Does having children make you happy?

Vonbabe · May 2011

I found this interesting article on cnn.com.

I never thought of the "hard" parts of being a parent. When we are TTC or pregnant we tend to think about the "cute" stuff. The protruding baby belly, the cute maternity clothes, buying the cute baby stuff, the exciting birth stories and seeing that precious baby finally!

Most couples don't think about how hard it will be to have and raise a child.

I thought the most interesting part from the article was where it stated "Simon says there are other challenges for parents, too. The sociology professor said marital satisfaction decreases after the birth of the first child and continually decreases over time." This is something we must consider before becoming parents. It is hard enough to raise a child much less to raise one alone if you and your spouse divorce.

Access your relationships and make sure they have strong values and are healthy before bringing a baby into the picture!

I'm not trying to offend anyone. I just really thought this was an interesting article and I was surprised with the findings!

https://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/05/23/do.not.want.children/index.html?hpt=C2

bellablue2 · May 2011

I totally agree that its important to have a healthy relationship before deciding to have children. Children are such a blessing, but they bring a huge amount of stress into a relationship. I think if the couple starts off healthy they will be a lot more likely to be successful after they have children!

Vonbabe · May 2011

bellablue2:
I totally agree that its important to have a healthy relationship before deciding to have children. Children are such a blessing, but they bring a huge amount of stress into a relationship. I think if the couple starts off healthy they will be a lot more likely to be successful after they have children!

Yes You said it perfectly! I couldn't agree more (obviously)! Smile

argonne · May 2011

I wouldn't say it makes me happy. We were happy before. It has definitely added another level to our relationship. It is very easy to become so involved with the baby and let other things (like your relationship) go. We make an effort to go out, just the two of us, and stay connected with our friends. We also stay active in things we were doing prior to DS, like competing in Triathlons, camping, hiking. DS usually just comes along with us.

I don't know how many mothers I've seen so involved with their children that their husband gets no attention whatsoever. Sometimes it seem like the only attention their husbands ever get is getting yelled at or told to do something. How's a relationship supposed to survive in that kind of environment?

It is hard when you're TTC and PG to think about anything other than a cute, cuddly baby and all the cool things that go along with it. You don't think (or even know) how hard it actually is. Especially that first month or so. You have to figure out how/when you'll take a shower, when you'll eat, etc. I am not a huge fan of the newborn stage.

pinkangelmoon · May 2011

Definitely interesting. Here's another article I ran into the other day on why people still decide to have children despite the findings:

https://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/17/science/17tierney.html

An excerpt:

?People find meaning in providing unconditional love for children,? writes Dr. Brooks, who is now president of the American Enterprise Institute. ?Paradoxically, your happiness is raised by the very fact that you are willing to have your happiness lowered through years of dirty diapers, tantrums and backtalk. Willingness to accept unhappiness from children is a source of happiness.?