April 2011 Moms

About to quit BF- talk me out of it!

BF has been a struggle for me and LO since the beginning. On paper it looks like we are doing great (ie he has gained weight like a champ). But I'd say 75% or more of our feedings are just awful. He's squirmy and grunty and just moves all around, pulls his head back and arches his back (all while my nipple is firmly in his mouth- OUCH!). He messes around with the nipple forever before he actually latches onto it. He spits up more often than not, and that just makes me feel like the 45 minute battle I just fought was all for nothing. My nipples are in so much pain and I end up crying through at least 1 or 2 feedings a day. I know it's what is best for him but I'm really battling with the idea of EP-ing, which is NOT something I think I would really enjoy but at least I'd have some consistency and know what to expect each time I pump (the pump doesn't arch its back, stretch its neck, and take my nipple with it). I really want to BF, but I'm not sure how much more I can take. Convince me to keep at it....please!
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DS1 born 4/17/11
DS2 born 2/22/13
MMC 5/16/14@8w2d
DD due 5/9/15 Please be our
RAINBOW


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Re: About to quit BF- talk me out of it!

  • 6 weeks was my magic turnaround moment... LO latches better, the overactive letdown/supply issue is evening out, feedings are much less painful and my nipples are no longer in constant pain and I don't cry everyday (I was!). I sympathize... I pumped for the first few weeks and EBF is so much easier than that was and quicker!!

    But depending on your situation, maybe pumping is the right fit for you. You could also just do it for a few days to give yourself a little sanity break ... and see if you prefer it to EBF. Whatever works for you Big Smile

    What helped me in those dark, stressful, teary moments was giving myself little goals... just get to the end of the week, get to 3 weeks, get to a month - aim for 6 weeks. A little at a time because BF can be overwhelming at times and stressful!

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • I agree with everything the PP just said.  6 weeks seems to be the magic age when a lot of things just click.  Also, my daughter loves to the stretch and twist with her nipple in my mouth, and when she seems really agitated while nursing I just pull her off, burp her, and switch sides.

    It DOES get easier.  I assume you have tried nipple shields to help with the pain?

    Stephanie Hsu
  • Before you make any decisions try breast feeding with bottle feeding. Maybe it doesn't have to be totally one way or the other.

    I think you need a break. Pump a couple times after you feed lo, so that you aren't taking any meals away from your baby. Once you've accumulated 2oz you're ready to go!

    Let someone else give lo the bottle and you should give yourself some much deserved "you " time. 

    My DH took over a few feedings and it really recharged me. I EBF now and it is a relief knowing that I can give lo a bottle at anytime if I can't tolerate breast feeding. I pumped when DH gave LO the bottle because my breasts hurt from engorgement. I then froze 2 oz bag fulls and collected a small stash in the freezer. 

    My baby pulls at the nipple and arches his back too. I place my hand always behind his head to prevent him pulling away with my nipple.  


  • imagestephanie_shoe:

    I agree with everything the PP just said.  6 weeks seems to be the magic age when a lot of things just click.  Also, my daughter loves to the stretch and twist with her nipple in my mouth, and when she seems really agitated while nursing I just pull her off, burp her, and switch sides.

    It DOES get easier.  I assume you have tried nipple shields to help with the pain?

     

    nipple shields saved my life... just sayin :) 

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  • If you need a break, pump. Its important that Mommy is happy for baby to be happy. Missurly it's great to hear things have turned around for you, I know you were battleling a lot of issues. It gives me hope that maybe I'll be successful BF now that we are trying again.
    Love, Peace and Rock & Roll the urban ellas Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I agree with everyone else. Pump so that if you want to give a bottle feeding and get a break, you have the option. We've started one bottle a day to get DD used to it and to give me a bit more freedom. Just having a break every day to look forward to will probably help you feel better. Good luck!
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  • I haven't had any problems breastfeeding and my DD is tongue-tied.  But I do use a bottle once in awhile, maybe one feeding every other day, because BF gets on my nerves sometimes.  I use a NUK nipple on the bottle (with my pumped BM) and after she has a feeding with the NUK, she is a much better suckler.  One reason to keep up at BF is I am almost back to pre -pregnancy weight.  I would be all the way back if each boob didn't weigh ten pounds. Try different positions, my favorite is side lying while watching television, it hurts less for me.  I also like the football position.  Good luck!

    Also, my hospital has a BF support group for moms.  Check to see if there is anything like that in the area.  My hospital has a lactation specialist I can call at anytime.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • What your LO is doing sounds like what my LO did when I had an oversupply issue. Is it possible you have the same issue? The big clue to me was his green poop, but when I talked to an LC she asked me a number of questions and she pointed to this as being our issue. Once I got my supply regulated, DS was MUCH calmer at the breast. Maybe talking to an LC will help you work out your issues. The other thing that may not be oversupply, but could cause that kind of fussiness is a strong letdown. Babies get too much too fast causing that kind of behavior. There is a lot of good info about it on Kellymom.

    But I think that it would be a good idea to bottle feed some during the day. That would give you a break, but would also allow you and LO to improve your BFing relationship. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's a hard process - and I think something no one can prepare for you. Good luck. 

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  • Against my LC's wishes I use the nipple shield.  I really don't care because it's the only way my little guy will latch on.  When he is on his marathon naps I pump and then that gives me relief for my boobs later in the day.  Those things have kept my nursing when I wanted to give up.  Good luck!!
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  • imagewformickella:
    If you need a break, pump. Its important that Mommy is happy for baby to be happy. Missurly it's great to hear things have turned around for you, I know you were battleling a lot of issues. It gives me hope that maybe I'll be successful BF now that we are trying again.

    Thanks wformickella! It's been a looooong road to successfully breastfeeding but I finally (knock on wood) think we're here. I can't remember what issues you're dealing with but try to stick it out to 6 weeks, the magic number apparently Wink

    PM me if I can be of any help!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ditto everyone else. 

     

    And as another suggestion talk to your pedi about reflux. That is exactly what was happening with DS. At 2wks pedi said as long as they are gaining weight they will not do anything for refux. Finally at his one month check-up I got her to put him on prilosec. It is a WORLD of difference!

     

     

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  • It should hurt, it will be hard but you shouldn't be miserable. I say and go ahead and pump -- you are still giving him your breast milk and you are happier - win, win.
  • Your LO sounds a lot like mine.  She's always trying to put her fists in her mouth or grabbing my nipple while I'm trying to get her to latch on.  Sometimes I swaddle her to avoid it, but a lot of the time, I just grab her arms and pin them at her side.  I really have to hold her tight to keep her from jerking around.  She resists it at first, but once she's latched on and eating, she relaxes.  I feel bad restricting her so much, especially when she gets PO'd about it, but it doesn't hurt her and makes us both happier in the long run. 
  • Oh man, I can relate!  My 8-week old stretches and squirms and always takes my nipple with her -- ouch. 

    My mom's a lactation consultant, and suggests that when the baby gets to this phase, you may want to breastfeed in a quiet, somewhat dark place where there's little distraction.  That may help. 

    Also for your pain, I found this really helped: when you're done feeding, put a generous squeeze of bacitracin (its like Neosporin) on each of your nipples and then cover them with a nursing pad.  It may sting at first because your nipples are raw, but it will help them heal. Before you feed again, wash off your nipples with a warm washcloth.  Do this every time you're done feeding for a few days, it will REALLY help your symptoms while you're deciding how to proceed. Good luck!!

    Here are some other tips for successful breastfeeding:

    https://momsla.com/2011/05/9-tips-for-successful-breastfeeding/

     Hope this resolves for you :)

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