School-Aged Children

Help! Afraid my DD my have ADHD... (a little long)

I have 4 girls.  16, 13, 5, and 2 mos.  I am a bit concerned about my 5 year old.  She has always been different than her older sisters.  But we kind of shrugged it off as because she was so much younger.  She has always had issues with not listening when given an instruction, she has trouble focusing when you talk directly at her, and has some anger issues (but thats a tough one, because DH and his family has a history of anger issues.  Nothing severe, just seems to get angrier, quicker than most.  But is able to self sooth).  Anyway, sometimes she has trouble sitting still.  She will at times just run around or bounce in her seat, or something like that.  But it's not constant.  

Here's the kicker.  She's VERY intellegent, so it may seem as if she isn't paying attention but she knows every answer to any question asked.  Her writing skills are very good, and she can read chapter books. (she's in kindergarten).  She can also sit for a good legnth of time, if she's reading or doing anything artistic.  She has always been VERY much into anything creative.  In fact, if a teacher gives her a project, she will sit and focus on it until it's completely done.  And will sometimes take extra time to finish.  She also is a very funny, well liked little girl.  She has many friends and kids seem to gravitate toward her.  Please don't think I'm bragging,  I'm just trying to give a realistic picture of her.  She also has an invisable friend who she blames things on, talks to, and talks about .  But she's aware that it's not real. 

My family does have a history of ADHD.  My brother and his daughter and my sister's son all have it.  I don't know.  Sometimes I think her behavior might be related to something she might have ate.  Dyes, or anything like that.  She used to have a dairy allergy and she's anaphylactic to cashews, so there's a history with that.  I don't know, she may just be extra naughty, maybe we treated her differently than the others.  Maybe she's just not being challenged enough at school?  Who knows.  I for sure, will be discussing this with her ped. at her next appt.  BUT I soooo don't want to put her on meds if we can avoid it!  I'm so confused!!!! 

What do you think?  Thanks for listening!!!

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Re: Help! Afraid my DD my have ADHD... (a little long)

  • My 9 yr old is just like you describe.  He's always been that way and we've been through counseling and tried meds.  They don't work for him which makes us conclude he's not adhd.  That's just how he is.

    His teachers love him even through he can be frustrating.  He's not malicious in any way, he has friends....he just never stops talking and moving around.  

    We've had a few rough years trying to figure this kid out!  It takes a lot of patience to keep a happy household.  It has helped to keep him busy with after school activities. 

    Books I've found helpful....  1 2 3 Magic  , The Angry Child

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  • Thank you soooooo much!  Thats very interresting about the med. thing.  I never thought that meds wouldn't work if they weren't truely adhd!  I guess thats a reeal good way to know for sure!  And yes, our DD talks CONSTANTLY!  And then there is the patience aspect!  My DH was born without that gene:)  So that creats more of a challenge for me.  Oh well, I'm glad you suggested these books.  I will definately try them out!  Thanks again!
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  • My experience as a teacher is that kids with ADHD have trouble focusing on things even when they're interested in that thing.  They are neurologically wired to pay attention to everything and cannot sort out the important stimuli from the unimportant ones.  The fact that your daughter can get her work done efficiently in school consistently doesn't point to ADHD.  I think she sounds like a very bright little girl who doesn't feel she needs to listen to everything adults say; she's probably already figured out that she can get away with a lot of not listening and testing limits in certain circumstances.

    I feel, from what you've written in your post, that the hereditary factors (anger issues from Dad, ADHD in cousins) are really worrying you and that you're almost looking for those things to be present in your kids as well.  You know that DD#3 is more difficult than the older two, and you're wondering if she's the one who inherited all this "bad stuff" from the family.  But from what you've described, I would not jump to the conclusion that she has ADHD or emotional issues.

    However, a random stranger on an internet board is not what you need to put your fears to rest.  Definitely talk to your pediatrician, because you're probably just going to keep worrying and wondering about what's up with your DD until you hear from a doctor whether or not she's within the range of normal behavior for her age.

    What does her teacher say about her classroom behavior? 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • imagepregaftertubal:
    Thank you soooooo much!  Thats very interresting about the med. thing.  I never thought that meds wouldn't work if they weren't truely adhd!  I guess thats a reeal good way to know for sure!  And yes, our DD talks CONSTANTLY!  And then there is the patience aspect!  My DH was born without that gene:)  So that creats more of a challenge for me.  Oh well, I'm glad you suggested these books.  I will definately try them out!  Thanks again!

    I know, right?  We never considered that possibility, either.  Most ADHD medications are stimulants.  Give a stimulant to an ADHD kid and it calms them down.  But give them to a regular person and its just like giving them speed.  We gave it to him once and he literally talked for 7 hours straight.  He could barely finish a sentence before moving onto the next thought.  

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  • you guys have been a huge help!  Thank you!!!!  I have talked to her teacher, and other teacher friends of mine, AND SIL who is a teacher and they all feel the same as you.  That maybe she just has other issues, but not ADHD.  They have also suggested the red #40, so I def. need to do more research on this!

    Thank you so much!!!!

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  • imageneverblushed:

    My experience as a teacher is that kids with ADHD have trouble focusing on things even when they're interested in that thing.

    This is not always true. Hyper focus can be a characteristic found in people with ADHD.
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  • You could always get an OT eval for her. DD1 is very similar to your DD. She is more hyperactive, can't sit still, is distractible and will not respond when I am talking to her sometimes. She is also smart-already doing simple math, starting to read etc and makes friends easily. The kindergarten teacher noticed similar things during warm-up (she enters kinde in the fall). She is very physical and prefers to play with boys and has a high tolerance to pain and chews on things-almost as if she is sensory seeking. So we will see what the OT eval says. We plan to start with behavior modification and see how that goes first and plan to use meds as a last resort. I am also looking at her diet and cutting out foods with dyes as this can exacerbate hyperactivity in any kid. Kids with ADHD typically are very smart and have funny personalities. I suppose that is a benefit to the disorder. If you see a psychiatrist-they will recommend medications since they work from a medical model while a psychologist or OT will recommend some tips on behavior modification.
    Child #1: 6 yo DD Child #2: 2yo DD
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