Pregnant after a Loss

So my mom tells me to be "happy & peppy" vent...

I love my mother, but she loves telling me how I'm supposed to feel. This coming from the woman who had no problem getting pregnant with three children and openly admits that she never had any type of m/s, cramping, fatigue, nothing!

So tonight, as I'm feeling like dinner is getting ready to make a rebound, she calls to yell at me about how I handled a situation with my dad (too long to go into) and then tells me, "you always sound like you're dying lately - I think it's about time you get a little happy and peppy." Within minutes I had to run off the phone to make it to the toilet. Part of me wishes I brought the phone into the bathroom with me so she could hear everything. Maybe next time.

Sorry mom - happy and peppy just ain't happening right now!

Thanks for listening :)

TTC since February 2009
BFP - Ended in m/c - 6/15/10
BFP - Ended in m/c - 1/2/11
BFP! - 4/13/11 - grow baby grow!! BabyFruit Ticker

Re: So my mom tells me to be "happy & peppy" vent...

  • Ugh.  I'm sorry.  Maybe your DH could video you puking on your phone and after you could smile and say, "Guess what mom?!  I'm feeling happy and peppy now!"
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • Loading the player...
  • romiguromigu member
    That is really frustrating especially from someone who is so close to you. Maybe she is just communicating her worries to you in her own way. It must be hard for her to hear you're not having the blissful pregnancy she described. My mom had a similar speech for me when I lost the first two pregnancies and it was tough to hear. I think moms just want us to be happy but they dont always know the right way to tell us. ((hugs))
    imageimage
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • I am so sorry, I know how frustrating it can be when someone you love is being insensitive. I am sure part of her just wants to see her baby feeling good again. I would let her know that your doing your best, and while you understand pregnancy was a completely positive experience for her you wish she was more sensitive to the fact that, that has not been your experience. *HUGS*
    Praying this is our take home baby. STICK TURKEY Mommy will miss you everyday my beautiful angel. We love you Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers M/C on 1/05/11 at 11 weeks.
  • Dude...totally bring the phone in the bathroom with you next time.Ick!

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • I say bring phone with you next time.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • My mom has told me this numerous times, I tell her maybe she should take her own advice.
    The Blog

    Dinner.Hard life?

    The brothers I Rule and OMG! with their faithful sidekickFootFoot.


    imageimageimage


    My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
  • imageBobbiJanay07:
    My mom has told me this numerous times, I tell her maybe she should take her own advice.

    Ooooo... I like that!! I do agree that she's just wanting me to feel better, but it's really not something she can will to happen. Thanks for the support ladies. We're over the moon with this pregnancy (we're now officially further along than any others) and I've heard being sick is a good sign!! It's just really making me miserable for the moment.

    Thanks again everyone :) Your hugs were definitely felt!!!

    TTC since February 2009
    BFP - Ended in m/c - 6/15/10
    BFP - Ended in m/c - 1/2/11
    BFP! - 4/13/11 - grow baby grow!! BabyFruit Ticker
  • Amen.  My mom is always saying everything is "just wonderful".  I think she blocked out 1st tri.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • HadleySHadleyS member

    Totally take a pic of your puke and text it to her!  Tell her THAT"s why it might seem to her that you have a little less pep!

    Really, it sounds to me like you are pretty darn happy, you said you were over the moon =)....you're not physically feeling so well, that's all.  I hope she comes around and understands soon.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP 12/05/10 (EDD 8/8/11), empty gestational sac 12/31/10, natural miscarriage 01/05/11
    BFP 03/03/11, EDD 11/09/11, We love you so much already, our sweet little munchkin!!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    *Congrats to buddies MrsAtch, cflocco, MommyandKate, luckylady55, opallover, trishiepoo, stephsteph77, and Pachita! Praying for healthy babies for all of you!*
    *Congrats to my buddy, Izabella22 (BFP 5/11/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
    *Congrats to my buddy, myaddiwaddi06(BFP 10/31/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
  • Sorry your mom isn't really taking time for your feelings --- and next time around, just bring the phone in the bathroom and go at it... no warning to her.

    Also, I feel your pain.  My mother loves to tell me about how great her pregnancies were and how she was already feeling baby move (literally lying on her back and watching baby move at only 16 weeks-- what?) at this point in her pregnancy.  She also loves to tell me how I look too 'small'.

    Just yesterday she was text messaging me about all the things she was buying baby - I had previously told her that even though she's the only one I told about the pregnancy that I didn't necessarily want to go ga-ga about it just yet... instead I wanted to wait until after the anatomy scan to even think about that stuff...  but there she was yesterday, just going off about items and when her to stop she told me to 'get over it and celebrate now'... blah to her.

    However - I'm not as polite as you so I basically told her that I'm scared and she can deal.

    image??? Baby Jane born sleeping @ 22.5 weeks ??? MY OWN NUTSHELL -- The Blog
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"