January 2012 Moms

Agreement with DH

If there is one baby in there, we will not find out the gender. If there are two babies (we did transfer two embryos) we will find out the genders.

I really want to know and he really doesn't want to know, so I think this is fair. What are all of your plans? 

Married 08.06
Started TTC 05.08
Me: Stage II endo, borderline high FSH
DH: perfect
1 lap, 5 IUIs = 4 BFNs and 1 c/p
2 IVFs, 2 FETs = 1 BFN, 1 c/p, 1 ectopic and finally a sticky BFP in May 2011!

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Re: Agreement with DH

  • ondjimaondjima member

    Love that idea! What if there are 3 :D

    We are finding out the gender, we weren't going to when we first TTC 2 years ago, now we are more than ready!

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  • I will be finding out as soon as I can! 

    I did with DD also. For me, it really helped me bond with "my daughter" and give her a name and I could picture her and use a pronoun and have dreams for the future or manicures and tea parties! It's still a surprise and it was a great moment for DH and I.

    And the birth was wonderful also, it was great to see what she looked like and meet her.

    I know lots of people have different opinions, that's my experience :)  

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  • Oh, I'm a total planner/orgainzer, so if hubby doesn't want to know, that's his business, but I WILL find out.  If I could find out right now, I would!
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  • Oh man! If you can stand to not know, more power to ya!

    I found out 3 days ago I am expecting & I can hardly wait to find out! 

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  • lp0lp0 member
    We will definitely be finding out as soon as we can. I'm super impatient and a planner so I would never be able to wait 9 months to find out.
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  • kle0113kle0113 member
    We will find out.  We did with out daughter also.  I could never not find out.  I give anyone that does not find out a lot of credit. 
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  • km0022km0022 member

    We will not be finding out as we want to keep it a surprise.  There are only so many surprises that God has for you and we feel that this is one of them.    But definetly semi-jealous of those who will know and can plan, etc.  Good agreement with your husband though on if its 1 or 2 LO's.



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  • imageondjima:

    Love that idea! What if there are 3 :D

    If there are 3, then I am adding on to my house so my parents can come live with us to help! : ) 

    Married 08.06
    Started TTC 05.08
    Me: Stage II endo, borderline high FSH
    DH: perfect
    1 lap, 5 IUIs = 4 BFNs and 1 c/p
    2 IVFs, 2 FETs = 1 BFN, 1 c/p, 1 ectopic and finally a sticky BFP in May 2011!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    1 FET in Aug 2013 = BFP! 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • DH and I made a deal when we had our first baby that we would have a surprise(what I wanted) for the first one and then we would find out for the rest. Part of me would like another surprise. We have one of each so we have all we need. DH hates waiting. I think it's fun. So, I guess we will find out.
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  • ondjimaondjima member
    imagesweetky_06:
    imageondjima:

    Love that idea! What if there are 3 :D

    If there are 3, then I am adding on to my house so my parents can come live with us to help! : ) 

    Love it!

  • My hubby also does NOT want to know, and I do want to find out.  I could be bias, but I think the mama should be the tie-breaker.  I would let hubby be the tie-breaker if he A). Gained 50 + pounds. B). Suffered from extreme fatigue. C). Had raging hormone issues. D). Was baking a human. E). Had to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon. and F). Was to become the sole source of nutrition for baby 9+ months after giving birth.  But, he doesn't do all that so if I want to find out...my vote is "weighted" slightly heavier.  But, it is also nice if you can come to a compromise (just won't happen in my case and didn't happen with DS either) Big Smile

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  • I'm getting a lot of criticism IRL because I will be finding out what we are having.  I keep getting, "Don't you want to be surprised?"  Yes, I will be surprised either way.  I'm just choosing to have my surprise at 20-ish weeks instead of at the birth. 
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  • We're finding out!  I love the bonding that comes with the baby after you know the gender and have the name picked out.  When they start killing you with the kicks at the end you know exactly who you are yelling at when you're telling them to stop. ;)
    DD- 7/22/07 DS- 4/22/09 DS #2- 1/11/12
  • imageandreaw1124:

    My hubby also does NOT want to know, and I do want to find out.  I could be bias, but I think the mama should be the tie-breaker.  I would let hubby be the tie-breaker if he A). Gained 50 + pounds. B). Suffered from extreme fatigue. C). Had raging hormone issues. D). Was baking a human. E). Had to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon. and F). Was to become the sole source of nutrition for baby 9+ months after giving birth.  But, he doesn't do all that so f I want to find out...my vote is "weighed" slightly heavier.  But, it is also nice if you can come to a compromise (just won't happen in my case and didn't happen with DS either) Big Smile

    My husband's baby book (the Expectant Father) recommends that the woman have at least 51% of the say an in any pregnancy decision :)  I agree!  

    Luckily, we both want to find out.  I think we'll be just as surprised by the whole experience no matter when we find out the sex. 

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  • I was pretty torn on whether to find out or not, but DH wanted to find out so since I couldn't make up my mind I decided to just go with him on it and we will find out. 


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  • If there's more than one, I kinda want to know, but DH always says no way!  And up til now I've always said I don't want to know until birth.  So we've decided to go Team Green, no matter what .....unless there's more than 2....then I am reconsidering.  :) 
  • That sounds like a great plan!  We will be finding out.  Neither of us can take the suspense.
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  • Great idea!!!

    We were going to wait, but decided it is not going to happen. We are not good at not knowing, curiosity would get the best of us. haha.  

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  • I want to know right away! Can't wait to find out everything I can about our baby! :)
  • imagemoleson99:
    Oh, I'm a total planner/orgainzer, so if hubby doesn't want to know, that's his business, but I WILL find out.  If I could find out right now, I would!
    This!Smile But, I think it's great that you two were able to come to an agreement. 
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  • imageondjima:

    Love that idea! What if there are 3 :D

    We are finding out the gender, we weren't going to when we first TTC 2 years ago, now we are more than ready!

    this Stick out tongue

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