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Georgia Babies
I'm dying with the crying :(
T cries before every nap and most nights before bed. We did Ferber months ago and he learned to fall asleep on his own and for a solid month it was gold at night. He has never ever taken to naps. He cries, even if it is a weak wimper, for 99% of them. I have talked to my pedi and all the nurses and they all say that it just sounds like a baby and eventually he will get it. My husband isn't bothered by it because he says "he is fed, clean, healthy, and safe". Well, it must be instinct or something but I am dying here. I wish there was something I could do differently but we've tried pretty much everything. There was a time when he was skipping naps completely when I longed for him to just be crying for 5-10 minutes each time - well I got my wish. And it sucks. I think it is extra hard because I work from home and even though it is our nanny actually putting him down I hear him cry.
Was it like this for anyone else? Do you agree with my pedi? Should I talk to someone else about what to do?
Sigh. I don't even know what it is like for other moms. Like, do babies just let you put them in the crib, talk to themselves, and fall asleep?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm dying with the crying :(
Sorry you are having so much problems with naps. John was not a good napper either. I honestly knew nothing about baby sleep habits when I had John & doing some reading really helped me. I read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy baby. It gives great tips on how to soothe, when naps should etc.. you could also check out Moms On Call. They have a great online tutorial and if things are REALLY bad you can have a in home visit. Hang in there and try not to get too fustrated.
I'm so sorry Robin, I know how hard it is. Max was never a good napper/sleeper. But at 11, yes, 11 months we FINALLY did CIO. From then on he did awesome. And by awesome I mean slept through the night, and 45-1 hr. naps. (prior to that his naps were 15-30 min.) Now, at 21 months he lets us put him in the crib and falls asleep on his own. And finally we have some naps as long as 2.5 hrs. But mostly 1.5 hrs. But, oh, how I dreaded the no nap stage.
I don't think anything is wrong, he just hasn't gotten the hang of it. I know it sucks, believe me, I tried everything. Hopefully he will fall into a nap habit soon. GL.
How long ago did you do Ferber? Can you try doing it again, just with naps? I nurse E before her naps and sometimes she falls asleep while nursing, sometimes she doesn't and I put her down sleepy but awake. If the latter, she often will cry for a bit. I have found that the key to her going down easy as well as staying asleep for a decent amount of time is catching her before she gets over tired. If I can time it right, the crying is really minimized.
All that being said - yes, I let her cry. I know she can put her self to sleep, so if it comes to it, I will let her cry until that happens. Sometimes if I put her down awake she will just do some minimal fussing and half-hearted crying. Sometimes she will scream bloody murder. If the bloody murder screaming goes on too long I will often go back in and try to feed her a bit more and typically that will fix the problem. I try not to do that unless she is *really* upset though since I definitely think she is getting to the age to be able to figure out how to manipulate the situation to get what she wants (not in a bad way, but I know from my puppy training days how quickly 10 week old puppies can learn bad habits by positive reinforcement, and I like to give my 7month old credit for being at least as smart as a 10 week old puppy).
Sorry he is having a hard time. It took both of my kids a while, but they are great sleepers now. Don't be so hard on yourself - I am always in awe of people that can do CIO that early. I think we waited until 7 or 8 months or so with Hayden and 20 months with C (total 1st time parents!!). It was too hard for me to hear! For us, naps weren't as much of a struggle as the nights were though.
I think following a strict routine is very helpful, having a white noise machine, etc. I will say that after they become more mobile and are spending more energy it gets easier bc they are too tired to fight it.
Sleep is so trial and error and each kid is completely different. Just when you think it's going great, they inevitably go through a growth or developmental change and have a few rough nights. Good luck!
I think 5 to 10 minutes is totally normal and may even be helping him. If it is more than that, I might be worried that maybe you need to double check the times you are putting him down to make sure he is not overtired and/or is tired enough to sleep.
Check out this article about tension release and crying.
https://www.askmoxie.org/2011/01/tension-increasers/comments/page/2/
I wanted to add:
Have you tried introducing a "lovie"? Isaac has a blankie that is very fuzzy on one side and silky on the other. He loves to lay on top of it and rub it. Its very soothing for him. I only had one when I realized he was getting attached so I went and got a backup. He is my little Linus with that thing.
Mia is still a horrible napper at home (at daycare she takes MARATHON naps. stinker).
It really does sound normal, but I know how horrible it can be. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Honestly, I had to have a glass of wine after putting her down at night every night for a while.
DS totally had to 'fuss it down' to get to sleep for months. It got better when he could sit up in his crib and play until he got sleepy. We have some stuffed animals, a soft book and his paci and most of the time he gets himself to sleep. It takes longer at night than for naps, but we have had some horrid attempts at napping. We do encourage some sleep associations, like his white noise machine, the overhead fan, his seahorse, that sort of thing. We also try to put him down as soon as he shows that he is getting tired because if he is overtired, then things are much worse.
I think it is a phase and it will pass. Not to say you won't have an occasional off night, but for us it got better around 7 months too.