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Multiples
How long before I have to stop calling them "The Twins"?
My boy/girl twins are 8 years old and everyone...I mean everyone...still refers to them as the twins. When I want them to come here I say, "Twins?!!" or when I want to know who did something its, "Okay twins, which one of you broke this?' They do get referred to by their individual given names, but more often than not it's "twins". Neither one of them complain and they even call themselves "we". I did have to separate them when they started elementary school because my daughter became the official spokesperson of the group and my son wouldn't talk. You could ask, "Alex, are you feeling alright?" And Alexis would pipe up and say, "He feels okay, just a little tired!"
I saw an episode of "Rugrats" one time where the twins Phil and Lil decided that they no longer wanted to referred to as "The Twins" and even started dressing differently. I just wanted to know if there are any moms of older twins that has reached the milestone of the "two" deciding they wanted to become individualized? I thought by now they would have distanced themselves from one another, but they are still joined at the hip, lol.
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Re: How long before I have to stop calling them "The Twins"?
Not a mom of older twins, but my younger twin brothers are 21 now. I don't really remember my parents calling them "the twins" very often, but everybody else in our families, and even some of their friends did (and many still do). It was never an issue that I know of. By the time they got into junior high they were in totally different classes, had different sets of friends, got into different activities, and never had any issues being their own person (persons? LOL). They have always had very different personalities, and even though they were called "the twins" often, nobody really treated them the same. I think that treating them as individuals and encouraging them to do their own things, if that's what they want, is more important than what you call them. And of course if they actually come out and say "hey Mom, use the names and knock if off with the twin thing, yeah?" you should probably respect that.
Compared to many posters on this board though, I am very relaxed about using terms like twins, duo, etc. It's not a big deal to me in the grand scheme of things.
You named them Alex and Alexis and call them "twins"!?!?
If you want them to develop individuality, you might start by treating them as individuals... oh I don't know, say by calling them by their names?
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I agree, I have never called my boys "the twins", and my family never has either. They are individual people despite the fact that they were born on the same day, and are twins, and I have striven to make a point of that from day one.
i call mine "the babies" or "the boys"... rarely do I ever say "the twins" - I just don't think of them that way that often... they are just 2 of my kids.
I don't think there's anything wrong with calling them 'the twins" occasionally- but calling them by yelling "twins!! come here!" is a bit odd to me. I would only use the term when talking to other adults- I don't picture myself ever calling my children "the twins" when talking TO them ---- I use their names when i talk to them.
I think it's time to stop now... if this post is even for real.
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
Agreed!
I call mine the girls and DH and even joke "This one. That one"
I do call them Alexander (or Alex) and Alexis. I even made the effort to separate them into different classes as soon as they hit elementary school. The school has it noted in their registration never to put them in the same classes...and they have not. I have four kids and the twins tend to get lumped together because they so close. They have their own activities, Alexis does art/dance, and Alex plays flag football/basketball. They have their own sets of friends and have overnights separately. But even with all of that they are still so very close.
When I was growing up, it was just me and my sister. We were always referred to as "the girls". It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started resenting the term. I never had a problem with it as a child. But my sister and I were never close as children...not like Alexander and Alexis are. My sister and I were like oil and water which is why I resented being lumped together with her. All of my children are so close and genuinely love each other. And that is the reason why I was asking.
And I don't understand the comment "if this is even real". My kids are very real....
Ditto this as well. My girls are only (almost) 6 weeks old, and I've never said "the twins" I refer to them as "the girls" when talking to others like "the girls are doing good" etc. When talking to them or about one of them, we call them by their individual names.
Right now, (im still pg) my older boys are sometimes referred to as "the boys" as in "mom would you mind watching the boys tonight? or "Boys its time to come wash up" Or "hello, I need to make a hair appt for the boys" Right now we refer to the babies in my womb as "the twins" because they too, are boys and we already have "the boys"
Honestly? I don't see the problem with most of what she said she does. If I had two kids born at seperate times, and found a mess, I'd probably call "KIDS! COME HERE!" or Boys, or Girls, or whatever.
If I was talking to someone on the phone, they'd likely ask, "How're the kids doing?" Heck, they already say "the boys" referring to my husband and son
Now, if I were to walk up to the triplets and say directly to them "How are the triplets today?" that would be different, but I don't see any difference between calling them "the twins" and calling them "the kids" or "the babies" or any of the other little terms that parents use when referring to more than one child. It just saves time and breath. And if I'm already at wits end because a jar of glitter is spilled on the floor, do I really want to focus on making sure to say "A, B, and C, come here" or just say "KIDS! NOW!" or something to that effect? I have triplet cousins and to this day we refer to them as "the triplets" and they do too, but at 26 years old they are definitely their own people. No harm done.
I'm an identical twin, so I'll chime in on this one!
We're 25 and still get called "the twins". We still refer to ourselves as "we". We are best friends. But there was a period of time in our childhood where we hated being referred to as one entity instead of separate people. We outgrew it quickly. When our older sister (6 years old) went away to college when we were 13, we told our parents we weren't happy about being "only children".
So in short, I would stop calling them "the twins" when the ask you to or if they seem upset about it. Chances are they might not mind in the future!
ETA: It's rude to call them by saying, "Twins!" My sister and I were never forced into the "twin thing". Ever. She played sports, I sang in choir. She had long hair, I had short hair. Her name is Amanda, my name is Jackie. Don't force it.
Alexander and Alexis are like night and day. Everything they choose is the opposite of each other, right down to how they like their food prepared. The only thing I was questioning is when I stop referring to them as "the twins". Just like when my sister and I were referred to as "the girls" even though we are four years apart in age. The only difference is that they are sooo close and call themselves "we". I even have to work on Alexis not speaking up for her brother when he can speak for himself. Thanks for your input, it's nice to hear from someone who knows from experience how it feels.
Now...
I'm SO HAPPY someone else can reference that quote! That was the first thing I thought of when she wrote that in her post!!!