Working Moms
are you social with/at work?
I only work part time, so in my case I'm horribly unsocial. I just don't have time to have water cooler conversations about stuff, or go to lunch with co-workers. Part of me misses it, because I am so out of the "loop" and I think people think I'm aloof because I can never make it to any of the staff parties.
But the other side of me says, "who cares?' and I think some people are TOO social at work to begin with. At least I come and get my stuff done and leave. But it's a delicate balance. I try to attend a few things, even if it means having to make extra childcare arrangements.
Are you social? Do you go to things after-hours?
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Re: are you social with/at work?
our company really doesn't do anything social after hours. and i don't hang out with the people i work with outside of work.
During work hours i do have friends and try to have one-on-one personal conversations with them. but i keep it short and infrequent (maybe weekly?). it may just be a passing 'how is your DH doing after surgery?" or a catch up conversation. I also just organized our (small) department's potluck Mondays. Our company could use some friendliness.
see, my department/organization is mostly young, mostly single (and/or childrenless, or if they do have kids, they're all older) and it's mostly open spaces. so there is a LOT of "water cooler conversations". Like, there is a huge halloween party this afternoon for our staff (they have tons of events like this) but I'm not going since i work mornings.
Sometimes it makes me feel bad....I get over it pretty quickly. I just wondered if anyone else feels this way
Nothing against my co-workers but I don't socialize much at work. I complete my work, I am cordial with everyone and attend the work functions during business hours.
I do not socialize after hours, I really do not see the point it's MY time and I prefer to do MY own thing on MY time.I have developed a friendship with one of my co-workers so we talk more often.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I work from home most of the time, so there is zero water cooler conversation or after-work get togethers
But the weeks that I'm in the office, I make a point to participate in all that stuff. First of all, it's easier because I don't have DD to come home to. (My office is out of state.) Second of all, I know that networking is critically important to my career. What seems like idle chit-chat or gossip is actually building relationships that will help me get ahead. I know it's especially important for me because about 75% of my team does work out of the office (the rest work from home like me) and so they get that relationship-building on a daily basis. I have to make it all up in just one week a month.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
i am social when i have time, but i have to leave by 5:15 b/c of daycare. Others will stay till 6:00 every night because they talked the day away. I get my stuff done and get out of there.
i do go out to lunch with friends at work. The only after hours thing i do is the Christmas dinner. We get off early that day, and it is a very big deal to our boss.
I would say I am pretty unsocial, especially after having DS. I don't go to any after-hours social events, because I need to get home, cook dinner, and put DS to bed. I don't go out to lunch with anybody, even though a lot of people go out everyday, for three reasons - eating out everyday is unhealthy, expensive, and I prefer to spend my lunch hour with my son at daycare. He is the best lunch date ever!
I feel pretty out of the loop there sometimes, but ultimately, my job is just how I make money, whereas my family is my life
)
I always try to be fairly social AT work. I'll usually chat with people if we're in the kitchen together, and I try to stop in the events we have during work hours (we have retirement parties, receptions for new associates, etc. that are during the work day). I used to go to happy hours and stuff, and honestly I kind of wish I still could but I'm the one that has to do daycare pick-ups so it just doesn't work out unless I make arrangements way in advance, and happy hours are usually a last minute kind of thing around my work.
I haven't attended the last two company outings because we couldn't find childcare, and I feel a little bad about that because my firm does encourage participation in those kind of things, but oh well. Luckily we do have our Christmas party and those other events during the work day so I can always attend those.
I try to balance my time and spending money on lunch. I don't want to work unnecessary OT because I was chatting all day and I try to bring my lunch to save money. But I also know that I need to keep social, so I make a point to go out a couple days a week and make a point to be social throughout the day.
That said, I do not like after work events. It's hard to say no all the time, but I get only 1-2 precious hours a day with DD.