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May 2011 Moms
dahansen85
member
Who did you tell when you went into labor? (Long - MIL VENT)
dahansen85
member
Originally we were considering not telling anyone when I go into labor - we'd just let everyone know the baby was born. (DH is the only one coming to the hospital, and most family lives far away).
However, my mom mentioned that she would like to know when we go in, which I don't mind, because I know she won't be calling/texting every five minutes for an update. Same with my Dad.
Thing is, my MIL calls us EVERY DAY wondering if anything is happening. I also found out that she calls the hospital DAILY when her Dad is in hospital (which is often) and insists to speak with him, meaning the nurses have to deliver a phone to him in his room. She has been repeatedly asked not to do this. I feel like I really can't trust her not to call the maternity ward/our cell multiple times looking for updates, even if we ask her not to.
Anyway, all that to simply ask, what did you ladies do?
I'm just a little worried that info may spread through the grapevine and feelings may end up getting hurt. Perhaps I'm over-thinking it?
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Re: Who did you tell when you went into labor? (Long - MIL VENT)
With DD, the only people who knew I had gone into the hospital were my parents. My Mom was going to fly in as soon as I was admitted so she could be here (which is what DH & I wanted).
This time, I was induced and my Mom flew in right before to keep DD. We didn't tell the IL's until after Baby Boy was here. They still haven't come out, which is perfectly fine with me.
If you don't want your MIL to meddle, give explicit instructions that no one should contact you. And turn off your cell phones.
aCg 3.1.07 | hCr 5.5.11
The only person we told when we went into L&D was our friend who was picking up our dog from our house to dog sit.
We called our good 2 friends and our parents the next day, to tell them the progress (and since i had some complications, to ask for prayers)
the following day after that, when M was born, it took us 3 hours after he was born to call everyone, even if everyone of them was sending multiple texts and calls, but we'd just ignore. Trust me, when they hear that their grandchild is born, they get over anything.
That was actually part of our birth plan, that for exactly one hour after the baby was born, that we'd get family time where (pending no major medical complications) we could just chill for a bit and be an "us". Best thing ever, the nurse kicked everyone out, the pedi (on call) came in to check up on him and the nurse was all "can you come back in an hour" and we got a ton of time just the three of us. Which, admittedly, was perfect.
Then we started calling people.
You're not overthinking it. Trust me, do what you think you'll want most. Forget everyone else. IF they had a problem with it, they WILL get over it.
Oh girl, I feel for you. I'm in a really similar situation! MIL calls all the time (and if I don't pick up, she calls my hubby. If he doesn't pick up, she makes his dad call). I emailed her an update yesterday after our doc appt and she emailed back this morning and said she had forwarded it to 30 people!!! Are you kidding me??? I almost choked.
Anyway, as for what we're planning, we'll either: 1) tell them when we go into the hospital and make her understand that it is NOT ok to call everyone she knows with the update and also NOT ok for her to call us every 5 minutes, or 2) if I'm feeling particularly irritated, we just won't call them at all until we have an outside baby.
As long as your DH is on board with your plan, don't feel badly about not calling her. It's only going to stress you out! This is you and your family and you just need to make the decision that is best for the 3 of you! Good luck!
My sister is coming with H and I as H may pass out during the birth. (He almost passed out during birthing class!) I have a feeling she will tell our parents. They have jobs where they can't just drop everything and leave though so if it's during working hours, I know they won't be coming up.
Other than that, H has a game plan for calling people based on when it happens, time of progression, and such. I really don't care who knows as long as they aren't in the room with me!
When I pre-registered at the hospital they had a form I signed allowing them to release information to people who called looking for us. We could allow them to tell people we were at the hospital or if we refused consent anyone calling to ask if we were there would be told we had not been admitted (even though we were there).
We are choosing to have the nurses tell people we are not at the hospital since we don't feel it is their job to field phone calls from our family (if they want to reach us they have our cell phones).