Frustrated for my SIL

Mrs.Greeko · May 2011

SIL had a DS about 20 months ago. The doctor told her the baby was big and then proceeded to tell her that more than likely there would be shoulder dystocia so she thought she should just get a C-section. SIL didn't want a C-section (in fact she thought she might want to go drug free) so she went into labor, got to the hospital where they promptly started her on pitocin and then of course she wanted the epidural. I have my theories that the doctor was sure SIL couldn't deliver baby on her own so it wouldn't surprise me if they "pitted the baby into distress" so they could talk her into a C-section. Not to mention the doctor had her so freaked out about the baby getting stuck that I think she was terrified to push. And with a big baby you really really cannot be pushing on your back since the pelvis needs to open up more. Anyway so she ended up with a C-section. Baby was 9 pounds 1 ounce.

She's pregnant again. Same doctor. Baby is measuring a full pound+ less than her first son. And she's having another C. She mentioned that she really wanted to VBAC to me many times and was thinking that if the baby was big again then maybe she would do a C. But baby isn't big this time. And SIL really wanted to go into labor on her own. Doc was okay with VBAC until now that it is close and now it has to be a C. I'm so frustrated for her. She's fine with it, but I feel like her doc doesn't have her best interests in mind in the least. And I have to keep my mouth shut.

honkytonk_kid · May 2011

That's so frustrating, especially because she WANTS a vbac. If she was happy with another c/s it would be different.

I hope everything works out for her in the healthiest/happiest way possible

autumnbaby2010 · May 2011

I hope this doesn't sound cruel, but I wouldn't waste my frustration on her. Like you said, she's fine with it. If she truly believes her 1st c-section was unnecessary but kept the same doctor for this baby, and has prepared herself for a VBAC only by mentioning that she "really wanted to VBAC," then the fault primarily lies with her if she has another unnecessary c-section.

There are too many women on this and the VBAC board who prove that you have to be proactive in having the birth you want, especially after having one go so opposite of what you'd intended.

Mrs.Greeko · May 2011

autumnbaby2010:

I hope this doesn't sound cruel, but I wouldn't waste my frustration on her. Like you said, she's fine with it. If she truly believes her 1st c-section was unnecessary but kept the same doctor for this baby, and has prepared herself for a VBAC only by mentioning that she "really wanted to VBAC," then the fault primarily lies with her if she has another unnecessary c-section.

There are too many women on this and the VBAC board who prove that you have to be proactive in having the birth you want, especially after having one go so opposite of what you'd intended.

Oh I totally agree that she is at major fault here for having another unnecessary C-section. I'm frustrated for her, at her, at the state of birth in this country. I just think it sucks.

KateLouise · May 2011

Mrs.Greeko:
And with a big baby you really really cannot be pushing on your back since the pelvis needs to open up more. Anyway so she ended up with a C-section. Baby was 9 pounds 1 ounce.

Totally off topic, but this bit just leapt out at me. My baby was 9 pounds and I pushed on my back, out of preference.

I didn't have any problems.

I wonder if it's relevant to the size of the mother's hips/pelvis? My hips are more than ample.

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Frustrated for my SIL

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