and I'm just afraid they wont be able to afford a house in a nice neighborhood or school district. I have already talked to her about needing to talk to a financial planner, but I don't think she has.
So.... what do I do? I don't want to come off as a b**** to her if I do try to talk to her because I'll probably let my emotions get in the way, especially because she makes me feel like a bad person. Or, do I just ignore the situation and stay out of her business and let her live and learn?!?
Re: How to deal with co-worker
YOU are making yourself feel like a bad person not her.
Who cares if she is being unrealistic or a snotty beaotch. Just smile, be confident in your choices and don't let that crap get to you. You stay out of her business, too.
Yes I know deep down that I need to just mind my own business and just let her live and learn like I had to when I was a first time mommy. It only made me a better person, but its hard to do, esp with me being pregnant also. If she wasn't a friend outside work, I think I'd be able to brush it off a little easier.
Like PP said, she isn't saying these things to make you feel like a bad mother.
In my experience, I would just listen to her and let her manage these things on her own - fail or success. People tend to get pissy when others get into their financial business, whether you mean well or not.
You sound like me--- I would love to stay home however-- I want my babies to have the best life possible and since my salary is bigger than my husbands currently--until he can build up his clientele---living with only part of my income isn't realistic.
I feel I am better providing for my children by providing them a house in the best school districts, with out money concerns and the income to let them do competitive sports or private music lessons or whatever their passion is, and to be able to have a college savings plan for them.
So my husband and I have worked our schedules so that they only need care from someone other than one of us for 4 hours, 3 days a week--and I feel the best option for that is a nanny until they are preschool age, when because of both of our salaries we can send them to the best preschool.
This. Ignore her, and calm down.