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South Florida Babies
swimming lessons - need advice
Hi ladies. I need some advice re: swimming lessons.
We started Emma in swimming lessons yesterday (she'll be 18 months old in a week and a half or so). A private instructor came to my mom's pool and the lessons were supposed to be a group lesson with Emma and two of her boy cousins (the boys are ages 20 months and 29 months). Emma has been doing GREAT in the pool. She has absolutely no fear of the water. She will easily stick her head under water voluntarily and had even started to do swimming-like motions (although if we let her go for more than a few seconds, she would sink). Anyway, we thought she was totally ready for the lessons.
Well, when we tried to leave her alone with the instructor yesterday (he's an 18 year old guy) she FREAKED out. She was not comfortable being alone with him at all. She generally doesn't do very well with strange guys/men. Really the only men she's totally comfortable with are her dad and grandads...even my brother who she sees almost every single day she's not totally okay with in terms of being alone with him when no one else is around. The instructor wanted to be alone in the pool with the kids and when my husband and I went inside and left her alone out there with him, she just ended up crying the whole time and calling for us and didn't do any swimming or attempts at swimming.
We are going to try again today and do things a little differently. For one thing, the instructor wants to do a few individual lessons with the kids first before we attempt the group lesson again. One of her cousins was crying too so I'm sure that didn't help Emma to feel comfortable. I am hoping that maybe being in the pool alone with the swim instructor and no other crying kids will help her stay more calm. Also, prior to the swimming instructor starting the lesson, Emma was already in the pool with my husband. This afternoon, neither of us is actually going to be there when she starts the lesson. My mom is not going to let her go in the pool until the swim instructor gets there and they're actually ready to start. I am hoping that somehow her love of the water will override her fear of strangers and she'll be willing to be alone with the guy if she sees that it's her only option to get in the pool.
Anyway, I guess what I'm kind of struggling with is that I don't know how far to push her. Obviously if today goes better than yesterday then that will confirm my decision to keep going with the lessons. But what if she has another bad day? The instructor was saying that when he used to work at the swim school Ocaquatics the teachers would sometimes have to switch off because certain kids did better with female instructors and others did better with male instructors. So I guess one option is to try to find a female instructor if things don't work out with this guy. But if things still don't work out after another lesson or two, I am guessing I should just give up on the idea until next summer, right? My main fear is that she will become scared of the water. I would really, really, really HATE for that to happen so if this whole experience is going to traumatize her I'd rather just stop and wait another year for her to have formal lessons.
What do you guys think? Anyone have any similar experiences when your kids started swimming lessons?
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Re: swimming lessons - need advice
I think she's too young to be taking lessons without a parent in the water. I know not everyone agrees with me, but that's my opinion. I was a red cross certified swim teacher for many years and it's not something they endorse at all before age 3. Swimming lessons before age 3 should be fun and should be used so that the kids become comfortable in the water. I know kids learn earlier and there are lots of teachers and places that do things earlier that that, but the red cross theory is that it gives kids and especially parents a false sense of security because before age 3, they are not ready to be alone in the water.
This is the first year Alexis is doing swim lessons without me in the water. I did them with her last summer but I was with her, she screamed for 4 days so I took her out, it was not necessary. She loves the pool and loves the water. I teach her a little here and there and she goes under water, holds her breath and this weekend I had her jumping in, so now I know she's ready for formal "real" lessons. And even if she cries, which she probably will, it's ok because she will get it.
So, that's totally just my opinion, which I know people will disagree with. Do what feels right for you, but know that even if she learns to swim to the edge of the pool it does not mean she can be left alone ever and it does not mean that she would remember or know to do that if she fell in accidentally. There is no such thing as "drown proof".
I agree with Leanna. From the little research I did on swimming instruction, there seems to be a couple of camps with different teaching philosophies. Some are very strict with keeping the parent out of sight. i understand ehy, but Imm not comfortable with that, at least not now while she's so little.
We have a little group doing mommy and me swimming classes at Little Swimmers next month. I like the fact that they'll also be teaching me how to teach her what to do in the water. That way, I can keep practicing with her at home. I'll let you know how it goes. Elise will be the youngest baby at 8 months and the oldest will be 2 years old.
Ditto on the floaties! I don't want her dependent on those. I've seen older kids that still use those because they're terrified of being in the water without them.
Also, the mommy and me group is only for 2 weeks. So, I figured if she needs one-on-one lessons, I'll sign her up for something like that afterwards.