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where did my friends go?

jlpevjlpev member
in Stay at Home Moms
Well since I've been a SAHM I never hear or see my friends anymore...occasionally I get texts from them or something but thats it!  I really miss talking to them but I am always the one to call them & see how things are going.  Also only a couple friends have seen DS, alot of my friends have kids & undrstand this feeling of feeling alone bc I remember them telling me about it after they had their LO's.  Well anyways I just wanted to see if anyone is going thru this too. 
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Re: where did my friends go?

  • almostjenniferalmostjennifer member
    I hardly hear from my non-SAHM friends.
    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
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  • ilovelifeilovelife member
    LOL I just posted something similar...except it's like I don't want to muster up the energy to have play dates or such. My friends whom I do stay in contact with only talk to me on Facebook....but they all live 1 1/2 hours away. : (
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  • JennaHopeJennaHope
    Most of our friends live an hour to hour and a half away so it makes getting together difficult. The people I know a bit more locally do not have kids DD's age. Their youngest is DS' age and i find that they seem more hesitant about hanging out with us having a younger child. I'm trying to be friendly with a couple now whose girls are the same ages as my two. But trying not to be pushy at the same time...it's tough!
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  • The_Jen626The_Jen626

    I have put a LOT of effort into getting and maintaining my group of friends.  My DH works a ton of hours and if I didn't have my girlfriends, I would be very lonely.  I find that sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that plans things, but honestly, I don't care.  I know that I need the girl time, so I make it happen.

    I started a monthly book club in April 2010 and invited every female I knew, and told them to invite their friends too.  We started with 6 girls and now it's about 20, we meet once a month and it's so fun to get that girl time!

    I made friends with everyone i knew that had a baby/kid.  Then I invited them all over for playdates at my house, I usually host one every month.  Now we have a large group and some of the other Moms host occasionally, it's awesome.

    I recently joined my local MOMS Club and that seems like it will be a fun distraction during the week for me.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is...put yourself out there.  Plan a lunch playdate with another friend that has a baby.  Make the effort, and I bet your friends will fall right in line and make plans with you too!

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  • jlpevjlpev member
    My son is alot younger than all my friends kids soo its hard to have playdates plus I live out in the country & some of my friends have made the comment that its soo far out here & they never have anything to do this far north of their places.  O well I'll just keep calling & texting them trying to make something work.  I just get upset b/c when they all had their babies I went over & helped, baked meals for them & would come visit them regardless what I had going on I would make time for them.  O well I just want to treat people how I would want to be treated.
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  • The_Jen626The_Jen626

    imagejlpev:
    My son is alot younger than all my friends kids soo its hard to have playdates plus I live out in the country & some of my friends have made the comment that its soo far out here & they never have anything to do this far north of their places.  O well I'll just keep calling & texting them trying to make something work.  I just get upset b/c when they all had their babies I went over & helped, baked meals for them & would come visit them regardless what I had going on I would make time for them.  O well I just want to treat people how I would want to be treated.

    Well if they don't want to drive to you, can you drive to them?

    I mean, I went to a playdate today and there were a few older toddlers, a one year old, and 2 little babies there.  It doesn't matter how old the kids are, it's more for the moms to visit, IMO.

    Have you looked on meetup.com for a local mommy group that you could join?  Maybe you just need a new circle of friends, if your current friends aren't doing what you want them to do.

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  • cherhop1cherhop1

    Yes I can totally relate.  I thought I would have a more active social life but it's been the complete opposite.  My SAH friend's kids are older and have different schedules and/or activities that make it difficult to get together much.  I've made plans with other moms I've met but something always comes up and/or LO is sick and we never seem to make it happen.

    I had no idea SAH would be so isolating.  I was just talking to a friend about this last night and she said it wasn't until the kids got into kindergarten that their social life got busy again.  At that point there's always play dates and activities going on.  You'll make new friends then.  Hopefully you'll reconnect with old ones too.  I think sometimes friends think you are too busy with LO to really connect but that is not the case at all.  I  think becoming a new mom is a big adjustment for both us and our friends. 

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