- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Natural Birth
Fletcha
member
Ugh, birth month birth stories...
Fletcha
member
So sometimes I like to lurk on the current birth month to read their birth stories and see all the cute newborn pics... but wow it is a little discouraging when I read all the "well I was planning on going natural, but it hurt SO BAD and I was screaming for the epi when I got there and then the angels descended from heaven and it was unicorns and rainbows..."
I want to ask these ladies how much they really prepared and what the expected, etc to try to avoid that! I know (barring major complications) I can do this and the midwife I'm planning on going with was great with my SIL helping her through med free, but I still have this fear that I'll still be totally unprepared and caught off guard by the experience. Like I'm so naive for thinking that as hard as it will be, I will be able to push through it.
Yeah, the doubt is somewhat normal... guess I just need to read more natural birth stories and watch some more birth videos! I still have lots of time... whew..
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ugh, birth month birth stories...
That's exactly why i originally decided on a home birth. I wouldn't even have the option for drugs, too afraid i would "whimp" out if i were in a hospital and take the drugs. And I'm using that term to describe how i would feel about myself for taking the drugs, not how i feel about other women who don't go med free.
Yes! I think the same thing all the time. I really haven't seen many people that genuinely prepared to go natural and opted for the epi.
There's two parts of this statement you made: that you'll be "caught off guard" and that you'll be "totally unprepared." You can control one of them, and the other one is inevitable.
You'll be caught off guard because it's a completely unique experience that cannot be caught in words and that is different for everyone. But you will be prepared if you choose to be.
I think reading more positive natural birth stories is a great idea, and it really, really helped me feel more confident. I never even thought about asking for the epi; I was concentrating too hard on working through labor to think about it.
Have you checked out the stories here: https://www.firsttheegg.com/pregnancybirth/laborbirth/
I'm not sure if this is any help but I planned to have an unmedicated birth. I ended up getting a surprise in induction due to low amniotic fluid (my midwife sent me straight from my 41 week appointment to the hospital). I made it to 7 cm and got an epi because I was forced to labor on my back due to Max having major decelerations during contractions and difficulty keeping his heartrate on my monitor (turned out that cord was around his neck, as we suspected). Prior to that I'd been able to move around as I wanted and use the shower. I needed to be still and on my back because they couldn't get the monitor into his scalp.
I was handling the pitocin contractions with pretty much no break in between (don't get me wrong, it was hard as hell and I freaked out multiple times), but trying to stay still while laboring on my back was more than I could take. My doula told me that she thinks I would have made it without the epi if I hadn't needed to stay on my back
So, I guess what I'm saying is that I think you'll be fine. I dealt with the pitocin contractions, but it wasn't until I was faced with being on my back for an unknown period of time that I just couldn't handle it anymore and I managed to make it to 7. I know everyone's pain tolerance is different, but when I hear that the pain was unbearable at 4 cm I just find that hard to believe.
Wow, props to you that you were able to even last that long. I've heard of how evil pitocin is and definitely will try to avoid at all costs and if it becomes 100% medially necessary, that will probably be one of my only exceptions to my no-pain relief plan. But as long as I have normal labor, I believe I can do it!
Thanks for the encouragement ladies!
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
When the time comes just focus on what you have to do to get through it. There are always things that will be out of your control, but you can always control how you deal with these things. During my childbirth classes we were told, if you can make it to 6cm without drugs you can make it all the way, contractions won't get more painful, just more intense.
I had a really intense labour with contractions starting at 1.5min long without much break, I seriously started to doubt my ability to make it. When I found out that I was past 6cm it became so much easier because I knew I could do it. I think a lot of it is being surrounded by people who are supportive of your decision of going medfree. The hardest time for me when I was on my own without out anyone supporting me.
Good luck!
I had a med-free childbirth in a hospital. Well, technically it was a birth center attached to a hospital. I never once asked for any meds. I did Hypnobabies and told everyone about it in the beginning, so no one even offered meds. I did receive Pitocin (had to - my water had been broken for 24 hours and no progress) and even with the "more powerful" contractions I didn't get any meds.
You can do it, especially if you have your mind set on it. I see those same posts and I wonder how committed they really were, or how much they prepared, or just how mentally tough they are. That probably sounds bad. I just think that if you are mentally tough enough, you can do it.
I have been on the May board since I joined TB. I usually just skip over the bad birth stories like that, but a few of them have caught me off guard and are a bit discouraging. I am scared that labor will hit and be way more intense than I expect.
I just read the birth stories here for encouragement. I also think about the stories of the ladies who had epis that didn't work. It makes me think, why risk it when it's not a sure thing anyway. I am hoping those, along with my preparation and DH, can get me through
I was induced with Pitocin when LO was 10 days overdue. Honestly, it was not as horrible as it is made out to be. I was induced at midnight, labored for 20 hours and pushed for 3.
The only challenge was breathing. Contractions start off intense and remain intense or get stronger at a steady pace. There was no break. I had not ate in 36 hours or slept in 48 hours and was running on adrenaline. It was the most intense cardio activity I ever experienced. That alone was why I asked for the epidural.
I always planned to be medicated, so that was no surprise, but as soon as the medicine started flowing, I went numb and could not move my legs. I hated the sensation and almost wished to have it removed. I needed it to relax my breathing. My mom taught Lamaze classes, so she trained me to breathe, but the tightening of my belly was restrictive.
All that being said, I plan to try without an epi for my next baby. I could still feel back labor and needed two boluses of medication, so I don't think the epidural worked as well for me as it does for others.
You CAN do it! Even with Pitocin.
Get Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and read it. The stories in there are definately empowering. You need to be as positive as possible and surround yourself with positive people. You have to be prepared for everything... with my first my water broke and the contractions were on top of each other and very strong from the beginning and my labor was 4.5 hours from start to birth.. and with my second child, it came on more slowly and spaced better, so I could relax and know what I was in for... much longer total labor, but the high intensity was only 1.5 hours. You never know what will happen.
When I was pregnant with my second, I had the positive thoughts of:
#1: Milliions of women had come before me and gone without drugs because there hadn't been any and they were fine...and had more babies
#2: I had done it once and could definately do it again.
#3: I saw it as a challenge that I could meet, like how some people train to run marathons or do the ironman races... this is what my body was designed to do... and I had the mental strength to know that I could do whatever it took because as a woman, I was meant to give birth.
#4: I had been so proud at what I accomplished the first birth being sans drugs... and how great it was to be able to get up and move around right away... I wanted to make sure that I did it again.
I won't lie.... it hurt, but if you really believe in your abilities as a woman, and read as much as you can and practice breathing or whatever method you can think of... you can do it..... as much as my friends say they hated giving birth and only loved their epi's... I loved that I was able to handle the whole process by myself... it was honestly the most empowering moments of my life. I was strong mentally and physically. I could do anything I set out to do..... it was a great experience both times and I would encourage you to keep researching and stay positive.
This is definitely my mindset! I see it as the hardest, craziest marathon/mountain climb of my life. Pain with a purpose and a goal in front of you! It takes a LOT of preparation and training, but it can be done.
I just ordered 5 more books from half.com. Woot!
Thanks a bunch, ladies.
Let me guess - none of those birth month bumpies post on this board, right? That's the trend I noticed w/ my friends who all had that same story - they did not prepare - no reading, no exercising, no childbirth class focusing on coping techniques. They just thought they could "wing it." Does it work for some ppl? Yes, but I wouldn't chance it if that's what you really want. I always tell ppl who seem interested that having a med-free birth - esp in a hospital - is about much more than saying you're not gonna get the epi. It's about making sure you know what things to decline and what kind of setting you'll need to achieve the birth you want.
I pretty much call BS on anyone who says they want to "try" to go med-free. If you do not have it in your head that you ARE going med-free, I think it will only be a matter of time. I also love seeing "I am going to go as long as I can". IMO, why even put yourself through that if you already know you will end up with an epi?