Interesting- Gender Neutrality? Thoughts?

lovelymissautumn · May 2011

https://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

Found this article on Yahoo today about a couple keeping the sex of their baby a secret from family, and now the world. Interesting. They are trying to keep their baby's options open for whatever he/she would like to associate with gender-wise.

Thoughts?

chargood · May 2011

i think it's stupid. being one gender or the other does help define you. i think people will just feel sorry for the kid. i do. i think he/she will be confused. let them decide to do this when they get older. what's the point? i don't think it helps anything to "pretend" someone is not one gender or the other. i'm having a boy and i want everyone to know it. yes, he will be treated certain ways by society, and the same if he were a girl. but it's not going to go away by hiding the gender. if anything, society will judge this poor child more. the parents are already being judged. i mean, who tries out a social experiment with their child's emotions?!

KendraJoette · May 2011

this was on the bump yesterday, I think it is wrong, will cause identity issues (IMO). I think you can help your child think for themself and how to have self confidence and not worry about what other people think with out keeping their gender a secret.

I think that this family takes it way too far on a lot of levels. I dont care if their little boys want to wear pink every day if that is really what the both just happen to want... but it kinda makes me wonder if mom and dad arent influencing that decision by rewarding non standard behavior rather than being truely neutral.

lovelymissautumn · May 2011

Oops sorry! Didn't know someone else posted about it. Oh well. Yeah I think it's kinda messed up. I understand they don't want their child to have to be bogged down by stereo-types but at the same time they are creating a difficult situation for their little baby. I did a project in a college Psych class about raising children in a gender neutral environment and if it's possible- conclusion was that you would never be able to tell the sex of your child to anyone (since that traditionally influences gender). I think it's sad.

Atalanta0214 · May 2011

I agree with the conclusions of your study. However, I do feel that we tend to over identify gender for kids. I'm not saying that you should hide a baby's gender but I also believe that you should not throw every pink object available and images of princesses to your little girl just because she happens to have a vagina. I also don't think that you should deprive them of certain experiences, like owning tool toys for girls or dolls for boys just because you're afraid it will "confuse them". My parents let me play with whatever toys struck my fancy and did not over decorate my bedroom in feminine ways. As a result I feel I'm a well-rounded young woman who can appreciate identifying with my feminine side, like dressing up just for fun or cooking, and with roles that are generally considered more masculine, like changing the oil on my car and cutting the grass. I intend to do the same for my daughter as I don't want her to feel the need to ever play the role of the helpless woman because that is the image that was thrown in her face since birth. Nor do I believe that she should have to love pink or purple, just because those are "girl" colors. I also believe that if she happens to decide she likes these colors on her own, it will not necessarily mean that she can't be independent.

Okay, enough ranting. Can you tell this is a conversation I've had about 100 times with my MIL who insists that girls can only be girls in a princess filled, overly pink world? Smile

Saltina11 · May 2011

I think the parent are looking for a book deal and their 15 minutes of fame. As soon as that kid can figure out and say that he's a boy or a girl... s/he will.

kxp004 · May 2011

Atalanta0214:

I agree with the conclusions of your study. However, I do feel that we tend to over identify gender for kids. I'm not saying that you should hide a baby's gender but I also believe that you should not throw every pink object available and images of princesses to your little girl just because she happens to have a vagina. I also don't think that you should deprive them of certain experiences, like owning tool toys for girls or dolls for boys just because you're afraid it will "confuse them". My parents let me play with whatever toys struck my fancy and did not over decorate my bedroom in feminine ways. As a result I feel I'm a well-rounded young woman who can appreciate identifying with my feminine side, like dressing up just for fun or cooking, and with roles that are generally considered more masculine, like changing the oil on my car and cutting the grass. I intend to do the same for my daughter as I don't want her to feel the need to ever play the role of the helpless woman because that is the image that was thrown in her face since birth. Nor do I believe that she should have to love pink or purple, just because those are "girl" colors. I also believe that if she happens to decide she likes these colors on her own, it will not necessarily mean that she can't be independent.

Okay, enough ranting. Can you tell this is a conversation I've had about 100 times with my MIL who insists that girls can only be girls in a princess filled, overly pink world?

EXACTLY!!! Being androgynous is actually more healthy than being masculine or feminine...

Kvitale87 · May 2011

Yesterday I could see where they were coming from (kind of but not really I was trying to keep and open mind) but I had only read the first few paragraphs. After reading the entire article for the first time I believe that their "open minded" thinking is going to lead to a very long hard life for all three of their children. being bullied in life is not fun and I will do everything in my power to make sure my son isn't bullied and doesn't do the bullying. These parents are encouraging their children to get made fun of and I think they are terribly misguided.

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