I really need some chocolate..or a hug..(long ramble)

Aviee · May 2011

Since H started at his new job, I've been home all the time as he had to work his 2 last weeks at his old one too. Then he went to a rock concert for his b-day all last weekend. Even though he's back, I'm super stressed and exhausted over everything. H had told his boss that working nights every other weekend (alternating days and nights) would be ok, KNOWING that nights on weekends are 80% of all of my hours at MY job. Now I'm stuck between begging my boss to not have me work as much on those weekends and beg for nights during the week (which isn't fair to everyone else who'll have to work literally every weekend to make up for that) or get a new job and have DD in daycare (which we can't afford) and hear how horrible I am from everyone I'm related to for having 'someone else raise my kid.'

I don't know how much more stress I can take. I'm sick of hearing opinions from my family on what I should be doing for DD (rice cereal, letting her nibble on my food, CIO training, find a 'permanent baby sitter'...) because they no longer want to help us out now that summer's here and they want to go do things you can't do with a 3 mo old (sailboats). I can't find a reliable sitter around here to watch DD at night til midnight or later because we never know how busy we'll be at work. The latest any daycare goes around here is midnight (my friend works there) but I can't be there at midnight to get her! Plus, we only have one car, so I'd be walking home because my job's closer than H's to home.

Even though H is back to only working 8 hours a day, he gets upset if DD is fussy for 3 minutes. 3. All I've wanted for 2 weeks was some help for an hour, and I got 15 whole minutes last night and had to save DD from being awake for 80000000000000000000 more hours at bedtime. I feel bad about me plotting how I'm going to hit H with this tomorrow morning. I know this won't be pretty and frankly I'm rather upset. I've never felt so un-appreciated in my life by so many people all at once while I'm bending over backwards to try to keep sanity in place for a few minutes a day.

Yeah, I need chocolate...gallons.

christyp80 · May 2011

It sounds like you need some help! And please stop being so hard on yourself! You don't need to make anyone happy except your darling baby girl. She is YOUR baby, and you can raise her however you like. Tell all your family members whenever they offer unhelpful advice regarding CIO or cereal or whatever, that you're following your pedi's recommendations. End of story. As for your hubby, does he expect you to work or not? If he does, then he needs to arrange to be home during your working hours. Although, I've found that my coworkers are very accommodating with my time with my baby...if you told them that you could only work every other weekend when your H is home, I bet you'd be surprised how understanding they would be. And I completely sympathize with having a hubby who overstimulates or doesn't know how to soothe LO. My DH doesn't realize that 5 minutes overtired means that we'll be up an extra 30 minutes trying to get her to sleep. And he's constantly turning on lights and bringing toys into bedtime...talk about giving the child mixed messages. Grrr.

Anyway, hugs for you!! Hang in there. It sounds like your fam is going through an adjustment period with your H's new job, but I'm sure everything will settle down soon.

GoMommy · May 2011

Hang in there mamma! About your family, I'm in the same boat. Mine are also always trying to stop me from "spoiling" him and start feeding him real food (REALLY?) Ugh, I tell everyone (other than my grandma w/ Alzheimers) that he is my baby and we will raise him the way we want, if they can't keep their comments about CIO and eating unsaid, then they don't have to see us. That helped.

About your DH, I'm sorry he doesn't get it. I hope you can take a few min and relax! Hopefully everything calms down soon!! And eat as much chocolate as you want! You've earned it!

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