Cincinnati Babies

How do you teach this?

Let me preface this by saying that DS is not in daycare; he is with my parents the 3 days I work.  He has been going to a tumbling class and storytime for more social interactions and practice with listening and following directions, etc.  I switched my days this week at work so I could take him to his last tumbling class (usually my mom takes him).  He does a great job listening and taking turns, but I also noticed that he's a big push-over.  There are quite a few high energy boys in the class and DS is one of the youngest.  These other boys would run back from their turn to get in line and cut in front of DS every.single.time.  DS would just stand there and ended up missing out on 2nd or 3rd turns at things because the other kids kept getting in front of him.  We talk a lot about sharing and taking turns, but how do I teach him to stick up for himself without being mean or a tattle?  I tried to get him to say "excuse me, it's my turn." but he wouldn't.  He didn't seem too terribly upset by it, but I felt bad for him.  I just don't want him to be the kid that all the other kids walk all over.  Any advice?  He starts preschool in the fall and I'm probably going to eat my words when he learns how to cut in line.  Tongue Tied
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Re: How do you teach this?

  • I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. In fact, I've had similar *concerns* related to J's nature/reaction in similar situations (mostly @ Gymboree). For now, I'm okay with having the polite, laid back child who just lets stuff like that roll off his back. In fact, I think I was the same way throughout my childhood. Now...well...you know... Wink
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  • kel716kel716 member

    imageTtimes3:
    I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. In fact, I've had similar *concerns* related to J's nature/reaction in similar situations (mostly @ Gymboree). For now, I'm okay with having the polite, laid back child who just lets stuff like that roll off his back. In fact, I think I was the same way throughout my childhood. Now...well...you know... Wink

    LOL at TTT

    We have the same.exact.issue.  B has been in daycare 2 days/week, and he repeatedly lets other kids go in front of him.  When DH drops him off in the AM, there are days when they are already outside on the slide.  He helps B slide before he goes, and B will let other kids go in front of him.  I dropped him off one morning when they were going up and down the slide, and I also watched him let other kids go in front of him, and when it was his turn another child was coming up the steps.  He let this kid go in front of him, even though he easily could have slid before this kid even finished getting up the steps. 

    I'm with TTT... I'd rather have a nice kid than a bully.  But, I do have to worry about him down the road...  will he know how to keep his footing?  To help him out, we keep taking him to places where he has to deal with this issue a little.  We went to Jump Zone last week, and eventually he figured out the 'it's my turn thing' (otherwise he never would have gone down the slides).  It doesn't mean he completely gets it... the scenario I witnessed above happened after the JZ day.    The only thing DH and I have decided we can do is keep putting him into scenarios where he does have to wait his turn and actually go.  Also, on the playground, I've been stepping back a little because I feel like if I'm constantly there for him, he'll never learn to fend for himself.   I won't let him do anything unsafe, I just backed up a little.  I hope that makes sense. 

    Maybe the best solution is have J, C, and B play together on a playground so that all of the "nice" boys have to work out whose turn it is????  Stick out tongue

  • imagekel716:

    Maybe the best solution is have J, C, and B play together on a playground so that all of the "nice" boys have to work out whose turn it is????  Stick out tongue

    Good idea! Let's go to the park, soon. Big Smile

  • I'm no help bc H is the same way. I know part of his problem is that he's lucky if he's around kids once a week so he doesn't get put into the scenario enough to actually figure out how to deal with it.
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  • F/U - DH and I had a conversation about this as we prepared dinner, tonight, so we decided to "test" J. I asked him, "J, what would you say/do if you wanted to go down the slide and other kids wouldn't share with you?" His response: "Please...can my turn now?" ::MELT:: Man, it's crazy what kids pick up. Moreover, I had no idea that he had the ability to think abstractly like that. Whether he is able to use his words in context is yet to be seen, but it was a proud parenting moment as we listened to his appropriate response to our prompting.  Wink
  • imageTtimes3:
    F/U - DH and I had a conversation about this as we prepared dinner, tonight, so we decided to "test" J. I asked him, "J, what would you say/do if you wanted to go down the slide and other kids wouldn't share with you?" His response: "Please...can my turn now?" ::MELT:: Man, it's crazy what kids pick up. Moreover, I had no idea that he had the ability to think abstractly like that. Whether he is able to use his words in context is yet to be seen, but it was a proud parenting moment as we listened to his appropriate response to our prompting.  Wink

    YesYes I think J needs to come teach H how to say sentences!

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  • C is the exact same way around children she doesn't know.  She always stands back and lets other children go first when we are out in public.  Just like everyone else, I'd rather she was like this then pushing other children out of the way.

    However, with the children I watch for childcare, some who come once per week, some who come everyday, she is totally able to stand her own and call them out whenever they cut in line waiting to wash hands or go down a slide, etc.  (Not that there is much of a line, but you know what I mean.)  I think and HOPE that this will translate into a school setting, once they are used to their peers and the environment, they will learn how to get what they want.

    Also, I teach it exactly like you do - "excuse me, it's my turn."  :)  We are all going to have some polite, well-mannered kiddos. 

  • JLPT830JLPT830 member
    imageTtimes3:
    imagekel716:

    Maybe the best solution is have J, C, and B play together on a playground so that all of the "nice" boys have to work out whose turn it is????  Stick out tongue

    Good idea! Let's go to the park, soon. Big Smile

    We're in!  

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  • kel716kel716 member

     

    imageJLPT830:
    imageTtimes3:
    imagekel716:

    Maybe the best solution is have J, C, and B play together on a playground so that all of the "nice" boys have to work out whose turn it is????  Stick out tongue

    Good idea! Let's go to the park, soon. Big Smile

    We're in!  

    My first day of summer vacay is June 10.  So... give me 2.5 more weeks and we're in!  I really liked that park last year with the splash pad (can't remember the name)

  • Um, how do you teach your child to be the polite, nice one?  My daughter would take full advantage of your boys' politeness.  She may be small, but watch out.
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