Moms of 2+ ~ how long does this last?

ironmommy · May 2011

We brought our baby boy home just over a week ago, and DD has been acting out ever since. It seems like EVERYTHING is a battle with her, and if she doesn't get what she wants it's an immediate meltdown. I'm trying to be very patient and giving her lots of one-on-one time, and that helps some, but it's still a struggle. I feel terrible because I'm not enjoying her company like I used to.

I know this is normal when dealing with a new sibling in the house, but how long before her typical 3-year-old acting out comes back and we're not dealing with typical behavior PLUS extra big sister craziness?

Smores730 · May 2011

My DD was 2, years 4 months so a little younger but it took her about 3 weeks to stop her "adjustment behavior". I tried to not change our daily routine whatsoever and honestly I think one of the factors that made it worse was having daddy home 24/7. I hope it gets better for you soon!

FutureMrsCaesar · May 2011

I don't mean to scare you, but we're still dealing with it here.

Brewtowngrl · May 2011

We still have issues, but if we make a point for either DH or I to leave the house with DS for one on one time at least once a week it is better.

Soter1 · May 2011

He still has meltdowns but the TRUE new baby BSC ones lasted a tad over a month. We also experienced SEVERE and I mean severe, trauma stuttering. It was heartbreaking. All is well with the world now. After 3 mos or so I felt like a new woman Congratulations and good luck, you will get through this!

smile869 · May 2011

I don't think the 'sibling rivalry' will ever go away completely. My baby is 14 mo old, DS is now 2 1/2, and he still freaks if she touches something of his, or just runs up and pushes her if he's frustrated. The initial 'adjustment' i'd say maybe lasted a couple weeks, but it never settles back to how it was before.....cause it's different than before. now there's always two, campaigning for your love and time and attention. We found that by just taking one of baby's nap times, and focusing all our attention on DS, whatever he wanted to do, color, read, puzzles, whatever, it really helped. and TONS of positive reinforcement for when she's nice to baby. Good luck! It DOES get easier!

The Housewife · May 2011

DS was much younger then your DD (22 months), but it lasted a good 2 months, and then another 2 months were 50/50. Once DD had a routine things got a lot easier! Now that DD is mobile, we have lots of hitting and kicking when she wants his toys, and I know that's not going away anytime soon! From the time DD was a week old, I would take DS out on "dates". DH was DS primaty caregiver during those first weeks so it was nice to get him out to spend some time with Mom w/o the baby.

schnappycat · May 2011

It's actually gotten worse for us. Now that DD is mobile, DS is even more jealous. Like pps mention, he gets so mad when she tries to touch his stuff and he can be quite mean. We are still trying to figure out how to best deal with it.

la79al · May 2011

DD1 has also gotten worse. She actually was perfectly normal until about 1.5 months ago. Now suddenly we are battling all day about every other day. She is still pretty great with the baby but now will try to climb in my lap as soon as I sit down, always wants to be carried and can no longer do things like dress herself and use the potty. I think some of this has to do with us constantly calling her a big girl though, not so much anything to do with the baby.

iluvbillynollie · May 2011

I feel like we are going through this a litle bit as well. She is really good with the baby and loves him, but is just so whiny and hyper all the time now. It's like she can never settle down anymore. I hope it ends soon.

kmc217 · May 2011

la79al:
DD1 has also gotten worse. She actually was perfectly normal until about 1.5 months ago. Now suddenly we are battling all day about every other day. She is still pretty great with the baby but now will try to climb in my lap as soon as I sit down, always wants to be carried and can no longer do things like dress herself and use the potty. I think some of this has to do with us constantly calling her a big girl though, not so much anything to do with the baby.

This for us too. Initially DD1 wanted to be carried a lot and was a little more clingy but nothing too bad. Lately, it is one power struggle after another and I'm not sure if this is typical "almost 3" behavior or the fact that DD2 is very mobile and into everything and therefore even more needy of my time/energy than when she was a newborn (and could be strapped to my body in the Ergo for hours, leaving my arms free for DD1. Good luck to you and hang in there!

VTbride05 · May 2011

Sad sorry mama!

ds didnt go through this too much, but i have found that our days are much better when i can give him an hour or so of attention in the morning. crafts, books, cuddle time. even if i am nursing, as long as we are hands on. puzzles, games, telling stories. he reallly needs this. it's not always easy to do, but i try very hard to find the time b/c he responds well to it.

hope that things get better!! hugs!

moosemax · May 2011

Still dealing with it here...

I think that all kids are different and are going to take different amounts of time to adjust. Good luck!

KelzinBoston · May 2011

We did ok at first...but it's gotten worse for us now. I think 3 is going to be a tough age for DS1 and now that DS2 is crawling we're seeing some sibling rivalry.

We've really been dividing and conquering a lot on the weekend...each of us taking a turn alone with 1 kid. It's hard, especially since I'm nursing and don't pump, but DS1 does better when he has this time alone.

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