Thoughts on new bedtime drama

Stacyc625 · May 2011

Okay- the last week has been a total PITA with Gisele's bedtime.

Since she turned 11 months we had the same routine- 7am-7pm with a 2hr nap. Religiously- without fail. She has always been SUPER easy with bed time. Never a fuss- so I know we have been SUPER lucky.

However the last week- she has started getting up in the middle of the night (sometimes- crying) <not sure if this has ANYTHING to do with her now being night trained and in panties at night> We just have to go in (usually 2am) when she wakes up- reassure her and help her snuggle back in. 5 min tops.

She has during the same time- started getting up an hour earlier. 6am. I was MUCH less enthusiastic about that (esp since Chase is up at 5:10am most mornings...)

ALSO on top of the early morning wake up (and middle of the night) ~ the mornings she gets up at 6am- she is EXHAUSTED by 1230pm and crashes easily for nap. And whill sleep 1.5hr

going to bed has been HELL! She is indignant- fights on everything- screams for another drink ~ needs another hug ... every stall tactic in the book. So she isn't falling asleep until around 9pm. .... also keeping Chase up with her antics.

So thoughts?

I have tried having her stay up and not nap = HORRIBLE melt down- exhausted- mess

I have tried pushing bed time back to 8-830 = all of the above hell and stalling until 10pm

I have tried RUNNING her out and lots of outside exercise late in the afternoon.

I am seriously hoping this is a phase because it really sucks. So any thoughts- would be GREATLY appreciated.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · May 2011

I know Elliot is a bit younger than G, but we had this happen recently. I wanted to kill myself. He goes to bed at 7:30, and has for a loong time. One night, he wasn't asleep until after 11, and he ended up in my bed that night just so we could all get some sleep. Thankfully, it didn't last too long after I stopped caving into his antics. After I stopped interfering, it was only another couple nights until he completely got it and went back to normal. Are you giving in a lot? Maybe you just need to put your foot down. Either way, sleep problems suck. We've dealt with our fair share and I feel for anyone who has to endure them.

Stacyc625 · May 2011

See- that was my inital thought as well-

she will stop- stay strong stace, don't go in there.

She would FREAK OUT for a good 25 min- and just say the same thing OVER AND OVER again usually, 'I need a drink or I need a hug'

I am not one to give in- but I also can't have what is going on-

After you go in there and either hug her or another glass of water - she USUALLY calms down and goes off-

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · May 2011

Yeah, like I said, we had over 3 hours of that one night. He kept freaking out, I'd eventually cave and go in, it would start all over. Finally, I just said enough is enough. That night, he carried on for probably close to 40 minutes, then finally fell asleep. I think it was that he knew I'd eventually give. So manipulative at this age!

I wish I could offer advice on the night waking, he still does that often so I have no advice for that.

englishviola · May 2011

We are in the midst of something scarily similar right now. DS has been getting up at night several times and "needs" us to put him back to bed. His wake up time has also been inching back to 5:45, 5:30, 5:15. It sucks.

We did a couple of different things -- and the hardest thing for us is to be consistent. First, we put a gate on his doorway. I have mixed feelings about it, but it is working. We don't go to him in the night, even if he cries (unless he's sick or something). It's like CIO for pre-schoolers.

Also, we got one of those clocks that have a sleep picture and a wake up picture, and talked about how he can't leave his room until "the bunny wakes up."

Finally, we've implemented some rewards -- a treat like chocolate chips if he stays in bed all night, and if he does it 4 days in a row we will go to the park.

We are only on night 1 right now. I know that's not a ringing endorsement of our methods but just thought I'd share since I'm trying to solve the same problem.

Liz342 · May 2011

My DD has had major nap issues over the past year. She would get out of her bed constantly and play in her room the whole time. I tried going in every time she got out of bed but it was just insanity. A couple months ago she stood on a snowglobe she got off her dresser during "naptime" and she broke it and sliced her foot open. She has napped almost every day since. She falls asleep within minutes so I know that she needs the sleep and most likely she was just being stubborn before and just didn't want to nap. (I think the injury scared her).

We also have tired telling her that she will get a treat after dinner if she naps and that worked well too. Always fell asleep within minutes. It's a battle of wills for my DD and if she doesn't feel like napping she just isn't going to, weather she's tired or not.

It might not necessarily mean she's getting too much sleep or not tired yet. Maybe she is just being stubborn or possibly she is afraid or something like that? When DH isn't home to help with bedtime like he normally does, DD has a hard time going to sleep. She will cry for me to tell her sweet dreams one more time or something like that. Maybe there was a recent change or blip in her routine?

babypuplove · May 2011

No real advice as we've been going through the same thing with our previously "perfect sleeper." Audrey used to be a 7-7 with 2 hour nap at 1:00, then we took away paci, then it was all downhill from there. Then, over the last two weeks or so she's been randomly waking up in the middle of the night, then crashing for a nap (which she rarely takes anymore) around 3pm, leaving her completely wide awake until 10pm. It's AWFUL, and I wish I knew how to fix it. Also, she has woken up the last two days from her late naps in the worst mood ever. I even recorded her meltdown today and put it on You Tube. It was just too much not to keep in the forever file. ;-)

HarrietNJMommy · May 2011

I was going to suggest using coupons (like the ticket idea above).

We use a sticker chart. The girls get 1 sticker for going to bed nicely and 1 sticker for not coming into our room in the morning. Works like a charm for us. After 12 stickers, we go to the Dollar Store and they get to choose 1 thing.......

GL!

Stacyc625 · May 2011

I really like the sticker thing.

Gisele responds REALLY well to stickers. lol- she loves them- they don't even have to mean anything (treat/gift) for her.

Every week we do a 'helping chart' with stickers and she looooooves adding to her 'helping chart' ~

I am going to give the bedtime stickers a go at it. Definitely can't hurt. this new behavior came out of nowhere!

Thanks everyone- i love this board.

HarrietNJMommy · May 2011

Also, I used a piece of foam type paper (like 16"x20") as our sticker chart. I put their name at the top, and the numbers 1-12. I bought foam stickers and just remove them once we get to 12 and start over. Hope this makes sense.

Stacyc625 · May 2011

HarrietNJMommy:
Also, I used a piece of foam type paper (like 16"x20") as our sticker chart. I put their name at the top, and the numbers 1-12. I bought foam stickers and just remove them once we get to 12 and start over. Hope this makes sense.

totally does. TY- l love it.

emathis2 · May 2011

Your DD is a year older than DS so I'm sure this is just something we haven't experienced yet. If I were you I would give her some slack on the nap. She's 3 and most 3 year olds I know dont nap 2 hours if they even nap at all. As for bedtime that is where I would put my foot down. I would ignore her (I'm so mean!) and I'm sure she will get upset but after a night or two of that she will realize you aren't coming and she will resume STTN. That's how DS is occassionally and if I let him fuss he usually won't do it again the next night or for a while. Hope it improves soon!

Stacyc625 · May 2011

emathis2:
Your DD is a year older than DS so I'm sure this is just something we haven't experienced yet. If I were you I would give her some slack on the nap. She's 3 and most 3 year olds I know dont nap 2 hours if they even nap at all. As for bedtime that is where I would put my foot down. I would ignore her (I'm so mean!) and I'm sure she will get upset but after a night or two of that she will realize you aren't coming and she will resume STTN. That's how DS is occassionally and if I let him fuss he usually won't do it again the next night or for a while. Hope it improves soon!

you can't ignore a screaming 3yo child at 10pm when you have an 8 month old who can't sleep because of it.

Notwifezilla7 · May 2011

It seems like the stickers may be a good thing for you & G. In our house, it wouldn't work, unfortunately. We're a "take away" house. Mo got Jessie from Toy Story for her birthday 4/1 and has slept w/her religiously since- naps & bedtime. The threat of removing her as worked wonders.

FWIW, Mo still naps 2 hours a day at 3 and sleeps 10 plus hours a night.

lilone_06 · May 2011

Stacyc625:

emathis2:
Your DD is a year older than DS so I'm sure this is just something we haven't experienced yet. If I were you I would give her some slack on the nap. She's 3 and most 3 year olds I know dont nap 2 hours if they even nap at all. As for bedtime that is where I would put my foot down. I would ignore her (I'm so mean!) and I'm sure she will get upset but after a night or two of that she will realize you aren't coming and she will resume STTN. That's how DS is occassionally and if I let him fuss he usually won't do it again the next night or for a while. Hope it improves soon!

you can't ignore a screaming 3yo child at 10pm when you have an 8 month old who can't sleep because of it.

Herein lies the problem, right?!?... It's so tough to troubleshoot sleep problems with other LO's in the house. We're going through the same thing and it's awful. Sorry, I have no advice but definitely will keep this thread to implement some of the ideas you got. GL to us both!

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