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June 2011 Moms
Sazhrah
member
Ex and parental rights (vent)
Sazhrah
member
Yesterday I had a very emotionally rough day. I am not sure why but I did. Today I was doing much better. Then while I was at work I got served court papers.
My exhusband who has custody of my two sons (loooooooong story and battle) is sueing to have my parental rights terminated and to have his 3rd wife adopt my sons. I am some how supposed to show up in 30 days for court in another state.
We have been battling and fighting horrendously for 10 years. When does it just end?
Thanks for listening ladies.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ex and parental rights (vent)
June Bugs Blog
Can you ask for an extension, or to reschedule? I know of a woman here -- unfortunately I had to be a witness (looong story) -- that was able to appear in court via telephone b/c she lived three or so hours away and she had just had her baby.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I wish exes could be sane, but that usually isn't the case. I am actually considering writing up a custody agreement with my FI in the case that we do not stay together, and it would keep us from being *able* to be vindictive. Not really sure how he would take it...
Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support.
I already know what I am going to do and how I will go about doing it. This was something inevitable on his end. It was just a matter as to when it would happen.
I am just so tired of fighting with him.
As for the custody agreement with your husband, I think that is a good idea. My DH and I have already talked about this just because we have gone through this for so long. I doubt anything would happen to us but just in case we know how we would proceed with things.
What. The. Fvck.
Is it not bad enough that you let him have custody, he now needs to make it as if they're not you children at all anymore?
Does he think that the son you have on the way is a replacement child, so you don't need these ones anymore? It's like he thinks your kids are puppies or something that you just give away!
I agree with the PP - try contacting the courts and see if you can get an extension based on the fact that you're going to be a few weeks to a few days post partum when they expect you to be there.
And Then There Were Three...
Married: 08/14/10
Baby #1 Born: 06/18/11
June Moms Blog
BLOG
This. I remember reading your story and this makes me really angry.
Probablly. But, he doesn't know I am pregnant and nor do I wish him to know.
He is a very spiteful, vindictive person. He brings out the worst in me and I in him.
Our story goes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back and is a very intricate story and how all of it came to this point. It was truthfully just a matter of time. He has impecable timing.
Again, I do know what I am going to do and how I am going to do it, I just couldn't believe it happened today. He does this type of stuff every single time something really important is going on in my life. It's as if he just can't let go and leave me alone.
Oh no. That's gotta be tough because you're about to just have this baby. I'm almost sure the court will give you an extension given the fact that you'll only be a few days postpartum in 30 days???
Good luck and I hope all things work out for the best for you!
Wow - you know what bugs me the most about this? It reminds me of my Mom. I am 27 (almost 28) and she is still trying to convince me my Dad sucks. He doesn't BTW!!! She was telling me all this crap about the sh*t he pulled during her pregnancy/labor the other day. There are 2 sides to every story and I know that. They divorced when I was one year old, and I have a good relationship with both parents but my Mom has been trying to undermine my relationship with my Dad for over 20 years. It is so frustrating and stupid. I don't know why she feels like my loving my Dad means loving her less.
I feel for your sons that their father is working so hard to undermine their relationship with you. You will suffer from this, yes, but so will your sons! If you actually did say "ok, I surrender my rights as a parent" I can imagine that as they grow up they might just feel like their own Mom didn't want them. Why on earth your husband wants to put them in that position is beyond me.
I am glad to read that he doesn't know you're pregnant but yeah 'impeccable timing' is right. I am *so* sorry you have to fight this battle at all but especially right now!
O.O >< NOT OKAY! I'm sorry I'm just now catching all of this,... but as you (Sarah) know, I was basically down and out with the plague. =/ I really don't know what to say other than WTH?! and who the hell does he think he is?! Does he even care what the boys think/want?! ARRRHHH!
*big huge hugs* I'm sorry honey. You know how to reach me if you need to vent it out. Anytime.
peace,
katharine
Book-Kitten blog
Oh he has been trying to undermine my relationship with the boys since he got together with his 2nd wife. She was jealous that we were still on friendly terms and worked together with the boys.
He is the type of person that will do ANYTHING a woman says as long as he is getting some. He is a spineless twit and can't do anything on his own. He knows if it were just me and him I would tear him into little pieces. I however cannot compete against him and my parents. Oh yeah, my parents are on his side. For what reasons I don't know.
He isn't even the first petitioner on the petition. It is his 3rd wife. This is such a long detailed story for me to really get to the details and nitty gritty of everything would take a novel.
I appreciate the support ladies. This is just another chapter of my life that will either prove me to be a stronger or weaker person. The decision to fight will only mean more of the same for the past ten years where it benefits noone even the children (who I am obviously most concerned about) or the decision to concede where at least we can all have peace for a few years. My oldest son will be 18 in 3 1/2 years. He can do as he chooses as a man at that point and when the boys are men we can discuss how things happened from my perspective. Until then I refuse to say anything negative about their father to them. I will let him look like the vindictive person. Not me.
I have a wonderful husband now that I have been with almost 9 years. I have a beautiful daughter with him and a gorgeous son on the way. I count my blessings and hope that one day the Divine will bring us all back together.
I'm glad you have a plan, and I'm sure you have a great family lawyer. This kind of use of the legal system makes me very angry. Your ability to focus on the positives--your great DH and daughter and almost-here baby--is really inspiring. I wish you the best.