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So... The Other Highlight of the Day...
So I'm still kind of in shock from all of this. I feel strange posting about it on the internet to people I don't know in real life, but I don't really feel like there is anyone here/irl that I can talk to about this. So I hope it doesn't come off like I'm making light of this, because it's very serious stuff.
My mother-in-law came out to us this afternoon.
Yeah.
She said she needs to be able to have a meaningful relationship with a woman (actually is already in one).
You might recall that the entire family relationship has gone down the drain in the last 6 months - apparently this is part of that.
It's not completely shocking, because we've had our suspicions and she's had similar situations in the past - but never really been honest about it, I guess. Never really admitted that this is who she is.
I cried as she was telling us because I can't imagine the burden of carrying something like that around for your whole life (as she has, since she was a teenager). I cried for my FIL who said something along the lines of "she realized this when I have finally become the perfect husband and I'm still not what she wants." They both said they love each other and have no plans of getting a divorce after being married for 40 years. They aren't sure what this means for the future except that they didn't want to hide it. They are planning on telling SIL soon (scary - because she is likely to say terrible, mean, hurtful things).
Anyway... I just thought I could share that with you guys. I've shared a lot about my struggles with DH's family and all the craziness... so it's all kind of culminated into this.
Wow, huh?
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Re: So... The Other Highlight of the Day...
Wow is right. Maybe this is the first step to a better relationship with her - maybe she'll be a happier, more pleasant person to be around now that she's not carrying around the burden of hiding it. I hope for everybody's sake that SIL isn't an a** about it and realizes that it takes a lot of guts for her Mom to finally be honest with everybody.
((hugs))
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wow. I cannot imagine living with that burden for so long. I am so glad she has finally decided to get it out there, but I imagine it's not going to be easier this way either. At least you and your DH are understanding... I am saddened that SIL will say mean and hurtful things to her own mother about this. (although I am general saddened when anyone says mean or hurtful things toward anyone's choice of relationship partners.)
We have a sneaking suspicion about my Aunt and her "friend" that she has lived with for years and I really really thought her seeing that I have friends that are would help her "come out" to at least me, but she never has. Maybe we're all wrong? but either way, I hope she knows either way that I love and accept her.
Kudos to her for finally being honest with herself. That must have been such a burden for years.
However -- what a conversation -- on both ends. I can't imagine having that conversation with a parent or an in-law. I'm trying to reply to your post and I can't even think of what to say.
(Hugs). This can't be easy for anyone.
Wow. That would be shocking. I can't imagine your FIL wanting to stay married if your MIL is already in a relationship. That just seems odd, but that's me.
{{HUGs}} to you & your DH.
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All of this. What a rollercoaster, thgouh.
Big E (6) & Little E (2.5)
Yeah... it's really so crazy. DH is not really upset and seems to be dealing with it alright. I told her I was sorry she was having such a difficult time and was feeling so upset about things, that I was sorry she'd had to fight against that part of herself for so long. I told her the only real concern I had was that she still make room for us in her new life, whatever it was going to be. That the only real bad feelings I've had towards her in the last six months are because I felt like she kind of kicked us to the curb (as I've expressed to you guys)... and that that hurt my feelings and made me feel angry. But I told her that I loved her no matter what
And... yeah... I'm a little confused about my FIL, too. It doesn't make much sense to me. DH left his last gf (of six plus years) when she said she wanted to date a girl (just to try it out - but have him wait a year so they could maybe get back together). DH said no way and moved back home. So yeah... DH doesn't understand that either. They said they're not really sure what the future will look like, except that they love each other very much and still consider each other to be their best friend... which i guess makes as much sense as anything else.
What a crazy roller coaster, for sure! We got home, I gave DH a big hug and he said "geez... sorry my family is so crazy." I'm just lucky he's so good, considering! (he's most like his dad obviously)
I started typing a response last night but then got into a coughing fit and never went back to the post...
Just know that I'm sending lots of love and supportive vibes to you and your family!
I'm glad your MIL is on her way to finding some peace with herself.
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