Success after IF

I have another u/s today . . . (long)

and I'm scared to death that our remaining baby won't have a h/b either. 

With each loss of mine I get farther along but things still don't work out, so I've lost all faith that I'll ever be able to just relax and enjoy my pgcy and not worry.  Before DS I had an ectopic and lost a tube, so when I got pg with him once we saw that it made it to the uterus I was in the clear and I didn't really worry too much after that.  Then at the end of last year I got pg again, but we never got to see the h/b b/c we left out of the country for 3.5 weeks and when I came back we found out that we had a missed m/c, but that baby never developed a h/b.  Now after finally making it through months of IF treatment we did IVF and got pg with twins.  We saw both h/bs and both were measuring on track at both 6 wks 1 day and 8 wks 1 day.  Baby A with a h/b of 188 and Baby B with a h/b of 167.  Then 6 days later Baby A no longer has a h/b. 

What makes it so awful for me is b/c it was so unpredictable.  Baby A had an even stronger h/b that Baby B.  Both were measuring slightly ahead of schedule by a couple days.  If one was measuring a week behind or something it would be easier for me to understand that something was not right. 

Maybe the kicks from my son caused the baby to quit growing . . . or maybe it had some genetic defect, but then it makes me even more nervous that something's wrong with the other one. 

Anyway, I don't know if I'll ever feel like we're out of the woods.  : (

Re: I have another u/s today . . . (long)

  • Pregnancy after a loss is so difficult.  My family kept telling me to relax and enjoy being pregnant but I just couldnt.  I had a missed m/c before so I never felt safe, even after an u/s I would start worrying again later that day because there were no signs that something was wrong last time.  I started feeling a little better at 13 weeks and then much better at 17 when I started feeling him move.  It will take time but what you're feeling is completely normal.  Good luck at your u/s today.
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  • hang in there.  i'll be thinking of you today and i hope the baby looks fantastic.
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  • Your situation is not easy at all. ?You will be in my thoughts and prayers. ? (((HUGS)))
  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. I pray that everything looks great today.
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  • Before 13 weeks your baby is well protected from outside forces by your pelvic bone ? please don't think for a moment that kicks from your son could have caused the baby to stop growing. I just don't think it's possible.

    I know this must be so incredibly hard to deal with. You will be in my thoughts today. 

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  • I'm so sorry.  I know this is so stressful for you.  I hope that today's u/s goes well and that Baby B is doing great.  If it's any consolation, I am 100% sure that your DS kicking your stomach in no way caused Baby A to stop growing.  Babies are so insulated and protected from that sort of thing that there's no way that was the cause.  I'm so sorry for your loss and all the anxiety it causes. 

    I know what you mean about wondering if you'll ever feel out of the woods.  I had a missed m/c before Evan and I needed a lot of reassurance from my doctors before I was able to hear his hb on the home doppler.  After I started feeling him move, it was so much better.  With this pregnancy, every time I start to relax, I start bleeding again (last night being the latest example).  Just take it one day at a time.

  • I'm so sorry for all you have gone through. It has been an incredibly difficult road for you and I would be just as nervous in your situation.

     I know it probably doesn't help much to hear this, but losing a twin is unfortunately something that seems to happen fairly often. I've seen it happen several times on this board and also to people I have know IRL. In no case that I remember did they lose the other twin. That doesn't make it any easier, I know, but I think you can be optimistic that your other baby will be just fine.

    I will be thinking of you and saying prayers for  everything to work out.

     

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  • I understand the worry.  Hang in there.  You'll know soon and stressing out is not good for you or the baby!  Kee us posted!  ::hugs::
  • I am just so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard and though I don't like the expression it just doesn't seem fair. I don't have any words of wisdom for you but I will be thinking about you today (and onwards!) and sending you good vibes for baby B and as much patience and comfort as is possible. (((Hugs))) Please keep us posted ...
  • I just want to give you a big hug.....I don't know what more to say. You have been put in such a difficult situation.....BUT....you will get through this. You have a beautiful, healthy baby growing inside of you that you need to stay strong for!! I know you can do it......

    It will be difficult to stay strong and positive (I've been there before and you know how I felt before every u/s and throughout my PG.....), but you can do it because you need to for the sake of the baby, your DS and your DH :) We are here for you......

    Please let us know how the u/s goes.....I am thinking of you......

    Your DS did not "hurt" the baby. Trust me.....I went through this same thing when I m/c a month ago. I started having thoughts that b/c I was picking up DS constantly and b/c he climbed all over me that it may have caused the m/c.....there is NO way that it did. I had doctor after doctor reassure me that picking up your child and them kicking does NOT cause a m/c......it is not his fault AND it is not your fault in any way.....

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  • I am sooo sorry for your loss. :( ?Our due dates are only a day apart and I have watched your progress. ?I am praying for you, baby "b" and your U/S today. ?

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    Melissa ?

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