- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 6 - 9 Months
write2nicole
member
SIL frustration just got worse
write2nicole
member
The past few days, I've been venting nightly about SIL and our upcoming family vacation. For the most part, it's frustrating and I just try to laugh at how ridiculous it gets. But now it's gotten pretty serious.
Today, DH called SIL to work out some details for our trip this week. (He wanted to know what night she and BIL wanted to have MIL babysit so we could pick a different night.) Well, after they sorted that out, she basically told DH he was stressing everyone out trying to plan everything down to the minute and it turned into a huge fight.
Later this afternoon, MIL called him and asked us to come over for dinner to "air things out" before our trip. We got there, and it was apparent that they wanted to scold DH for trying to control everyone's schedule. We explained that was never his intent, and I think they understood. But through the course of discussion, it became apparent that over the last year, every time we can't do things the way SIL wants, she's been calling MIL to complain about us.
I really feel like (a) SIL has now crossed over from obnoxious and controlling to BSC and (b) I'm worried that this may be affecting our relationship (especially DH's) with MIL and FIL. We really don't know what she's been saying, but we know it's something, and I get the feeling MIL has been believing it. And I'm just really sad. I'm sad for DH and I'm sad for Mac.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SIL frustration just got worse
Oh no! That?s horrible.
Everyone knows my SIL is BSC so when she goes off everyone just nods and then ignores her for the most part. MIL has stopped speaking to her on our behalf at the time, unbeknownst to us at the time.
I wish I had advice. Is there any way you can have your MIL confirm stories with your DH if she hears anything from SIL? She really shouldn?t be brought into it at all, naturally. That?s such bulllshit!
On another note, I would love to get together with you and your fam some day, but I'm really not into scheduling every last minute.
...to soon?
Tonight MIL sounded shocked to hear that there even was a different side of the story. It's odd because usually she's been understanding that SIL is obnoxious and controlling. Tonight, she was just acting surprised at everything. That's part of what clued us in to the fact that SIL has been saying a lot about us that we haven't heard.
I'm really hoping seeing the drastically different side tonight will clue her in not to just accept things on face value. But honestly, I thought that was common sense, so I don't know.
Was SIL there?
ILY
Thanks, Renc!
And thanks, Ashton, for the zombie hugs. ILY2!
You're welcome! I'm on Team Bailey. She always gives good advice.
Ugh that sucks.
It reminds me of the time that I told my sister that for Mother's Day we probably weren't going to eat lunch at my mom's because we had to go to MIL's for Mother's Day as well and they had a mid-afternoon (like 1:30/2:00) meal planned. She flipped out on me and called my MIL a bunch of names (mind you, she's met her once, and my MIL is one of the sweetest ladies I know), and hung up on me. She then turned around and called my mom and "tattled". I had briefly thought about calling my mom about the whole thing, but decided that I wasn't going to air the fight my sister had picked to her. She didn't need to think about that or get stressed out (she has major medical problems). But my sister doesn't think like that.
My mom just kind of did the whole "uh huh, it's ok, jen, calm down" to my sister. She completely understands and knows that I have 2 mothers now and would like to spend time on Mother's Day with both of them.
Turns out my sister was possibly losing her job (she didn't), and was just unusually stressed out as well as drinking, but the whole thing still wasn't necessarily called for. She also pulls something overly dramatic once a year or every couple of years when things aren't going her way. Ugh, I have lots of these kinds of stories.
I think it's good that you and DH haven't dragged your ILs into the SIL drama so far, and I think that your ILs probably picked up on the fact that what SIL =/= anything resembling to truth. Me, personally, I don't like to play those kind of games with my ILs, so I'd be itching to confront SIL next time I saw her. But if she's BSC, I don't know what good it will do. Maybe just have your DH re-emphasize that your MIL and FIL can call him up and question anything SIL has to say, and he will be more than happy to confirm or deny.
Family drama is the worst kind of drama. **hugs** Hang in there!