Listen to this
I have mentioned my bff who is pregnant with twins.....
Well, I tried to take her to music with us the other day.....and she went BSC before we even left her street! She attempted to get out of my mini van while it was moving! I was only going slow, it was residential and I saw her reach for the door.....but OMG she was going to get out!
I stopped and she got out and was sobbing....she said I was stressing her out and she was having a horrible day (it wasn't even 10am). I had asked if the guy who is the father, and physically/mentally abuses her was still living with her. She said yes (and made excuses) and I said I didn't like it.....and that was it. Now I am the un supportive friend and the one who is wrong. I just don't get it.....but hey, she only calls me when she has kicked him out, or the cops have been there, or he hurts her.
I kind of want to be done.....I can't support her while she chooses this situation and chooses not to change it. I haven't talked to her since this happened, and I guess I won't until something happens again. Last time (about a month ago) she swore he was done and not coming back. But the way she treated me leads me to believe she needs more help and won't see that he is bad news until she gets the help.
So sad, I pray she gets help and helps these babies too. I ended up just letting her go and I went to music. I had the kids and she wasn't being nice.
Re: Listen to this
Yikes. That is a crappy situation for everyone, including you! Do you know if she/they are getting help? It sounds like she wants you to agree with what she is doing, and tell her it's the right thing, when it's obvious that it's not! There are tons of resources available to women like her, she just needs to be able to honest with herself, and be strong for those babies. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, and catch crap for trying to be a friend to her. ((hugs))
Thanks Ash....you know my biggest problem is that I seem to be the only one who knows about the abuse. So, her other friends are all happy and excited for her and the guy. It stinks to be the one who has to try and be supportive but know what might happen next. She was getting counseling, and so was he.....but stuff has happened since they have been going. I have given her numbers and tons of ideas for help both for the abuse and financially (state help).
I just don't know what else to do. I refuse to pretend it isn't a problem. She asked me to give him a chance and then a few weeks later called crying. I can not give him a chance, he isn't going to change. He has had problems with the law for a looong time, nobody else knows this either =(
She is only 18 weeks.....and out of work for now already.