How does your husband react?

karbarr · May 2011

My husband is a mess when it comes to soothing baby. I think he really panics and doesn't know what to do. Yesterday I had to run out for some errands once he was home and DD was napping. While at Costco, he called me and said that the baby wouldn't calm down so he was going to give her formula. His solution is "just give her a bottle of formula" and I'm ebf. I really don't want to give her formula and I know that she could've waited a few minutes but DH just gave in. How do YHs deal with a crying baby while you're away?

Goodysgirl · May 2011

My DH has way more patience than I do. With DD, even though I was EBF, he was always the one to calm/soothe her. He still is.

With DS I dont give him a chance because he doesn't get a daddy's girl AND boy. So I'm a baby hog this time around.

Why don't you leave him with some milk next time you're out and/or show him how to soothe your LO (rocking, shushing, patting, etc..)?

I know someone with a 5 month old who cannot be soothed by her DH (for lack of him ever trying), so on the rare ocassion she is out, their DD screams with her daddy the whole time. So I'd make sure DH got the hang of it asap.

MG7 · May 2011

While he's not a mess I can tell he's nervous when DS is melting down. He does the same thing with food though - he assumes most cries are because the baby is hungry. I'd be annoyed though if he gave a bottle of formula to my BFed baby. We don't have any in the house basically because of just that, I think DH would be quick to give it to him. ***I realize tons of babies have formula it's just not something I want for my baby***

I've noticed that DH will revert back to things that worked with DS1, the soothing techniques from The Happiest Baby On The Block. Maybe you can check out the book, and I believe there might be a DVD also, to give your DH a few ideas that might work.

Steph1673 · May 2011

MG7:
While he's not a mess I can tell he's nervous when DS is melting down. He does the same thing with food though - he assumes most cries are because the baby is hungry.

This.

kje120 · May 2011

My husband is actually really good at soothing Andrew - I think he handles the crying better than me sometimes. I have pumped milk in the fridge when I go out so he has some in case baby gets hungry.

MegZRN · May 2011

Steph1673:
MG7:
While he's not a mess I can tell he's nervous when DS is melting down. He does the same thing with food though - he assumes most cries are because the baby is hungry.
This.

Mine does this too. Its annoying. He also is one to just keep saying "you're ok" when she's screaming in the swing. I've had to tell him many times "you need to pick her up!" I feel like I can't leave because he will just let her cry in her swing all day.

campbaby76 · May 2011

I don't get the hands off soothing technique either. My husband is terrified to be alOne with Jack. It will have to happen soon though

shaindelr · May 2011

You can get The Happiest Baby on the Block from Netflix. Jared does all that stuff or guitar/singing. A bath is his last resort...then a massage with lavendar baby lotion.

pinksissie · May 2011

kestock120:
My husband is actually really good at soothing Andrew - I think he handles the crying better than me sometimes. I have pumped milk in the fridge when I go out so he has some in case baby gets hungry.

This. DH is great when she's melting down...he's less good when she's whiny. He doesn't understand that she just needs a change of pace or something new to look at.

jessjo04 · May 2011

DH does a great job of soothing DS. In the beginning I had to explain to DH that you cant just let him cry, he thought he would spoil him, but DH is a fast learner :P Most of the time when DS cries, hes hungry, and I BF and FF, so its easy for DH to make him a bottle. Most evenings, DS will sit on DH's lap and look at him for hours, its pretty cute.

CatfishAnn · May 2011

My husband is-- I'm sorry-- an idiot when it comes to soothing DD. I'll turn the lights down, rock her, talk quietly to her, etc., then put her in her crib to sleep. If she wakes up and fusses, DH will insist on being the one to go check on her. I come in, and he's got the lights all on and is talking loudly to her, zooming her around the room, mocking her fussy noises, and generally getting her more worked up. *facepalm* I've told him over and over that that's not really an effective way to soothe a newborn, particularly repeating her fussy noises. He says, "Oh, that's not to comfort her, it's to comfort me." Yeah, that's our priority here-- how YOU feel.

GHBEA · May 2011

My DH just does his think with her. He has a lot of patience and I think that is a big plus.

stephanie_shoe · May 2011

He seems to just ignore her meltdowns. He likes holding her as demonstrated in HBOTB and shusshing her...and when all else fails he plunks her in her swing. When I'm not around I also leave bottles of pumped milk in case she is hungry.

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