Parents Hid Gender AFTER birth?

KevsLove · May 2011

Um, ok... I'm all for being unique and such but for me the jury's a little out for me on this...

https://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

justme04 · May 2011

Very interesting. Not for me. Unlike what the article claims I'm pretty sure you can get past knowing a person's gender and get to know them.

And their homeschooling technique is interesting too! I'm all for encouoraging a child to use their imagination and curiosity but I think they need a sense of structure to learn things too.

I'd like to read a follow up in a few years and see how everything is going with this family though. New and interesting parenting theories always interest me.

katxattack · May 2011

I have a friend who did this a few years back. I lost contact with him, so I am not sure what ended up with that... kind of odd. And, somewhat scary.

JrsMommy11 · May 2011

I thought the whole point of parenting was to guide a child to be a functioning member of society. That means you have to expose them to society, right? If not how will they know how to deal with the issues they are faced with? You can't change society but you can prepare your little ones for it...or not... Confused

Kvitale87 · May 2011

i understand what they are getting at but it seems quite strange. i have to plans on doing something like that, im very happy to be having a boy!

llcoolay · May 2011

OMG I didnt know someone else posted this! I just posted the same article...craziness

llcoolay · May 2011

There are MUCH better ways to go about teaching your child to be themselves and not get stuck in a "gender role." I find this to be ridiculous and I feel sorry for the children. After all there is a happy medium. To keep your childs sex/gender a secret is creepy and not benificial to your child in becoming a normal member of society. Letting your boys wear dresses and girls clothing is teaching them nothing but how to not fit in to society. Im sorry, but i disagree with this parenting technique....IF you want to even call it a technique. BTW-I was a Sociology major and love these types of discussions.

StefaniePace · May 2011

This is ridiculous! They are going to confuse their poor kid. And I think its interesting that they have two sons.. So basically I am thinking they have a girl. Because why would you raise your third son any different than your other two? They are going to end up with a very gender confused child.

kc192 · May 2011

Oh my gosh.

"'Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!." she wrote in an email"

Uh, I hate to break it to the parents but the child is ALREADY either a boy or a girl. I'm not going to judge if they put their boy in a dress or whatever but seriously? they're acting like they kid is a-sexual until s/he makes a decision about it!

kxp004 · May 2011

Seriously? They are going to "confuse" their child? Come on now...Society creates ideas about how each SEX (not gender----gender is a social construct) should behave... Before y'all are so judgmental perhaps you should do some ACTUAL research on (1) the true definitions of sex and gender (which are different) (2) how and when children learn their gender roles and how it affects their daily lives (3) the prevalence of gender roles in the media (4) how gender roles create sex scripts and (5) how sex roles correlate with victimization and perpetration

here are just some of the articles (the numbers correlate with scientific journals that support the statements I made)...and before someone says you find research that supports any statement, some of these studies list other studies that date back into the 1940s....and yes, I did specialize in sex and gender roles in college, PM me if you want more resources...

(1) While often used synonymously, ?sex? and ?gender? are distinctly different concepts (Pickard & Strough, 2003; Pryzgoda & Chrisler, 2000). Sex is defined by anatomy, while gender is a socially constructed status that is achieved through social and cultural definitions of behavior that is appropriate for each respective sex (Pryzgoda & Chrisler, 2000; Woodhill & Samuels, 2003)

Pickard, J. & Strough, J. (2003). The effects of same-sex and other-sex contexts on masculinity and femininity. Sex Roles, 48 (9/10), 421-432.

Pryzgoda, J. & Chrisler, J. C. (2000). Definitions of gender and sex: The subtleties of meaning. Sex Roles, 43, 553?569.

Woodhill, B.M. & Samuels, C.A. (2003). Positive and negative androgyny and their relationship with psychological health and well-being. Sex Roles, 48 (11/12), 555-565.

(2) Important predictors of behavior, children learn their gender-based roles at a very young age (Adler et al., 1992; Carter & Patterson, 1982; Kuhn et al., 1978; Marantz & Mansfield, 1977; Miller & Budd, 1999; O?Brien et al., 2000; Thompson, 1975). Although previous studies have reported that children learned appropriate gender roles by kindergarten, research demonstrates that children are able to recognize gender roles even earlier (by the age of two) (Kuhn et al., 1978; O?Brien et al., 2000; Thompson, 1975).

Adler, P., Kless, S., & Adler, P. (1992). Socialization to gender roles: Popularity among elementary school boys and girls. Sociology of Education, 65, 169-187.

Carter, D.B., & Patterson, C.J. (1982). Sex roles as social conventions: The development of children?s conceptions of sex-role stereotypes. Developmental Psychology, 18, 812-824.

Kuhn, D., Nash, S., & Brucken, L. (1978). Sex role concepts of two- and three-year-olds. Child Development, 49 (2), 445-451.

Marantz, S. & Mansfield, A. (1977). Maternal employment and the development of sex role stereotyping in five- to eleven-year-old girls. Child Development, 48 (2), 668-673.

Miller, L. & Budd, J. (1999). The development of occupational sex-role stereotypes occupational preferences and academic subject preferences in children at ages 8, 12, and 16. Educational Psychology, 19 (1), 17-35

O'Brien, M., Peyton, V., Mistry, R., Hruda, 1., Jacobs, A., Caldera, Y., Huston, A., & Roy, C. (2000). Gender-role cognition in three year old boys and girls. Sex Roles, 42 (1l/12), 1007-1025.

Thompson, S.K. (1975). Gender labels and early sex role development. Child Development, 46 (2), 339-347.

(3) Many studies show that media is ranked among the top three ways of gaining information about sexuality (e.g., Andre, Frevert & Schuchmann, 1989; Kaiser Family Foundation & Children Now, 1997).

Andre, T., Frevert, R. L., & Schuchmann, D. (1989). From whom have college students learned what about sex? Youth and Society, 20, 241?268.

Barner, M.R. (1999). Sex-role stereotyping in FCC-mandated children's educational television. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 43 (4), 551-554.

Kaiser Family Foundation & Children Now. (1997) Talking with kids about tough issues: A national survey. Palo Alto, CA: Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation.

(4) Sex scripts are general ideas about how both sexes should act during a dating, sexual, or interpersonal situation. Broadly speaking, sex scripts detail who should pay for the meal on a date, provide transportation, and even initiate sex (see Franklin, 2008) Therefore, teaching young children gender role adherence contributes to the formation and reinforcement of sex scripts, which may have adverse consequences, including unrealistic expectations about intimacy.

Franklin, C.A. (2008). College women?s delayed behavioral responses to a sexually risky situation: How long does she stay? Paper presented at the 2008 annual meeting of the American Society of Criminology, November, St. Louis, MI.

(5) For example, because boys are taught to be masculine, and positioned as superior (Johnson, 2005), men may feel entitled to sex, and sexual assault may be more readily dismissed (Check & Malamuth, 1983; Schwartz & DeKeseredy, 1997). In addition, boys who are taught to adhere to traditional gender roles face an increased likelihood of misinterpreting the sexual intent of a woman and may be more likely to force sex (Check & Malamuth, 1983; Jacques-Tiura, Abbey, Parkhill & Zawacki, 2007).

Check, J.V.P. & Malamuth, N.M. (1983). Sex role stereotyping and reactions to depictions of stranger versus acquaintance rape. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45(2), 344-356.

Jacques-Tiura, A.J., Abbey, A., Parkhill, M.R., & Zawacki, T. (2007). Why do some men misperceive women's sexual intentions more frequently than others do? An application of the confluence model. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33, 1467-1480.

Johnson, A.G. (2005). The gender knot: Unraveling our patriarchal legacy. Philidelphia: Temple University Press.

Schwartz, M. & DeKeseredy, W. (1997). Sexual assault on the college campus: The role of male peer support. London: Thousand Oaks.

Amya · May 2011

Definitely a bit strange... Tongue Tied

kacelle · May 2011

kxp004:
Seriously? They are going to "confuse" their child? Come on now...Society creates ideas about how each SEX (not gender----gender is a social construct) should behave... Before y'all are so judgmental perhaps you should do some ACTUAL research on (1) the true definitions of sex and gender (which are different) (2) how and when children learn their gender roles and how it affects their daily lives (3) the prevalence of gender roles in the media (4) how gender roles create sex scripts and (5) how sex roles correlate with victimization and perpetration
here are just some of the articles (the numbers correlate with scientific journals that support the statements I made)...and before someone says you find research that supports any statement, some of these studies list other studies that date back into the 1940s....and yes, I did specialize in sex and gender roles in college, PM me if you want more resources...
(1) While often used synonymously, ?sex? and ?gender? are distinctly different concepts (Pickard & Strough, 2003; Pryzgoda & Chrisler, 2000). Sex is defined by anatomy, while gender is a socially constructed status that is achieved through social and cultural definitions of behavior that is appropriate for each respective sex (Pryzgoda & Chrisler, 2000; Woodhill & Samuels, 2003)
Pickard, J. & Strough, J. (2003). The effects of same-sex and other-sex contexts on masculinity and femininity. Sex Roles, 48 (9/10), 421-432.
Pryzgoda, J. & Chrisler, J. C. (2000). Definitions of gender and sex: The subtleties of meaning. Sex Roles, 43, 553?569.
Woodhill, B.M. & Samuels, C.A. (2003). Positive and negative androgyny and their relationship with psychological health and well-being. Sex Roles, 48 (11/12), 555-565.

(2) Important predictors of behavior, children learn their gender-based roles at a very young age (Adler et al., 1992; Carter & Patterson, 1982; Kuhn et al., 1978; Marantz & Mansfield, 1977; Miller & Budd, 1999; O?Brien et al., 2000; Thompson, 1975). Although previous studies have reported that children learned appropriate gender roles by kindergarten, research demonstrates that children are able to recognize gender roles even earlier (by the age of two) (Kuhn et al., 1978; O?Brien et al., 2000; Thompson, 1975).
Adler, P., Kless, S., & Adler, P. (1992). Socialization to gender roles: Popularity among elementary school boys and girls. Sociology of Education, 65, 169-187.
Carter, D.B., & Patterson, C.J. (1982). Sex roles as social conventions: The development of children?s conceptions of sex-role stereotypes. Developmental Psychology, 18, 812-824.
Kuhn, D., Nash, S., & Brucken, L. (1978). Sex role concepts of two- and three-year-olds. Child Development, 49 (2), 445-451.
Marantz, S. & Mansfield, A. (1977). Maternal employment and the development of sex role stereotyping in five- to eleven-year-old girls. Child Development, 48 (2), 668-673.
Miller, L. & Budd, J. (1999). The development of occupational sex-role stereotypes occupational preferences and academic subject preferences in children at ages 8, 12, and 16. Educational Psychology, 19 (1), 17-35
O'Brien, M., Peyton, V., Mistry, R., Hruda, 1., Jacobs, A., Caldera, Y., Huston, A., & Roy, C. (2000). Gender-role cognition in three year old boys and girls. Sex Roles, 42 (1l/12), 1007-1025.
Thompson, S.K. (1975). Gender labels and early sex role development. Child Development, 46 (2), 339-347.

(3) Many studies show that media is ranked among the top three ways of gaining information about sexuality (e.g., Andre, Frevert & Schuchmann, 1989; Kaiser Family Foundation & Children Now, 1997).
Andre, T., Frevert, R. L., & Schuchmann, D. (1989). From whom have college students learned what about sex? Youth and Society, 20, 241?268.
Barner, M.R. (1999). Sex-role stereotyping in FCC-mandated children's educational television. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 43 (4), 551-554.
Kaiser Family Foundation & Children Now. (1997) Talking with kids about tough issues: A national survey. Palo Alto, CA: Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation.

(4) Sex scripts are general ideas about how both sexes should act during a dating, sexual, or interpersonal situation. Broadly speaking, sex scripts detail who should pay for the meal on a date, provide transportation, and even initiate sex (see Franklin, 2008) Therefore, teaching young children gender role adherence contributes to the formation and reinforcement of sex scripts, which may have adverse consequences, including unrealistic expectations about intimacy.
Franklin, C.A. (2008). College women?s delayed behavioral responses to a sexually risky situation: How long does she stay? Paper presented at the 2008 annual meeting of the American Society of Criminology, November, St. Louis, MI.

(5) For example, because boys are taught to be masculine, and positioned as superior (Johnson, 2005), men may feel entitled to sex, and sexual assault may be more readily dismissed (Check & Malamuth, 1983; Schwartz & DeKeseredy, 1997). In addition, boys who are taught to adhere to traditional gender roles face an increased likelihood of misinterpreting the sexual intent of a woman and may be more likely to force sex (Check & Malamuth, 1983; Jacques-Tiura, Abbey, Parkhill & Zawacki, 2007).
Check, J.V.P. & Malamuth, N.M. (1983). Sex role stereotyping and reactions to depictions of stranger versus acquaintance rape. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45(2), 344-356.
Jacques-Tiura, A.J., Abbey, A., Parkhill, M.R., & Zawacki, T. (2007). Why do some men misperceive women's sexual intentions more frequently than others do? An application of the confluence model. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33, 1467-1480.
Johnson, A.G. (2005). The gender knot: Unraveling our patriarchal legacy. Philidelphia: Temple University Press.
Schwartz, M. & DeKeseredy, W. (1997). Sexual assault on the college campus: The role of male peer support. London: Thousand Oaks.

My major is human development, with a specialty in child development. I do understand the difference in sex and gender, and I don't support forcing specific attributes on children based on sex. However, taking away a child's sexual identity isn't necessarily the best way to prevent sex-specific treatment. The older siblings seem to be able to separate sex and gender and to make decisions for themselves without denying that they are biologically male.

kxp004 · May 2011

kacelle:
kxp004:

Seriously? They are going to "confuse" their child? Come on now...Society creates ideas about how each SEX (not gender----gender is a social construct) should behave... Before y'all are so judgmental perhaps you should do some ACTUAL research on (1) the true definitions of sex and gender (which are different) (2) how and when children learn their gender roles and how it affects their daily lives (3) the prevalence of gender roles in the media (4) how gender roles create sex scripts and (5) how sex roles correlate with victimization and perpetration

here are just some of the articles (the numbers correlate with scientific journals that support the statements I made)...and before someone says you find research that supports any statement, some of these studies list other studies that date back into the 1940s....and yes, I did specialize in sex and gender roles in college, PM me if you want more resources...

Shortened..

My major is human development, with a specialty in child development. I do understand the difference in sex and gender, and I don't support forcing specific attributes on children based on sex. However, taking away a child's sexual identity isn't necessarily the best way to prevent sex-specific treatment. The older siblings seem to be able to separate sex and gender and to make decisions for themselves without denying that they are biologically male.

I'm not agreeing that this is the BEST way, but people shouldn't be so judgy if they don't know all the theory behind it, and regardles of the parents not "forcing specific attributes", media and society will still create social constructs for the child if they know the sex...

Eskijewels · May 2011

totally reminds me of baby x....

https://www.sa.ucsb.edu/women/blog/file.axd?file=2011%2F4%2FBabyX.pdf

megan_gardner_10 · May 2011

Society will always create social constructs for everything. Society will give that child a "role" or expect certain things from him/her no matter what and some of those roles will be based on lots of other things, many of which are more important than gender. I'm not saying it's always right but it's the way the world works. These parents can't change that but they can prepare their child and teach him/her that he/she doesn't have to conform or fall into these roles. Confusing "it" doesn't seem like the best way to do that. Seems like they're more worried about making a statement to us (society) than actually teaching their children an important lesson.

llcoolay · May 2011

megan_gardner_10:
Society will always create social constructs for everything. Society will give that child a "role" or expect certain things from him/her no matter what and some of those roles will be based on lots of other things, many of which are more important than gender. I'm not saying it's always right but it's the way the world works. These parents can't change that but they can prepare their child and teach him/her that he/she doesn't have to conform or fall into these roles. Confusing "it" doesn't seem like the best way to do that. Seems like they're more worried about making a statement to us (society) than actually teaching their children an important lesson.

Well said and agreed!

izzyjenni · May 2011

All I can say is that I don't know my child's gender right now because we choose to be team green BUT it is very confusing to me to not know what to call him or her. I am constantly saying Baby R or little one or it. I mean seriously, I am VERY excited to find out if my baby is a boy or a girl. To each their own, but for me personally, I will be announcing whether my child is a boy or girl. If down the road, my child decides that they identify with one gender over the other opposite of what they were biologically born as, I will be very accepting of how they want to live; male or female.

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