February 2011 Moms

Non-clicky family planning poll

Because the board has been slow..

1. How many children would you like to have? Why?

2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"

3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?



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Re: Non-clicky family planning poll

  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why? I want 3; I'd even be willing to consider a fourth.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" Not lately. DH is worried about finances mostly, and definitely wants 2, but is still a little unsure about 3.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come? If I end up having more c-sections, we will discuss getting my tubes tied while I'm in the OR, but I won't consider this unless we both agree on it and feel a sense of completion. If I'm unsure, I'll wait and possibly ask DH to get snipped later, when we're ready to be done for sure.

    ETA: Forgot the "why" in Q1: I am the oldest of 3 and LOVED having 2 siblings growing up. We have always been close, and I would love for DS to have the same experience.



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  • 1) I don't want any more. DD is enough and it takes up SO much energy to care for her.  Not to mention the amount of financial stress involved.  I do enjoy sleep and having time to myself, but caring for DD all the time with H at work and me keeping everything up to par at home AND working myself is a little much right now.  And (don't hurt me) I really don't like kids.  At all lol

    2) H probably wants more.  Whenever anyone mentions more he says 'not right now' so I'm thinking he still really just wants to have a little boy.  UGH.

    3)I think when I've got a better foundation/career under me that H and I will have an actual talk about more or not.  We're young so I'm not going to say 'absolutely not' if he REALLY wants one more.  Haven't thought about what to do if he agrees with 'no more' yet.

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  • imageAviee:

    And (don't hurt me) I really don't like kids.  At all lol

    Haha, I have a friend who feels the same way, and she has two daughters. She was so psyched to get past the baby stages and into the "little lady" stuff.

    Curious.. was DD planned? Most people I know who say they don't like kids but have them, had them by surprise. :)



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  • imagesbuxsweetie:

    Because the board has been slow..

    1. How many children would you like to have? Why?

    I would love to have 2-3. Right now we can only afford one, though, so I hope one day in the next few years we can move on to two. 

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" Yes

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?

    I don't want to do anything to permanently prevent babies, because I would always wonder if I would change my mind. Then I couldn't do anything about it.

  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why?

    I always wanted 3 - but after we lost our first daughter I think I am really happy with just one.  I don't think I could handle the stress of another pregnancy - I was so stressed this pregnancy that the same thing would happen and didn't enjoy it.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"

    We are both happy with things how they are now.  But he was never on board for 3 only 2.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?

    In a few years when we are positive we aren't going to have more kids and are old enough that insurance will pay for one of us to do something permanent then we will.

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  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why?  I would like to have 2 children.  Possibly three.  I like kids, I think they're great and I'm excited to watch them grow and learn.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"  We're on the same page about two,  yes.  DH has another child from a previous marriage so doesn't want a third.  I think the financial situation will play a big role in whether or not there's a third baby.  Also, my health, since I got severe pre-e with my first, I feel like if I have another difficult medical condition with number two, we might stop.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?  We will likely get DH snipped.  It's easier and, honestly, I don't want to get my tubes tied.  I don't know if we'll know whether or not we're done.  There are days now when I think I'm all done, but I know we're not.

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  • imagesbuxsweetie:
    imageAviee:

    And (don't hurt me) I really don't like kids.  At all lol

    Haha, I have a friend who feels the same way, and she has two daughters. She was so psyched to get past the baby stages and into the "little lady" stuff.

    Curious.. was DD planned? Most people I know who say they don't like kids but have them, had them by surprise. :)

    Definitely not planned lol but it's not her fault so I try to make her ridiculously happy.

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  • imagesbuxsweetie:

    Because the board has been slow..

    1. How many children would you like to have? Why? 4.  I love the fact my boys are such close friends.  I would like to have another one in a year or two so DD has that oportunity for a close sibling as well.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" We are both on the same page.  We are not 100% sure of one more, but that is what we both want.  It will come down to finances and stuff.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come? My Dr. recomends using Minera until going into menapause but we might get DH snipped just as a percaution.  We will know we are done having natural kids after the next one.  4 is plenty for us and there is always adoption/fostering.   

  • imagesbuxsweetie:

    Because the board has been slow..

    1. How many children would you like to have? Why?

    If money wasn't an issue I'd have 4 or 5, but with the financial situation we're in now it wouldn't be fair to the kids. I want to be able to give them a certain kind of life and I just wouldn't be able to afford that with 4 or 5 kids, so I think we'll stop at 2. DH doesn't want 3 because he hates the idea of someone being a middle child, because he was and he thinks it was hard. I think he's crazy. lol

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"

    We are. I think 2 is a good number and I know that if I really wanted a third he'd be ok with that too. I think he's all talk about not wanting 3 because he loves babies and kids so much.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?

    If we do anything DH will get snipped. He actually volunteered for to have it done. We like that it can be reversed if we ever change our minds so it doesn't feel so permanent.

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  •  

    1. How many children would you like to have? Why?
    4 but if I am not a VBAC candidate we will stop at 3, possible 2. I do not want to put myself at risk just to have more children.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"
    He doesn't really care. He gets the deer and headlights like when I tell him 4 children though, lol.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?
    Truthfully, and some may not agree, but I would love to look into just getting rid of my uterus. Between the endo and pmdd it can make life really hard sometimes and it can affect my relationship with people, especially MH.

    No idea when we will know when are done though. Maybe we get that feeling when you know your family is complete.

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  • 1. Just one!  We are big into travel and would like to be able to take DD with us - but feel like 2 would make it so hard.  Plus there's the financial side of it - and we don't know if we'd even be able to conceive again (DD was conceived via IUI).  Also, I'm already 35 and would feel like we'd need to start trying again soon and we are SOOOO not ready for that yet. 

    2. Yes, we are 100% on the same page

    3. DH was told he can't get me pregnant (well, the Dr said it would be like winning the lottery...twice) So, he doesn't think we need to use any BC.  I'm still thinking of doing something just in case since we REALLY don't want anymore babies.  We love DD, but we really are built to be parents of one. =)

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  • 1. How many children would you like to have? at this moment in time, DH & I are both completely content with one.  Why? b/c kids are a h*ll of a lotta work and we are selfish in some respects, namely this one. 

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" yes, totally insync.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? doubtful.  How do you think you'll know when you're done? good question- I don't know, I haven't thought about it too much.  I think it'll be instinctual- like right now, I don't feel the urge to have another....however, DS is still so new, so I'm open to that mindset changing for current and potential future babies.  If you're not planning on having any more, how come? see #1 Big Smile

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  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why?
    Just the one. We just really feel that this will be the best fit for our family. It will allow us more time with DS, more travel, resources, more space. We also both grew up with same sex siblings close in age and neither of us had great relationships as kids. We know that siblings don't always equal best friends/confidants. 2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"
    Yes, definitely.3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?
    DH has already volunteered to get the snip so I'll probably take him up on that. We decided on one child before we had DS and our experience with him has absolutely confirmed our decision. I'm sure one day I'll miss how teeny tiny he was but I would never want to relive what we went through with him in the first few months. 
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  • laurapalmer - you sound just like us!  So good to hear others with the same plans for just one.  We get judged a lot for our decision...but we know its right for us!  What was funny was how many people said to us before she was born - once you have one you'll change your mind...and it just confirmed it for us too.  We adore DD, but man, these first months are rough. 
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  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why?

    We want 2 earth babies and we may consider a 3rd.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"

    Yes

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?

    I will not do anything permanent nor will I stay on BC. He's fertile every day and I'm only fertile for a day or two out of the month. He can get snipped or use condoms.


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  • 1. We'd like 3.  We both are the youngest in familes of 3, so I guess it feels like the right number.  Honestly though, we want at least one of each flavor, so if by chance we ended up with 3 girls, we'd probably try for a 4th.

    2. Yes.  I thought we might change our minds after the first, but we're still sticking to it.

    3. I have no idea if we'll do anything permanent.  We haven't talked about it, I guess because it's several years and several pregnancies down the road.

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  • I like this thread..

    imagesbuxsweetie:

    Because the board has been slow..

    1. How many children would you like to have? I would like to have 2, but I might be talked into 3.  Why? I am the oldest of 3 and I love my brothers. I always wanted a sister so if I have a DS next then I may try for a 3rd.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" Yes, he wants at least 2, but he wants the second one now, I am not ready yet.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come? Honestly it took us so long to get pg I can't see us doing anything permanent, but maybe. I think I would just use an IUD.

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  • imagesbuxsweetie:

    Because the board has been slow..

    1. How many children would you like to have? Why? our original plan was to have 3 children. IDK why just sounded like a right number

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" we were on the same page. then MH said we were only having 2. I still wanted 3 in case #2 was not a girl.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come? #2 was a girl and my PG was kind of rough so right now we are both in agreeance that we are done having children. I have an appt in July to discuss the different ways that a tubal ligation can be done. I really don;t want to take BCP or anything hormonal and I'm not too confident in an IUD. We have a 3 bedroom house and now all the bedrooms are full and we do not want any of our children sharing rooms. we are financially stable and a 3rd child would make it difficult to do things as a family.

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  • 1) I want 3-4. 

    2) Dh feels the same. we are planning for 3 and if we feel we are financially stable for another or that we do not feel complete he is on board for another. We both want a big family and both come from big families.

    3) He will probably get snipped when we decide we are finished. I refuse to go on BCP ever again. 

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  • imagesbuxsweetie:

    Because the board has been slow..

    1. How many children would you like to have? Why? I want 3.  DH and I are both 1 of 3 children.  I think it's a good amount.

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?"  Haha well... DH is terrified that we'll only have girls.  Also, right now he only wants 2 kids.  My thought process is, if the next one is another girl, we are probably done.  But, if we have a boy next, then I think he'd be more open to a 3rd.

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come?

    I guess if I end up having more c-sections then I'll get my tubes tied.  If I am able to do VBAC then hopefully I can convince DH to get a vasectomy.

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  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why? I use to want as many as God gave me since I have PCOS, but after this one.. We are one and done. Unless God has other plans that I am not aware of:)

    2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" Yes we are

    3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any more, how come? Nope I would never do anything permanent beacuse you never know.

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  • 1. How many children would you like to have? Why? I want 4+. Apparently I'm a minority around here :) I love the baby stage and even though it is remarkably difficult, every time I look at DS I can't wait to have more babies. I was one of two, and while it was a warm and loving home I grew up in, I always wanted more siblings. If I can have more, I'd love to. 2. Are you and SO on the same page about the "magic number?" Dh started out being okay with one and now that we have DS he's on board for two. He was one of three and his parents let his older two siblings tease him relentlessly, so he is scared a third or fourth would be odd man out. I think if I can help him to see how we will parent differently, he may be willing for more. 3. Will you, at any point, do something permanent to prevent more babies? How do you think you'll know when you're done? If you're not planning on having any?more, how come? Once we have decided we are done, dh will get the snip. I also will never go on bcp again.
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  • 1. I think just two. I have always felt like I don't want to be outnumbered between children and adults, in all honesty. Plus, I'm not sure if we can afford more than that.

    2. For the most part. I know DH wants more, I think he wants 3, and I guess it's possible, but we at least definitely agree on at least 2.

    3. Absolutely. DH is getting the snip. I think we'll just know when it's the time.

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    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

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