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Doubting my maternal skills

shoefreak85shoefreak85
in Pregnant after a Loss

DH and I are keeping our godson over night.  He is three years old and knows how to press my buttons.  At dinner, he flipped my entire plate of food into my lap.  He kept coming up with excuses to play longer and not go to bed.  There is no negotiation with me, however his parents will negotiate with him. 

I lost my patience several times.  Thankfully, DH was extremely patient with him.  I always thought that I would be the more patient parent, but maybe I'm wrong.  Or maybe our child will be different.  I just have myself completely doubting my mommy skills!  This is not his first time spending an extended amount of time with us without his parents, but it is his first time since I've been pregnant.  I'm hoping it's the hormones that have me so impatient!

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"'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
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Re: Doubting my maternal skills

  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member

    I think the biggest difference between babysitting and watching your own child is that when its your own, you've been laying down the ground rules from the start.  Your kid will know that type of behavior isn't tolerated and there will be no negotiations. 

    (Of course, this is just speculation on my part given I don't have any kids.)

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

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  • allybaby85allybaby85 member
    You will be fine!I'm sure it will be different with your own children and you will be able to establish you and your DH's rules and expectations.
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  • olivia_eveolivia_eve
    As the mom of a 3 year old, they're really, really tough sometimes. I think it's really normal to doubt your parenting skills around one!
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  • Runnergirl2242Runnergirl2242 member
    imageJunebug060609:

    I think the biggest difference between babysitting and watching your own child is that when its your own, you've been laying down the ground rules from the start.  Your kid will know that type of behavior isn't tolerated and there will be no negotiations. 

    (Of course, this is just speculation on my part given I don't have any kids.)

     I agree with this 100% and I do have an older child and an older step son. Other peoples kids can drive you batty bc of ground rules. Also, I would add that you look at your own child through the eyes of the strongest love that exists..mother and child. Even when they are pushing buttons somehow it does not drive you crazy.

    DS Born 10/05/99 DSS Born 7/11/95 BFP 05/11/10 - Missed M/C, D&C 06/23/10 BFP 8/3/2010 - Ectopic, Methotrexate 8/17/10 BFP 1/27/11- Please God let this heart beat strong. Beta1 17dpo-314 Beta2 20dpo-883 Beta3 22dpo-1861 Beta4 25dpo-5918 DS2 Born 10/07/99 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD." 1Sam1v24to28.
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  • butterflynolabutterflynola member
    Like other pp said it will be different with your own, your own rules etc, plus this little guy was probably testing you more because his parents weren't there 3 year olds are stinkers I wouldn't let it get to you :)
    ?DD 9/17/10 22wks I carry you in my heart.?
    bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
    ?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
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  • MrsAtchMrsAtch member
    Having your own children is entirely different than dealing with other people's children. I am actually DREADING having my cousin and her son carpool with me tomorrow. Her kids are really hard to handle. I love them, but I could never live with them.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
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  • Eris-AlexisEris-Alexis
    imageJunebug060609:

    I think the biggest difference between babysitting and watching your own child is that when its your own, you've been laying down the ground rules from the start.  Your kid will know that type of behavior isn't tolerated and there will be no negotiations. 

    (Of course, this is just speculation on my part given I don't have any kids.)

    I think Junebug is absolutely correct.  

    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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