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January 2012 Moms
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Excuse for the "entitled" extended family

ChenoaFChenoaF
in January 2012 Moms

There is a HUGE family drama going on between my Mom and her sister (my Aunt) that has been going on for almost a year. They do not speak any longer because of differing opinions on how my Grandmother was cared for toward the end of her life. My Aunt has a 14yr old and 16yr old who are now also caught up in this drama and because of their age have crossed the line with me in the recent past and been nasty (via Facebook), mainly my younger cousin (the 14yr old). They also have some in house "issues" going on that they feel everyone should dwell on as well. The older one got in a sledding accident 2 yrs ago, has a lingering head injury. (legitimate issue totally get that) But, they feel that I should call every few days if I was a "decent person".

I chocked it up to age and was the "bigger" person. I talked it out with my cousins, aunt and I stay in contact...not every few days but on a regular basis. I'm trying to be the pacifier between my Aunt and my Mom but my Aunt is being very needy about the whole situation. My husband doesn't want to tell my aunt and cousins bc he's afraid that if the youngest one gets moody again she'll out us on FB before 12/13wks. I'm torn because I feel the longer I wait to tell them, they will feel like I didn't "include" them enough, but I also feel like my DH is right about her getting awild hair.

It's legitimate not to tell extended family till 12/13 wks right? Even if we used to be much closer. I hate drama! I'm always the peace keeper in my family role and I hate it.

Check out our blog of Sofia's progress... www.FisforFam.blogspot.com Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image Visit The Nest! image
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Re: Excuse for the "entitled" extended family

  • Pippa84Pippa84
    It's legitimate not to tell anyone you don't want to tell yet. Your body, your baby, your call.
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  • NiniJ55NiniJ55 member
    I think it's totally legitimate not to tell til 13 weeks.  No matter how close you used to be.  As soon as you are able to  I would tell and explain that you really did not tell anyone very early in the pregnancy and that they were not alone in not knowing.  I would use that excuse when the time comes.  It's understandable and normal.  If they can't understand that you did not want "anyone" to know early on - then that's not your problem. 
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  • km0022km0022 member

    I feel that your husbands concern is legit and valid.  Scenario 1) She does oust you on FB and then everyone knows and You weren't the one to tell them.  That would really hurt and anger you and with these pregnancy hormonones...who knows what could happen Smile  Scenario 2) You wait to tell them until 12/13 weeks and they are hurt that they weren't informed earlier.  They will eventually get over it, but I doubt you will get over the fact that you were outed on FB.  Explain to them that you only told ___(ex. mom and dad) and wanted to wait until we were out of the first trimester because so many things can happen, blah - blah blah.  If they can't come to terms with that, then that is their problem. not yours!  Don't let the family stress get to you in this amazingly happy time.  I hope everything works out for the best for you and DH.

     



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  • anhg80anhg80
    They'd be being totally ridiculous if they held it against you that you waited to tell at 12/13 weeks like a normal person.  Honestly, if they do get mad with you, I'd pull out of that drama.  No need to rile you up when you're feeling sick and tired already.  
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  • ChenoaFChenoaF

    Thanks for the advice. I think I knew all along but the reassurance is just so necessary sometime. Especially now since I have no idea when my emotions are hormonal or justified!

    I'm more at peace...thank you!

    Check out our blog of Sofia's progress... www.FisforFam.blogspot.com Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image Visit The Nest! image
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