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Hurt feelings..

LilynJaneLilynJane
in Pregnant after a Loss

My friend is trying to be nice and plan a little party. We haven't told everyone that we're expecting because of our history of losses. So my friend text me today, not hello or how are you, but "are you still pregnant?" I could've killed her. I think I might be a little sensitive, but I don't see how that's ok to ask someone with or without my history.

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Re: Hurt feelings..

  • hopeandlove0417hopeandlove0417
    Wow, what a &^*$!!! Completely out of line, soo sorry she did that to you *major hugs*

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  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member
    That was a pretty douchey thing for her to say. 

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

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  • SockMonkeySamSockMonkeySam member

    I would have texted back " Are you still a douchcanoe?"

    I am sorry that was an awful thing to say to someone.. some people do not have common sense.


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  • hopeandlove0417hopeandlove0417
    imageSockMonkeySam:

    I would have texted back " Are you still a douchcanoe?"

    OMG lol never heard that expression b4! 


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  • butterflynolabutterflynola member
    imageSockMonkeySam:

    I would have texted back " Are you still a douchcanoe?"

    I am sorry that was an awful thing to say to someone.. some people do not have common sense.

    Lol this exactly!  What a jerk so sorry :(

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  • LilynJaneLilynJane
    haha... Definitely will have to remember that one. :)
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  • haziedazehaziedaze member
    Sometimes tis is why I hate text messages. Your friend was probably trying to be brief because she didn't want to type out more words but instead it made her sound like an insensitive b!tch. I'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt but mention that her wording svcks. ((HUGS))
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
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  • fightingravityfightingravity member

    Oh no. What a terrible thing to say. I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it came out, and probably has no idea she hurt you. She probably intended to be expressing concern/let you know she was thinking about you and hoping for good things for you.

    But of COURSE you were hurt by it. I would be too.

    I'd imagine you're close with her if she knows when others don't--in that situation, I'd probably be direct and let her know it hurt my feelings. I would guess she will feel terrible that she phrased things so badly and apologize and you'll feel much better.

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  • krissymackrissymac member
    I'm sure I would have taken that exactly like you did. PP's make a good point, but I know I get grudge-y and probably wouldn't have even responded.
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  • LilynJaneLilynJane

    We're very good friends and I think her heart was in the right place. But I think the part that hurts the most is that people feel the need to even ask me that. We talked and she said she didn't realize that it was rude and hurtful.

    By the way you guys are awesome, now I don't feel like such a crazy person for being so hurt so easily.

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  • MrsAtchMrsAtch member
    Your friend is an insensitive b!tch. Truly. So sorry you had to deal with that!
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
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  • fightingravityfightingravity member
    I'm so glad you talked to her directly and you feel better. After my loss in Feb, a good friend of mine's response was "I had a couple of friends lose pg...they were farther along than you...they were really worried the next time they got pg." Um, thanks? I wasn't brave/strong enough to call her on it and I have been letting it fester and avoiding talking to anyone about pregnancy who hasn't had a loss. Which is pretty isolating.
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  • StephK86StephK86

    That was rude and uncalled for. People say the most awful things. I would have said "Are you still ugly?" Sorry hunny HUGS.

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  • Eris-AlexisEris-Alexis
    That's a horrible thing for her to say!  I'm so sorry she is so inconsiderate.
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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